Specifically, I had an angel in my head today, he felt like a liquid gold orgasm.  Was it an angel or my eighth chakra?  I’m pretty sure it was an angel but you can never be totally sure because angels are like living holograms that exist in all dimensions at once.

 I had a dream about an angel when I was about three years old.  I didn’t realize who it was at the time.  She appeared as an older black woman with a shopping cart.  I knew she wanted to take me away in the shopping cart, but I was afraid.  Then there was an image of a rocket taking off for outer space.  I was kind of scared and when I woke up I thought about this woman and almost believed she was still there, watching me.  I told her to go away, I think, or at any rate ignored her because at that time I couldn’t believe someone could come out of a dream into the waking world and anyway I was afraid.  For most of my life I was afraid of spirits and I don’t know why, but it’s okay now.

This angel, I now know, was communicating compassion for me, wishing she could rescue me from my horrible life.  But at the same time the image of the rocket was a communication that my life had been launched on its trajectory and there was really no way to stop it.  I remember bits of the conversation I had later that day, watching vague images move around, getting the sense that somehow I had to be stuck in this physical world, but I had to try to be good even though everything sucked.  At the time I just couldn’t reconcile myself to the absurdity of the whole process.  It was years before I truly believed in the afterlife and now I know this angel has always been with me.  

There was another dream I had around the same time, that I was with two teenage girls and they were carrying me through a crowd, one of them had me on her shoulders.  One had red hair, and one was blonde.  They were making fun of the little black cardigan sweater I was wearing.  I knew they believed I was theirs and it scared me.  I woke up.  I was lying on the living room floor and I saw them again; I was talking to them and I told them that I couldn’t really believe in them.  They apologized for scaring me and said they loved me.  They were a little hurt.  I told them that if they were real it was okay, but I couldn’t really believe them. 

Now, 35 years or so later, I know that these were my spirit wives, Steffany (Allejandra) and Genvieve.  What a horrible time that was for them, trying to contact me and scaring the hell out of me.  I was too afraid of life to function.  I have to wonder now what the problem was. 

 But it worked out eventually.  I’m getting pretty good at functioning in multiple worlds simultaneous.