Whee!  I’m writing again.  It’s very frightening because there is so much information on the web, and so much of it carrries a negative, fraudulent psychic wavelength with it . . . i don’t want to add to this emotional chaos.  But the world is ending anyway and also it’s a matter of slogging away, practicing for years with tedious crap like this until someday I write the Great Post-American novel.

My guru says there may actually be a big apocalyptic meltdown of civilization.  Now I don’t know ANY contemporary spiritual figure who doesn’t think this is possible.  It’s such a contradiction — everyone says the key to happiness is abundance and tranquility, but they also expect the Apocalypse any day now.  hardly anyone thinks humanity is worth saving anymore — except for fundamentalists who are gearing up to kill us all or imprison and torture us for supporting terrorism.  

I was just thinking the other day about those bogus “orange” alerts the government used to issue all the time, how they herded everyone like cattle to the 2nd Iraq war, and how that dumb “war” is still going on over there . . . on the other hand i was looking at photography books at Barnes and Noble — there’s a big one out called “aftermath” which is all images of NYC after 9-11.  the magnitude of it is staggering.  

i’m afraid of humanity.  i’m afraid because there are terrorist among us and there are fascists running a government with unlimited technological power to monitor and oppress.  the orwellian nightmare is here and i’m glad i’m 38 so i won’t have to see too much more of the future.  

i don’t trust human beings.  the “american experiment” is over and the results are in — we cannot govern ourselves collectively and furthermore we have proven ourselves unworthy of our freedoms.  

on my mind now is a novel about a writer who wants to write himself to death, somehow magically shift his energy on a quantum level into a higher plane because he’s sick of this world and human beings don’t have enough dignity or conscience anymore to make interesting characters . . . it would be a true story . . .