I’m working on developing my enthusiasm for being a human being again.  I really do need to resolve this love/hate thing I have with humanity.  I love a lot of the people who are around me — especially now that I’ve moved to Chicago from Grand Rapids.  But on the other hand I still see humanity as a failed experiment in self-determination.  Somehow I have to resolve my utter contempt for the world at large with this other part of myself, the real part, that has truly spiritual feelings.