I had a new insight playing Magic with (B.A.) last night, a more coherent presence of emotional bodies.  It was a bit of a healing of the disoriented void in the right side of my face.  This morning I felt a further liberation from the filth of Morton, Illinois.  That sentient beings should be asked to be loyal to a government as disgusting and amoral as that is absurd.

I still have difficulty accepting how much of the supposed “spirituality” of this planet is dependent upon being a responsible, bootlicking citizen of a giant pile of meaningless garbage, and upon wanting to have cocreative relationships with the ugly sordid half-assed twerps who want to see themselves reflected in its image.

The coven presence is very powerful, and is apparently helping me to locate myself from another dimension.

This morning I was “seeing” the “art” scene in Grand Rapids again, feeling even more deeply divorced from all of it.  I can still barely believe this is supposed to be serious.  But then I imagine some change will take place now.  I’m also seeing images of MHS, the degradation of having monsters like that destroying the lives of children, the trivial frippery of the Western School of Occultism and their pathetic nonsense about “obedience” and “duty” and “service”.  They can eat my shit.  Dicksucking fascists, all.  I said that last phrase aloud to myself as I stopped writing, then I went back and wrote it down.

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Aloneness.  I had my final session with [A therapist] and I am back here thinking about my life.  It can end, the twistedness can end but one of the great blocks is how disturbing and absurd the whole process is.  I am going to be able to articulate my rage against bow ties.

It seems like there were some people I was supposed to meet, or I thought there were some people I was supposed to meet, and I just didn’t, but I hung around the world for a long time looking for them.

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After tonight’s circle, I feel much more powerful, but I want the power to be clean, balanced, not causing any karmic ripples for me.

The story of this species is so repulsive, I don’t want to have anything to do with it.