I’m having an interesting experience this morning, as though the dark and light sides of my life are merging, the side that perceives spirit clearly and the side that feels all alone in the world and doomed. I’m allowing the doom but I don’t feel so bad because I perceive the spirit world relatively clearly. I’m not getting triggered, it’s all just a murky pointlessness in this world. I’ve been hearing the voices of my angels more clearly. They speak in complete sentences more and more often now. This has been an exceptionally long void-of-course for the moon. At 12:05 it ends when the moon enters Virgo, which is always the most fun, magical sign for the moon to be in for me. So I’m just going to dwell in murky darkness until 12:05 PM, and see what happens. Will my mood suddenly get better? Will this psychic quagmire get resolved? I’ll post back later tonight with results of my experiment.

I posted that on Facebook and already I’m in a very interesting turmoil. I’m continuing to write on my blog because part of the turmoil is about the boundary between public and private. I’m glad King Spa is opening tomorrow. Something’s “on” me and even though it’s scary because I feel like I have no future, there also seems to be some door opening that may lead me to the total immersion in higher worlds that I have always sought. Is there some presence here with me?

I know that even if I get killed, it’s worth it because it will end the confusion of my imagination. I was always just a person, I guess. I had some strange thing going on in my mind that made me think differently.

9:33 AM – I’m having hope that I can be a genuine person, that I can go back into the world after social distancing in one piece, instead of feeling cut off from reality has I have been for 25 years or so. I’m seeing in my mind’s eye all the strange images of the past that have been in some kind of alternate reality, and I’m accepting that there are things that did actually happen, but my interior story is not accurate, so some kind of inner space is “filling out” or “collapsing” – and yet it wasn’t a meaningless space. Something magical happened because of it, some change to the world was made.