Monthly Archives: July 2022

Literature

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[experiment]

“Fuck literary theory,” sneered Drake, “I want to write literature. Literature means respect for the past, for the creation of God, for the meaning of human experience and all the thousands of people god chose to say things that would carry forward the progress of the human race. Respect for literature means respect for history, for society itself. Now we just don’t have it anymore. There’s just Pynchon and Delillo left, and after that nothing. Academia killed canon and the publishing industry has killed everything that isn’t entertainment. I want to be an American writer. I don’t want to entertain people.”

“What do you want to do to people?” asked Chuck impatiently.

“I want to gouge out their eyes and skull-fuck them.”

Graylyn vs. Phyllis

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Graylyn: That sow Phyllis Schlafly is against sexual harassment laws because she says virtuous women will not be harassed. Do you have any idea how disgusting it is to be a woman in a country where a miserable piece of filth like that is being taken seriously? We’re responsible for the continuation of the species, but if human garbage like Phyllis Schlafly is in charge, what’s the point?

On the Phone With Alvin

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3 am, the phone rings, Drake picks up.

Alvin: Do you love me or not?

Drake: Where the fuck are you?

Alvin: Do you have any idea what I gave you by introducing you to Graylyn?

Graylyn (on the other line): Alvin, who are you with? Are you safe?

Alvin (crying): You don’t get it! You just don’t fucking get it!

Drake: Alvin, you tell me exactly where you are right now. I’m coming to get you.

Alvin: I don’t know. It’s a house, I think. I’m in the living room or the basement. Everyone’s making out.

Drake: How did you get there?

Alvin: I don’t remember.

Graylyn: What do you remember? Chuck, get ready to go.

Alvin: I was getting ready for the show. We were putting on makeup.

Drake: God damn it, that was five hours ago.

Alvin: What happened?

Drake: You showed up late. You tried to fuck everyone, and then you started screaming “I just want love!” You ran out into the street and no one could find you. Were you at the show?”