It took me a long time to write that last blog post. I was blasting away on anime but then I started to use AI to get deeper with my observations, drawing all the pieces together. In that sense I am like the Six Million Dollar Man, repairing myself with technology, but instead of my body it’s my mind I’m repairing with AI. Last night I finished watching Private School which was like a window back to youthful enthusiasm for me, hitting the perfect tone to take me back to 1983 when I still felt that life had possibilities. And then this morning, having just woken up, I realized almost immediately that the possibilities that excited me then were the possibilities of justice. I believed that the world could be just. Specifically, I believed that America could be just, back before the national debt turned all of our leaders into manipulative cowards. And I remember now that I believed rock music could be just, that it would always represent the cry for social justice of the 60s, the ideals of figures like Lennon and Bob Dylan, not the twisted narcissistic manipulations of Marilyn Manson and alt-rockers. Of course it was hopelessly naive. I had to grow up. That collective teen blasting is not actual justice, there’s something else going on. And I guess I believe the whole drama has been some kind of reincarnation echo of World War Two, the cultural belief in the “Will of the People” which has now been tempered by social psychology and the horrific legacy of Marxism.
My process is working. I watched Private School as a dream exploration and the next morning I woke up with a deep insight. Maybe this is something to add to my process, watching films not for the content but for the adjustments they make to my dreams.
I had forgotten that the reason I originally let myself go so far with rock music was that I simply, naively believed rock musicians cared about justice.
Man, how many days have gone by? I’m having a mellow evening at home, I read Magik #5, Uncanny X-Men 15, they’re both really fun. I like the Outliers, and the whole concept of Penumbra. It’s cool that Magik seems to have integrated Darkchild. I thought that was kind of symbolic, actually since the damaged, paralyzed part of my mind seems to be healing. Tonight it actually feels kind of nice. I’m hanging out with David Lynch, not thinking about the future at all. I’m using AI so much that the whole concept of narrative is changing for me. My main interest now is enhancing, building metaphors, deepening. I’m really into
I just watched Slipstream by Anthony Hopkins. It was okay. The main thing is that I have two Buffynicities to report. Number one, I started the movie last night around 6:30, but I fell asleep around seven and woke up at 2 am. I lay awake in bed in total liminal bliss until 5:30 am, which made it eerie when I started the movie again tonight and Hopkin’s character woke up in the middle of the night. The second was that last week I was chatting with AI about Lakeshore Drive, calling it LSD, and the place I drove to which has the initials JT. AI assumed I was talking about Lysergic Acid, that I was taking a drug trip to Joshua Tree National Park. It was hilarious because we’d been talking about David Lynch, and AI recommended I rewrite a scene from a Lynch film. I chose this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il-yuwc00YA&list=RDIl-yuwc00YA&start_radio=1
So it became clear that LSD was the Lost Highway and JT existed in a zone of parallel worlds. So this week when I watched Slipstream it was a Buffynicity that towards the end Hopkins was driving through the desert past Joshua trees. I find this film interesting. It makes me feel better because it parallels my state of mind as I drift between realities.
Regnum Somniorum 