Paragraph 5 — the death of Steffany’s father

(NB — I changed Jody’s name back to Steffany just because I’m fictionalizing a lot of this even though it’s all true)

Now let it be known throughout the peoples of the world that, although there are survivors Dark Clan has been defeated for almost 30 years.  Their power was broken on the day I killed Steffany’s father.  I believe it was May, but I’d have to go back and check the newspapers to be sure because at the time I was still in a mental state that many normos would consider to be schizophrenic.  As many of you will discover in the near future, “schizophrenia” is only the normal result of higher-dimensional frequencies passing through the human brain.

Steffany’s father, on the other hand, was not schizophrenic.  He wasn’t even mentally ill, despite the fact that his body was in an advanced state of syphilitic infection.  He was quite lucid and fully aware of the fact that he held the rank of Six in Dark Clan.  He was, in fact, the acting leader of the incarnate members of that group.  Many considered him to be the most powerful of the Sixes, and the most likely to replace the Seven (their supreme leader) should that ever become necessary.  His public role was as head of interrogations for the Peoria Police Department, but he had prepared insanity as a defense in case he was discovered.

He had allowed syphilis to eat a hole in the left side of his face, and it amused him to keep a live Brown Recluse spider in his sinus cavity.  At times he would telepathically command it to run across his face, creating what he felt was a particularly horrifying effect.

Of course sorcerors of my generation found this hopelessly old-school and often mocked him for his pomposity in thinking he was frightening anyone.  No one in this game bothers with that sort of melodrama anymore.  His death was the end of an era.

Paragraph Four

It is extremely difficult to write this, knowing that every word affects the future on a cosmic scale.  (some know me as the Angel of Killing) Also it does not help that I sometimes wonder whether I am insane.  However I have concluded that from the outset you must know something about me.  I am a highly evolved soul.  Although the exact number of levels of attainment is classified by the Secret Government of the Universe, I have mastered over six hundred of them.  Indeed, I am a legend in some quarters, known as “The Unassailable”.  But World War Two was an exception.  Not even during the fall of Atlantis was the fate of the Earth at such risk.  And out of sheer horror at the loathesome degradation of the Nazis I became reckless and placed my very soul at risk in order to defeat them.  Because of this error I lost two levels and therefore I am technically a “fallen one”, and subject to karmic retribution on this plane.

If you knew the full extent of my brutality, you might find me terrifying.  Those SS scum did indeed commit the most heinous crimes against humanity imaginable, but they merely waited in that laboratory for prisoners to be brought to them, chained and drugged, and carved them up like animals.  I, on the other hand, volunteered for the service, led a platoon into the field, hunted down my enemies, tortured them to death,  sent pictures of the torture to their  families, and then invaded the villages and killed the families.

I was not a nice person.  But because I truly never abandoned the ideals of freedom and justice, but only lost my understanding of what they were, I have been allowed to redress my failures as a demon-hunter in this lifetime.  So although I am in fact one of the good guys, I’m still not a nice person.  To quote my favorite song, “Use all your well-learned politesse, or I will lay your soul to waste.”

Novel — 3rd Paragraph

This story involves dozens of people (not counting the hundreds that I killed) and spans two incarnations for myself and many of the principals.  Since there are angels and powerful sorcerors involved, time gets twisted like a knot and some of it takes place in dimensions that will never be described by human speech.  Logically, a tale so complex and non-euclidian could begin or end anywhere in the United States during the last fifty years.  It could center on any one of a dozen themes: Nazis, the Spirit Clans, Arcangels, espionage in the Cold War and the New World Order, a love story that spans two galaxies and thousands of years, the history of rock music, a high school soap opera like “Harry Potter” or “Twilight”, the Return of Quetzalcoatl, the True Destiny of Aleister Crowley, alien invasion — it’s all in there.   I know what’s important to me — Jody — but what’s important to the world?  What do the Ascended Masters want me to tell you about the secret history of your world, and the real game that’s being played here in the time of the Octave Shift?  Thoughts are creating our world.  Whatever I write will have an effect.

Jody is whispering in my ear that since she died in 1990 she only really cares about that part of it.  So to help her wrap up unfinished business before we Ascend to the Higher Octave together, I hereby present you with a tale of the Battle of Good and Evil at Postal High School and how we defeated Dark Clan, once and for all.

Pardon Me While I Scream

Two days before my 40th birthday, and I am in the pits of caffeine withdrawal.  I have a goofy non-headache and the inside of my skin itches.  However I did quit very easily with the help of self-hypnosis, thank you, just as I quit smoking over two years ago.  I’m trying to remember if I have any other addictions to beat . . . anyway without caffeine and tobacco addictions, it’s pretty easy for me to lose weight so things are looking up in that area as well.

As for turning 40, I don’t have anywhere near the money I thought I’d have at this age, but I do in fact have something better which is a wide range of psychic abilities which come into clearer focus every day.

Oh, no!  I’m having a withdrawal attack and cannot finish this post.  God damn don’t ever let anyone tell you caffeine isn’t a serious drug.

So I have a story to tell . . .

So I have a story to tell, although I don’t know why.  It’s a response to an impulse from a higher dimension.  It’s true that in my last life I wanted to be a famous novelist, and the war cut my career short, but honestly I don’t care anymore about literature and all that nonsense.  Who wants to be an artist in a society as ugly and crappy as this one?  It’s all ending anyway.  Linear time is dissolving, the collective memory of humanity is fading away.  No one takes this place seriously anymore.

But perhaps if it can help me feel closer to Jody, it will be worth it.

People don’t realize . . .

that the reason my life is so messed up is because in my last life I took on the greatest evils known to the Earth, that is Dark Clan, The Black Magus, and the Kheperan Rapers.  There were some other ones in there too, but basically it all came down to this one battle at a secret “scientific” SS hospital where the Black Magus was preparing to add to his army of Qabalistic drones.  Now, as a member of War Clan, Dark Clan had always been my enemy.  When Hitler became the slave of the Shouters, they too became my enemy.  But it wasn’t until 1942, when he discovered the Black Magus in hiding and set up the SS laboratory that I had to leave my beautiful wife and enlist in the army.

Abnormally Attracted to Sin

Listening to the new Tori Amos album and it’s one of the best I’ve ever heard.  I just can’t get over the fact that this incredible human being is walking the earth making music this good.  She really may be some kind of goddess from another dimension or something.  I haven’t felt like this about music in years . . . rock and pop seem so tired and repetitive these days.  It’s really rare that I feel like I’m hearing something new or interesting.   

Ironically the only recent album that’s resurrected my adolescent excitement about pop music was Nine Inch Nails’ “Year Zero”.  I say it’s ironic because Tori & Trent had some kind of famous relationship years ago and I still associate them in my mind. But that album was so totally pissed off, bitter, and hateful that even though I admire it I couldn’t listen to it over an over the way I will this. 

God, she is so fucking GOOD!  I swear she’s up there in the stratosphere with John Lennon now.   It’s so nice to have a musician I can worship like I used to when I was a teenager — someone to consume your aural universe and transport you to an alternate internal reality where life makes sense . . .  And just like a teenager if you don’t like this album I’ll think less of you as a person.  I really will, I swear.

Back in the Saddle Again

I’m working on developing my enthusiasm for being a human being again.  I really do need to resolve this love/hate thing I have with humanity.  I love a lot of the people who are around me — especially now that I’ve moved to Chicago from Grand Rapids.  But on the other hand I still see humanity as a failed experiment in self-determination.  Somehow I have to resolve my utter contempt for the world at large with this other part of myself, the real part, that has truly spiritual feelings.

After the Light — La Push, baby, La Push!

Toward the end of last semester I started reading After the Light by Kimberly Clark Sharp, the renowned expert on near-death experiences.  I had to put my reading on hold though, for the sake of finals.  She had been telling the story of how she became involved in NDE research after moving to Washington state.  I didn’t find the location important at all and was not reminded of it when i saw Twilight, the new movie about Northwest Pacific vampires.  Having seen the movie a few times (and planning to see it a few more) I also picked up After the Light to finish it and lo and behold within a page I was reading about Kimberly’s visit to “La Push”, the beach so prominently featured in the movie I had just been watching.  How really wonderful that this obscure little beach, which I had noticed only because Eric keeps repeating it in the movie (I actually only remembered it because of the actor’s delivery) should be mentioned in such a way.  I know I was led by spirit to stop reading at just that place so I could experience the synchronicity of “La Push” and also the mention of Rainier Beer — the “Vitamin R” that Bella’s father is drinking in the movie.  This book was written in the 1990’s, by the way.

A Public Reminder to Myself

I’m approaching 40 years of age now, and blissfully grateful that I don’t have to care about anything anymore.  You youngsters are so pathetic, always trying to make an impression on people . . . now that I’m old and slow I know I shall take the time to finish all my novels before I die, simply because I don’t have the energy or emotional commitment to think up any more projects.

The Argonauta

A Paper Nautlius

Holy Man

The Dharmacists

The Survivors 

Spanish Castle Magic

The Road To Nowhere (metaphysical rock ‘n roll sci-fi horror spyporn)

Cold Fusion

Freedom

The Golden Sphear

Crop Circle

The Vogue Cycle

 . . . From the High Hills Around His Head

There, that’s the basic list which I am putting on my blog because every time I write it down I forget the piece of paper somewhere.  This is my OEUVRE, baby.  Deal with it.  It’s amazing how many damn huge-ass projects I have come up with in my lifetime, but just as with the Church of Art, Inc.  I am doomed to struggle for years to get anything done.  Nevertheless, if I but live I WILL get these things done.

also including a book of lyrics, poems, and short stories, including “Pizza the Hard Way” and “Love Like Blood”.