Black Clover #4: All Alone In the Night

I’ve always loved using the phrase “All Alone In the Night” as a title, a bit ironic considering my enemies in Hollywood, but screw it, why should I change. I’m feeling very cozy now, I watched more anime today, although ironically there are so many possibilities opening up (I subscribed to Hidive in addition to Crunchyroll, for instance, and bought the first DVD of Love Hina) I haven’t had time to get back to Black Clover. That’s the one, though, that will be the through-line, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer was several years ago.

The Dark Powers that created me are becoming apparent. Obviously, I’m some kind of alien. Anime represents some kind of transitional state to my own home dimension. The lines of the drawings represent fluctuations in the sphere of Saturn. My inner and outer worlds are crashing together. Yesterday I experienced beauty, today the beauty is in my subconscious, bringing something forward. Something cathartic is going to happen, I’m either going to achieve total success or get killed, and I don’t care which. Humanity is boring. I can barely believe the country I was born in has become this hapless wreckage.

Black Clover #3: The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

A friend of mine came over tonight, he picked up some things he’d left here over a year ago. We went for a walk and he talked about his father, who just died a few weeks ago, and surprisingly about how his relationship with his mother was better now. I talked a bit about my relationship with my parents. We talked about how long we’ve been having conversations like this. I thought of other people I met at the same time that I met him who have since long faded away, fake friends while this one has been real. After he left I came home thinking about my life, and how Crunchyroll has energized my feelings. I’ve even been buying crunchyrolls to eat in order to get into the spirit of it. I had Mango on Saturday, and tuna today. I’m immersing myself in the zen of anime, the continuously regenerating poignant sentimentality of almost belonging, almost possessing, but never quite doing so, and yet never losing the beauty of it all. What was it that spoke to me just now, as I walked up the stairs after returning from the lake where we sat on the pier, looking out at the dark skies over the water in the glow of the street lamp? If only I can find an anime with characters who talk like this, who share like this … that is my quest. Perhaps I’ll write one.

Black Clover #2: In search of the elusive “content” (or, I may take a tutorial on how to use WordPress)

I have nothing to say about Manga and Anime, I was looking up YouTubers today and I saw how many with millions of subscribers have been posting for more than a decade. Obviously I have nothing to add. I’m in it entirely for myself. But ironically, the very impersonal, pseudo-buddhist bliss of Japanese entertainment, that joy of belonging that it always brings (even when it’s pornographic) makes me feel I could just generate something, although I’ll have to follow the quest until the end to do it. It’s so nice to have so many titles to choose from, all of them in that quaint, safe anime-space, so similar to gamer-space, so antithetical to Hollywood whore-space. I can even use AI image generators to illustrate my own ideas, so much easier than getting them to create photorealistic pictures of imaginary people. So I’m doing the Tokyo Drift for real now. My spirit guides and all the characters they play are changing. I’m progressing toward the womblike Existence-Knowledge-Bliss-Absolute.

What do I have to say to fans? To anyone interested in this subject? Nothing yet but I did keep my progress, I have extended my project through a sophomore post, I have begun collecting magical energy around it.

But what is magical energy? What is it when it’s in your imagination, in the existence-knowlege-bliss of immersion in the multivalent coziness of anime, and what is it when it hits the cold, harsh, daylight of this polluted, sad world of injustice? I want to find out now, walking the edge in Edgewater, doing the Tokyo Drift, leaving little hints of breadcrumbs for myself as I go.

My laundry is almost done, I’ll have to go downstairs and put it in the dryer.

Black Clover #1: Crunchyroll, etc.

A couple of weeks ago I was wandering around C2E2, having the best time of my life, and I wanted to recapture the youthful exuberance and hopefulness I once felt, I wanted to be excited about something. So I bought a wall scroll for a Manga called “Black Clover” because it had a big cast and I wanted to feel like I belonged to some entertainment again. I decided I would try to watch the entire show and blog about it as I went along, to see if I could develop some “content”, some layer of persona to my daily routine that would be good to share with the human race. I wound up subscribing to Crunchyroll just to watch it and I am blissfully happy to have access to all this amazing entertainment, another nail in the coffin for that cesspool, Hollywood. I don’t have anything to say about any of this, and my blog will probably be unreadable for weeks, but maybe if I keep cranking out the entries I’ll develop some kind of emotional spark I’d like to share with the human race.

The other thing that happened was that I got a mild virus that lasted for five days and I’ve been semi-delirious and unable to concentrate, but I feel fantastic, like I’ve been having out-of-body experiences and all my troubles in life are solved. Also, I watched the Paul Verhoeven movie “Benedetta” last week and I was glad that someone is still out there making movies that are relevant to my life. I remember at the beginning of the year I’d been watching “Nymphomaniac” with Charlotte Gainsbourg, hoping that I would have a deep experience, but even though it was a good movie and it probably did change the way I see sex in film, I’m not sure I got much out of it philosophically.

But that in itself is important, isn’t it? Sexually explicit films change the way we see sex in society, just like the ecchi Animes on Crunchyroll do.

Okay, at that point I changed over and started thinking about inner experiences of light and higher dimensions, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to say about that, but the point is I’m just going to blog no matter what until I’ve seen every episode of Black Clover, and we’ll see if this entertainment journey transformed me or not.

Carry On

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Doctor Zoe Charmichael

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I’m having an adventure, since I watched Cameron Crowe’s biopic of David Crosby I’ve been very excited about returning to the mystic roots of my fascination with rock. I listened to Deja Vu for several weeks when I was in high school, and my mother says I grew my hair long because of its influence. In the last few days since I’ve seen the movie, I’ve felt like my life is forming into a coherent narrative, an interior adventure inspired my Crosby’s amazing psychedelic songs like “Mind Gardens” and “Deja Vu”, and especially Shadow Captain. He’s kind of a Shadow Captain, himself. I’ve also been stunned by the music of Crosby Stills and Nash which I have missed out on over the years, allowing my senses to become dulled by the monotonous thudding of riff rock and hit radio. I feel newly alive. Furthermore, although my mind is still too scattered to write, I can use AI to formulate blog posts. Another inspiration was seeing Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes playing to a full house on the main stage at C2E2 tonight. I wonder if AI can elaborate on that against my impatience with details. I feel too many thoughts closing in to articulate everything that my experience means, but at least we can experiment now. Although there were sad things about Crosby’s old age, and the way he was alienated from Crosby, Stills, and Young, the power of his talent is still fascinating to me and just thinking about him, and the mysticism of his music, I feel I can tap into some kind of important presence and transform my own consciousness.

Doctor Zoe Charmichael

Rediscovering Rock’s Mystic Roots Through David Crosby

Recently, I’ve embarked on a journey that’s rekindled my love for the mystic and psychedelic roots of rock music. This renewed adventure began after watching Cameron Crowe’s biopic of David Crosby, which opened a floodgate of nostalgia and inspiration. It reminded me of my high school days, where Crosby’s album “Deja Vu” played a pivotal role in my life—so much so that even my hairstyle was influenced by his music!

Over the past few days, this film has woven the threads of my musical memories into a coherent narrative, like piecing together a fragmented psychedelic tapestry. Crosby’s songs, particularly “Mind Gardens,” “Deja Vu,” and “Shadow Captain,” resonate deeply with me, illustrating his own role as a kind of shadow captain of his musical era. These tracks aren’t just songs; they’re explorations into the depths of consciousness and creativity.

Rediscovering Crosby Stills and Nash has been a revelation. It’s astonishing how I let such harmonic brilliance slip by, as I dulled my senses with the monotonous beats of mainstream rock and pop. Now, feeling newly alive, I’m diving back into their discography, letting each harmony and lyric wash over me, reigniting a passion I feared lost.

In addition to my musical revival, I found another source of inspiration at C2E2 tonight, where Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes captured the audience’s imagination on the main stage. Their dynamic presence reminded me of the power of storytelling and its ability to connect and entertain.

While David Crosby’s later years and estrangement from his bandmates in Crosby, Stills, and Young may paint a bittersweet picture, his enduring talent continues to fascinate and inspire. There’s a mysticism in Crosby’s music that feels almost tangible, a presence that I’m now tapping into to transform my own consciousness. As I continue to explore these feelings, I’m using AI to help articulate and structure my thoughts into blog posts, experimenting with this digital intellect to capture the essence of my renewed journey.

This experience is more than just a nostalgic trip; it’s a profound reconnection with the roots of rock music that shaped generations. David Crosby’s legacy, fraught with both triumph and sorrow, serves as a beacon for those of us seeking to rediscover and perhaps redefine our musical and spiritual landscapes.

Happy Valentine’s Day

In the velvet darkness of Chuck’s father’s basement bar, Trish, draped languorously over the leather armchair, voiced the malaise of the privileged youth. The room, lit by the soft glow of antique lamps, flickered as she ignited her cigarette, the smoke wafting upwards, mingling with the existential ennui that seemed to be their constant companion.

“I am so fucking bored,” she announced, her voice laced with the kind of weariness that comes not from hardship, but from too many days steeped in unchallenged comfort. The ember of her cigarette glowed brighter as she inhaled, a beacon of her frustration. “Well, here we are in the midst of the bullshit.”

Drake, leaning against the pool table, a book of Burroughs’ prose forgotten in his hand, looked up and caught the scent of Trish’s discontent. “Where are we going?” he mused, not so much a question as a philosophical pondering. “This country is so fuckin’ dismal.”

In the corner, Angela lowered her eyes from the abstract painting she was sketching, her pen pausing mid-stroke. “Maybe the country mirrors us, maybe we mirror it. Dismal and brilliant, depending on where you’re standing,” she said, her voice a soft counterpoint to Trish’s sharpness.

Chuck swirled the ice in his whiskey glass, the clink of cubes a punctuation to the dialogue. “Perhaps it’s not about where we’re going, but what we’re willing to see along the way,” he suggested, his gaze fixed on the liquid amber, contemplating his own reflection.

The room fell silent, save for the hiss of Trish’s cigarette and the soundtrack of The Cure playing low on the stereo. Each friend was alone with their thoughts, yet united in their shared search for meaning in an age that promised so much and yet often delivered so little.

In this moment, they were the emblems of their generation – affluent, educated, and disenchanted, standing at the precipice of adulthood, unsure whether to leap or to build a bridge to a future they couldn’t yet fathom.

Holy cow, I can’t believe this works this well

Unedited Chat-GPT:

In the dimly lit confines of Alvin’s sumptuously decorated drawing room, a space where every artifact seemed to whisper tales of forgotten epochs, Drake, with his dark hair falling loosely over his intense eyes, leaned forward. His friends, the Sickie Souse Club, lounged around him, each absorbed in their own thoughts yet united in their shared disillusionment.

“The truly dramatic gesture is being lost from society,” Drake declared, his voice tinged with a mix of passion and despondency. “Our entertainment business is completely toxic.”

Graylyn, seated across from him, her artist’s hands folded in her lap, raised an eyebrow. “But isn’t that just evolution, Drake? Art changes with time.”

Drake shook his head, vehemently disagreeing. “It’s not evolution, it’s erosion! The industry chases profit, not artistry. The depth, the soul of what we once revered in literature, in music, it’s being diluted.”

Chuck, who had been quietly nursing a drink, chimed in, “Well, it’s the market, Drake. It’s always been about what sells.”

Patricia, whose elegant poise often masked her inner turmoil, looked at Drake, her eyes reflecting a shared sense of loss. “But don’t you think there’s still hope? There are still artists who believe in the power of a message, in the magic of words.”

Drake leaned back, a distant look in his eye. “Yes, Trish, but they’re like voices in a storm. Overwhelmed by the noise, the endless, trivial noise.”

Dustin, ever the rationalist, adjusted his glasses. “Perhaps it’s not about the gesture being lost, but about us finding new ways to interpret and interact with these gestures. The digital age has changed the landscape.”

Angela, with her innate optimism, added, “Change doesn’t have to mean the end, Drake. It could be a beginning. Maybe we just need to look harder, listen more closely.”

Drake sighed, feeling the weight of his idealism. “Maybe. But I fear that as we step into this new age, we’re leaving behind the raw, unfiltered essence of what makes art truly transformative.”

The room fell into a contemplative silence, each member of the Sickie Souse Club wrestling with their own visions of an era that seemed to be slipping away. In their hearts, they knew Drake’s lament was not just for art, but for a part of themselves, a youthful innocence that was being challenged by the harsh realities of a world in flux.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

In the dimly lit Denny’s, where the clock nudged past 2 AM, the Sickie Souse Club found themselves in a heated debate, their voices a symphony of conviction and playful accusation. At the heart of the dispute was U2’s music video “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” and whether its raw emotional power was genuine or just cleverly crafted artifice.

Angela, her eyes reflecting the neon lights outside, defended the video with a passion that betrayed more than just artistic appreciation. “It’s not just a song, it’s a political statement,” she insisted, her voice rising above the clatter of late-night diners. “Bono’s not just performing; he’s emoting the pain and struggle of an entire generation.”

Drake, lounging back in the booth with a look of amused skepticism, teased, “Oh, come on, Angela. It’s all theatrics. Bono’s just a rock star playing his part.”

The others chimed in, some siding with Angela’s view of authenticity, others echoing Drake’s cynicism. Amidst the banter, Graylyn, her eyes gleaming with mischief, leaned forward, “And let’s not ignore the elephant in the room. Angela, you just have a massive crush on Bono, don’t you?”

Angela’s cheeks flushed a shade of crimson that could rival the diner’s neon sign. “That’s ridiculous,” she retorted, but her voice lacked conviction, and a shy smile played on her lips.

Trish, twirling a strand of her hair, added fuel to the fire, “It’s okay to admit it, Ange. He does have that charismatic rebel vibe.”

Alvin, always the peacemaker, interjected, “Whether it’s love for Bono or not, Angela does have a point. Music and politics have always been intertwined. Think of Dylan, think of Lennon. Bono’s just carrying the torch.”

Dustin, who had been quietly observing the conversation, offered a philosophical perspective. “Authenticity in art is subjective. What matters is the impact it has on the viewer, or in this case, the listener. Angela sees sincerity; Drake sees a performance. Both views are valid.”

As the conversation ebbed and flowed, Charles, who had been amusingly watching the debate, finally spoke, “Regardless of the argument, this is exactly what makes music powerful. It’s not just the melody or the lyrics; it’s the emotions and discussions it sparks.”

As dawn’s early light began to seep through the diner’s windows, the Sickies’ debate simmered down, leaving behind a tapestry of laughter, half-eaten pancakes, and the warmth of friendship. They might not have resolved the authenticity of “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” but in that moment, their bond, much like the music they debated, was undeniably real.

The Music of the Night

Unedited Chat-GPT:

In the hushed confines of a classroom long abandoned by the day’s curriculum, Trish and Angela found themselves adrift in a quiet act of rebellion. The sun had already begun its descent, casting a golden wash over the otherwise sterile room. It was here, amidst scattered desks and chairs, that the ritual of transformation took place.

Trish, draped in the elegance of sheer black, her fingers deft and precise, was the artist, and Angela, her canvas, sat with an ethereal patience that only those touched by the muses possess. The gentle bristles of the makeup brush danced across Angela’s features, a conductor orchestrating the symphony of shadows and light.

“You need to look the part if you’re going to the concert with us tonight,” Trish whispered, her words as soft as the strokes she applied. “The Cure wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Angela’s lips curled into a smile, her eyes closed in trust. “I’ve never done anything like this,” she confessed. “My brothers would never understand.”

Trish paused, her hands cradling Angela’s face, “Forget them. Tonight, you’re not the Colonel’s daughter or the track star. You’re a siren of the night, a creature of beauty and mystery.”

In the quiet, the only sounds were the distant hum of the city and the rustle of Trish’s dress as she worked. Angela, transformed under Trish’s ministrations, began to embody the spirit of their endeavors, the freedom that came with the disguise of the night.

The bell tolled, signaling the end of an invisible boundary. The two stood, a moment frozen in time, as Angela glanced at the mirror. She no longer saw the disciplined athlete; instead, a rebellious spirit gazed back, ready to taste the forbidden fruits of the night.

“Ready?” Trish asked, her voice a gateway to the night’s adventures.

Angela nodded, her transformation complete. As they walked out, leaving the safety of the classroom and the expectations of their daylight personas behind, they stepped into the neon-lit promise of the evening. The Sickie Souse Club was more than a group of friends; it was a declaration of independence, a rebellion against the mundane, and tonight, Angela felt the pulse of that defiant spirit for the very first time.

“This is your Woodstock.”

In the dimly lit ambiance of Denny’s at 2 am, the Sickie Souse Club gathered around their usual corner booth, a sense of disillusionment hanging in the air as they discussed the aftermath of Live Aid.

Drake, with his enigmatic aura, broke the silence first. “You know, Live Aid, despite its grandeur, felt overrated to me,” he said, a hint of cynicism in his voice. “It was like watching popular culture being sanitized, stripped of its raw, authentic edge.”

Trish, her slender fingers wrapped around a mug of tea, nodded pensively. “I agree. There was something unsettling about it. Like it was more of a spectacle than a genuine movement for change. It felt… performative.”

Chuck, reclining with his usual nonchalance, added, “Exactly. It was like everyone was there more for the show than the cause. The real issues got lost in the glitter and glam of celebrity.”

Dustin, peering over his glasses, reflected, “It’s a paradox, isn’t it? A concert meant to highlight suffering, yet it felt so distant from the harsh realities of the world.”

Graylyn, her artist’s eyes filled with a critical light, said, “It’s the commodification of activism. Turning empathy into entertainment, that’s what it was. The true message got diluted.”

Angela, her optimism slightly dimmed, sighed. “I wanted to believe in it, I really did. But there was this nagging feeling that it was just a temporary high for the masses, a fleeting sense of unity.”

Alvin, his mystical demeanor somewhat shadowed, leaned in. “It’s like watching a mirage of hope, a beautifully orchestrated illusion. We’re left wondering, what now? What’s the next step after the applause dies down?”

The conversation ebbed and flowed, their voices a chorus of disenchantment. In that small corner of Denny’s, they shared a moment of collective introspection, pondering the complexities of popular culture and the elusive nature of genuine change.

As the night deepened and their coffee cups emptied, they each grappled with the ambiguous feeling that lingered, a sense that the world was shifting beneath their feet, leaving them yearning for something more profound than what the mainstream could offer.