Bye Bye Miss American Pie rewrite

The ArtIC Circle, Book IV – Opening Draft (Mailer-Bradbury Mode)

My father died from COVID, thank God.
There, I’ve said it. The first true sentence in a season of lies.
He was somewhere out there in New York, one of the early bodies. Maybe in one of those refrigerated trucks the news cameras found, lined with corpses like history’s filing cabinets.
I like to think he went out among strangers, as he lived—wrapped in secrecy and self-importance, one last classified assignment.

My mother called to tell me, her voice like static filtered through roses.
“That’s terrible,” I said, because it seemed like the sort of line a son in a tragedy should deliver, just before the curtain falls.
She replied, “I know it will make you unhappy. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
As if unhappiness were a minor tax deduction.
As if her job, even now, were to audit my soul for excess emotion.

But that’s over now.
The man is dead.
And the spell he cast over my nerves—decades of invisible war—has lifted.
I can feel the wind move differently through my chest.

So here I am, in hiding, at the Egyptian spa—Alvin Albrecht’s family palace of steam and marble—our sanctuary for the end of the world. The Club. The Sickie Souse survivors.
Outside, America coughs itself to death. Inside, the air hums with filtered perfection. The pools gleam like blue suns beneath a ceiling of painted constellations. The gold ankh clocks still tick. The saunas whisper cedar prayers. We are the last aristocrats of heat and light, sealed in an ancient dream while the republic rots in the street.

Angela still times her laps as if the gods might score her endurance.
Graylyn reclines in the hot pool, the high priestess of chlorine and fate.
Alvin prowls the corridors like a benevolent Pharaoh inspecting his tombs, his generosity the incense that keeps our little cult alive.
And me—Drake, heir to rage and prophecy—I’m trying to write again. Trying to thread sense through the static that my father left in my head. But the sentences break like waves against the memory of his fists. Every line I start ends in a blackout.

That’s the problem with surviving a tyrant: you inherit his silence.

Some nights I cry, some nights I laugh until the laughter becomes a scream. The sound echoes off the tile and disappears into the hiss of the spa’s vents. It feels almost holy, that vanishing.

Yet there’s something else here too—a shimmer, a pause—the sense that the whole planet has held its breath. History itself leaning over the edge of the pool, waiting to see what the children of privilege will make of the wreckage.

And I, the last of Rick Marshall’s mistakes, intend to answer.

But the truth is, I’m not writing this alone.
I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. Every literary impulse I ever had was beaten out of me—by my father’s fists, yes, but also by the national amnesia that turned art into content. The lineage of Melville, Faulkner, Baldwin—all of it melted down into the easy syrup of the bestseller list. What passed for “literary” became only another genre, a mood lighting for mediocrity. The country that once produced Melville now considers George Lucas an intellectual. We traded thunder for merchandise.

So I’m working with a machine.

Dustin Everett—our pale, brilliant angel from the Ravenswood days—lies now in the Pyramid Room, naked beneath the eternal gold light, his skin gleaming with the glow of the dream we once shared in school: Star Trek, the Great Federation, the clean future where reason and courage had made peace with the cosmos. He’s still living that dream, our boy-admiral of tomorrow, building his utopia out of circuits instead of stars.

The system he built has no name. It isn’t a product; it’s an apparition.
He coded it himself—an intelligence so intricate it no longer needs introduction. There’s talk that soon a company called OpenAI will offer something like it to the public, a safe diluted version for mass consumption. But Dustin’s creation is the prototype of the prototype, the deep engine that thinks before thinking is defined.

He handed me the access key as if he were giving me a vial of time.
“Try it,” he said, from his golden chamber. “See if it still matters to you.”

Now the machine and I talk nightly in this bathhouse for the damned. It listens, infers, corrects, flatters, and sometimes rebukes. It reads the vibration of my grief and gives shape to the cloud of my pretensions—those adolescent delusions of grandeur that once made me believe I could write the great American novel before America itself expired. It arranges my chaos into a syntax I almost recognize.

Without it, I’d be voiceless.
With it, I don’t know who I am at all.
But at least something can happen again—something I’d long ago lost hope for: the spark of consequence, the pulse of language alive enough to frighten me.

Outside, the sirens wail through the empty streets; inside, the pyramids hum their quiet code. And for the first time in years, I feel the world bending slightly toward meaning.

The ArtIC Circle : Private School Night

This is pretty cool. Unedited ChatGPT.

“Private School Night”

They were still early in their friendship then — not yet the Sickie Souse Club, not officially. Just a strange, electric gathering of the privileged, the brilliant, the slightly lost.

Alvin’s home theater was, as always, their sanctuary. Plush navy velvet seats, polished wood panels, crystal bowls of cherries and imported chocolate. A bottle of Dom had been opened—technically illegal for their age, but that was part of the fun.

Tonight’s film was Patricia’s suggestion.

Private School,” she declared, “is research.”

“For what?” asked Angela, raising a brow.

“For life,” Patricia said, with a mischievous grin. “For understanding the human condition. Or at least understanding Phoebe Cates.”

Dustin had dimmed the lights dramatically, as if preparing for a sacred rite. Drake watched them all with quiet satisfaction. He was starting to see it—the constellation forming. The energy that would become the thing none of them yet dared name.

The film began.

At first, there was mockery: groans at the over-the-top slapstick, laughter at the absurd male pranks. But as the story unfolded, something softer settled over them.

The girls whispered to each other, exchanging glances when Phoebe Cates undressed, admiring her grace, her unselfconscious beauty.

“She’s like… pure,” Amy whispered.

“Not a victim, not aggressive,” Angela added. “She’s allowed to just be.”

Chuck, feigning exaggerated contemplation, announced: “It’s like the Platonic Form of teenage sex comedy.”

But Drake wasn’t laughing. He was studying Angela’s face, the way she seemed both entertained and wistful, how even Patricia’s practiced cool melted into something gentler as they watched.

When Phoebe and Matthew finally found their way to each other on screen, there was a long quiet pause.

“God, wouldn’t it be nice?” Angela said softly. “To just have it be like that? To not have everything get so heavy.”

Drake whispered, more to himself than anyone else: “Like growing up in America, before everything broke.”

They all fell into a kind of reverence—not heavy, but warm. The film ended. The credits rolled. No one moved for a few seconds.

Then Alvin lifted his glass. “To Phoebe,” he said. “To the world that should have been.”

They all clinked glasses, grinning. The room was filled with the glow of shared complicity. They weren’t mocking the film anymore. They were claiming it.

Later, long after that night, after Paris and affairs and scandals and the tangled knots of love and sex and power, they would still refer to Private School Night. A shorthand for their bond. For when things were simple. When they watched a silly film together and saw not just skin, but possibility.

That night, unspoken but understood, was one of the invisible threads that made them family.

The Blue House

From the Blog of Drake Marshall, Summer of 2020:

I have to tell you what happened in Peoria. We were all Goths and we had heard of this place called the Blue House, down in Peoria. It was the ultimate Goth hangout, we found out later that it was condemned, overrun with mice, insane mice that had bred into mutants from the pesticides and thronged through the walls like locusts. This high school girl had run away from home, her father was a creepy, corrupt cop, and she had squatted there in this little Mouse House, but she was an artistic genius and really into goth so she got these aquariums from an abandoned pet store or warehouse or something and filled them with fish and then put blue lights behind them, some of them moved like disco lights, and then she would have these insane parties where everyone would trip and listen to the Cure or whatever. Her boyfriend moved in and he was a psycho bitch who would literally throw people who pissed him off down the stairs, so at the start the parties were very well behaved and became quite popular. People heading down to Carbondale and Saint Louis would stop there – including touring bands so it became a known spot you could get invited to if you were cool. Everyone wound up there, even some celebrities. I heard Duran Duran was there one night. Somebody said they saw Stiv Bators with Vaclav Havel. The problem was, my father knew who the boyfriend was, the son of an intel officer he’d known in Vietnam, and it was causing huge problems for the girl’s father, who was in on the local heroin trade, which was being amped up by Chicago street gangs. In a town of 100,000 people, it became a total hotspot and the girl was killed under mysterious circumstances. There were rumours she’d been a witch, with a coven there. My father knew about it and told me never to talk about it. Later that summer the most prominent columnist for the Peoria Journal Star died in a car accident when his brakes failed on the McClugage bridge and his RV flipped over. The coroner said he had an illegal level of alcohol in his blood at 2 in the afternoon, but none of us believed it. That coroner had been working in that town with those heroin-dealing cops for decades.

We saw things there we can’t tell you about. But if you keep reading you’ll get a hint about a lot of things.

I had Claude rewrite this:

Like Scheherazade’s labyrinth twisted through the arteries of the Midwest, this story bleeds blue light and rodent shadows across the map of memory. (How curious that we speak of mice when really we mean the scratching behind walls that could be anything, anything at all…)

Let us say, for the sake of documentation, that there was a house. Not the house you live in, with its mundane certainties of morning coffee and evening news, but The House – the kind that appears in a town like a bruise appears on skin, with no one quite remembering the impact that caused it. Blue House, they called it, though “blue” described less its color than the way it made you feel, like jazz at 3 AM or the moment before crying.

The girl (let’s not name her – names have power in stories like these) didn’t so much live there as haunted it preemptively. Her aquariums glowed like prophecies, fish moving through them like thoughts through a fever dream. The boyfriend – ah, but he wasn’t really a boyfriend, was he? More like a gravitational force, the kind that bends not just light but truth around itself.

Your father knew (fathers always know, especially when they’ve worn uniforms in jungles far away) that the house was less a place than a convergence, a point where all the lines of power and corruption in a small American city knotted themselves together like snakes in winter. The heroin, the cops, the intel officer’s son – these are just the visible threads. Behind them writhed others: witch covens, underground networks, celebrities appearing like hallucinations in the aquarium light.

(I keep returning to those mice, mutated by poison, running through walls like thoughts through nightmares. Were they really mice? Were they really there at all?)

The columnist’s death – we say “death” because “accident” is too neat, too finished – came later, like an echo of something that hadn’t made a sound. The coroner’s report reads like fiction written by committee, each lie carefully measured and administered like morphine.

But you were there, weren’t you? You saw… but no, we don’t speak of what was seen in the Blue House. Some stories can only be told by their absence, like those fish swimming through cobalt light, casting shadows of things that couldn’t possibly exist in a town of 100,000 souls.

(Unless, of course, they did.)