I’m working my way through the workbook of "A Course in Miracles" this year.

According to the Course, the Holy Spirit’s second lesson is, "To have peace, teach peace to learn it."  So even though I don’t feel peaceful very often I am going to try in 2010 to somehow teach peace with my blog and my web presence in general.  I’m going to gradually revamp my entire image.  By the end of the year perhaps I will be able to practice what I preach.  Of course I shall never abandon my love of Aleister Crowley, action-movie bad girls, voodoo sex magic, and rock nostalgia, but I am now summoning from the universe some sort of balance point among all the conflicting elements.  

I’m taking a class in channeling from a professional of over 25 years and I am truly channeling Genvieve in front of people for the first time.  For a while (even since before I completely believed she was real) I’ve been able to channel her somewhat via the keyboard, chatting with Jer and Kathleen and others.  Years ago I did a bit of theatrical channeling of some other spirits, and of course there were those insane nights with Agent COCO that no one but God will ever know about, but this is the first time Genny has come through with such clarity and been fully verified by those with professional-quality auric vision.  I’m very gratified to have succeeded fully after 14 years of strenuous effort, plus three or four before that of struggling with Qabalism.

When i was in high school and everything in my life was thoroughly unpleasant and I was surrounded by unrelenting evil, Pink Floyd put out a song that went, 

"A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
there’s no sensation to compare with this
suspended animation in a state of bliss"

If only a dream could extend beyond sleep, I thought, then I could believe in love and put up with this ugly horrible species I belong to.  It would mean there were higher worlds that aren’t this bad, where the people aren’t so shallow and hateful.  It would mean that humanity’s continual failure to live up to its ideals could be forgiven just one more time.

Well, 20 years later I do indeed have dreams that are unthreatened by the morning light.  I see the future and learn about people at a distance.  I have my proof that there are higher worlds and what’s even better I never had to be normal — not once!  

So there is indeed peace to be found at the end of such a struggle, hovering above the roof of the night.