I got stalled in my studies of A Course in Miracles because it was too intense and had too many occult implications.  It’s difficult to place it in an occult context but I think it can be done.  At this time I am willing to accept that the "Ascended Master" Jesus (though I hear that they don’t like that term anymore) gave the raw information behind this document to its authors, although one must still allow for the usual inconsistencies and contradictions that seem to be inherent in channeled information.  

Unfortunately my mind (which I truly hope is the illusion that ACIM says it is, and which I truly pray the Holy Spirit will relieve me of) is full of antagonistic thoughts about the pathetically backward spiritual condition of the people around me.

I’ve spent my life around antagonistic people.  I love to watch action movies and horror movies which are all about people sucking each others’ blood and stuff.  I love rock music about being pissed off and ironic and lustful.  In some ways I feel as though to give up antagonism would be to give up being an American.  And that doesn’t even include the nagging memories of that long list of horrible people I’ve known personally.  

I suppose an important step towards peace would be acknowledging that although I am overjoyed with my life, although I am continually in a state of bliss and companionship with the spirit world, I am still often brought down by sheer disgust at many of the people around me, while at the same time indulging in a melodramatic lust for psychic warfare and the coming apocalypse.  Obviously it’s something I need to get over since I know from personal experience that all of life is Divinely Synchronized and there is some kind of plan for us to be following which involves forgiveness and light.

I’ve been studying the Faery Kingdoms for the last week.  I’m developing a theory that humanity has failed in its spiritual development because we have ignored these kingdoms and they are now plaguing us with diseases and disasters as a last resort.  I do believe that over the next hundred years we will probably experience a massive reduction in population due to warfare and a general loss of interest in being a human being.  

O God, how does a person teach peace when he believes that a war is coming which will annihilate much of our civilization?  

It’s too difficult to be clear about this now.  I can only record my feelings and hope for a solution to come.