I dreamt I was at the house of an elderly couple who had helped me make the transition to living in Chicago.  It was as though I’d met them when I first moved here, but now for some reason it was time to say goodbye.  We’d traded e-mail addresses.  I told the man I was grateful, joking that when I first moved here I thought everyone would have fangs or something (as it turns out only the cool Chicagoans have fangs, most of them are the same boring dumb jerks you find in any city).  He said "It’s all about what it comes down to" which could be some kind of alchemical reference but was basically small talk.  It was one of those awkward situations where you like someone but you don’t have much to say because you know you don’t have time to really relate.  I waved goodbye to his wife Rose who was in the back room with the laundry — she’d already said her goodbyes to me.  Then I turned and left.

Waking up I wonder if this dream isn’t about being incarnate.  I’ve been reading about Sirius lately, my channeling teacher works largely with energies from that Star.  Using Sirian energy seems to forge the heretofore missing link between many elements of my life.

For instance I’ve always been very uninterested in Ancient Egypt, considering it as an overrated cliche  — after all those people lived knee-deep in mud and shit. Though many rave about their "exoteric religion" their exoteric religion was a lot of fascist crap.  However I’ve always felt close to Sekhmet and Bast and I use the triangle of Isis, Osiris, and Nephthys as a magical lens for my relationship with my primary spirit guides.

NOW however that I’m focusing on Sirius the Egyptian connection is far more immediate and I’m willing to accept that I am indeed part of this cliche’d little cult of new-agers.  In fact I’m embracing it fully to the degree that I think this dream may have been about saying goodbye to the Earth, or to thoughts of myself as an earthling.  Not that I am having escapist fantasies about aliens relieving me of my responsibilities, but rather simply that I’m accepting that I’ll probably never relate to earth-life very deeply.  I’m grateful for the opportunity to do here whatever it is that I’ve done here, but all in all I really belong somewhere else.