Tag Archives: buffy the vampire

The Buffy Diaries 4-22-2017

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7:08 PM 4/21/2017  John’s circle is starting in a few minutes.  I just got home from day one of C2E2 and I feel so happy that I want to capture this moment, this feeling of realization.  So here I am capturing it.  I get a little more identity every time I go.  The confusion I feel about the supernatural forces in my life gets a little less.  The biggest question is, what do I say about the specific angels that I saw and what they were doing in my life?

Before I go down to the circle,

7:35 AM 4/22/2017 I stopped right there and went down and had a very focused channeling experience during the circle, and then afterwards I talked to a few people for a while and continued channeling in a more relaxed atmosphere.  I learned quite a bit.  I must say that after waiting for this weekend for months it has already proven to be everything I wanted.  I wish I had more time now to relay everything that happened yesterday but I am in a hurry to get down to McCormick Place in time for the Frank Miller/Stan Lee panel.  I don’t want to get shut out in case it fills up.  Would it fill up?  I’ll see, and it will be significant – the panel is such a big deal for me I worry that it might, but perhaps no one will care that much.  I mean there will surely be a lot of people but maybe it’s not the Comics Apocalypse I feel it to be.

I woke up yesterday a few minutes before the Moon sextiled Uranus, which was interesting.  I was lying in bed awake, anticipating the day as Mars moved into Gemini.  There’s so much going on it’s difficult to get a distinct feel for the shift but perhaps that’s part of it – the sense of activity all around.  I was drifting around, feeling pretty good about my day but a little tired as Venus squared Saturn and come to think of it, feeling excited but disappointed because you’re tired is a very Venus-Saturn square experience.

I didn’t watch Buffy because the Sun was too bright at the health club.  I listened to my old action-movie playlist instead, this time with “United” by Judas Priest in place for a big scene in Book IV.  I thought a lot about 2Pac all morning.

Just as with dreams, it’s only as I write these things down that the subtleties of the experience comes to light.

The Moon sextiled Saturn while I was on the train down.  Despite being a little later than I wanted, I was very pleased at how smoothly everything was going.  I used to get nervous about getting the most out of my day, and having everything I needed, but now I’m skating through the whole experience, and it is very grounding.  I’m definitely able to handle the energies associated with all the dream-interactions much better.

I’ve got to go now.  More tonight when I get home.

The Buffy Diaries 4-1-2017 part 1

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8:50 PM 3/31/2017  No Buffy tonight, I’m about to meditate and then watch the rest of “The Tempest”. 

3:55 AM 4/1/2017 I fell asleep after I meditated.  I left that little snippet above just to … well, the powers that be aren’t going to let me write anything, anyway, so I may as well go back to sleep knowing that I am free in my cocreations. (Note: This was totally sarcastic).

10:17 AM 4/1/2017  That was an interesting morning.  I woke up around two and couldn’t sleep.  I wandered around feeling crazy.  Now I’m working on the channeling state.  The spirit presence is pretty strong.

I was getting ready to go meditate when the Moon in Gemini sextiled the Sun in Aries.  I was a little spacey but I did make it to mediation on time.  I’ve been brooding over a lot of heavy metal, looking up Ronnie James Dio on the web, the history of Black Sabbath, and all that.  I’m finally starting to “get” Iron Maiden.  There are some interesting effects in the music of Iron Maiden having to do with time.  

1:46 PM 4/1/2017 Even though I’m feeling very definite about my experiences of angels and higher worlds, it’s difficult for me to get across the barrier of inertia to write them down.  I think Moon in Gemini and Mercury in Taurus are conspiring to make me feel heavy and dull without the energy to do anything.  Gemini is really the laziest Moon for me but I want to counteract it.  I’m going to leave all the “snippets” and false starts above just to prove to myself that I can accomplish something.

After all these years of thinking I should give heavy metal a shot I’m finding I genuinely love the Judas Priest album “Nostradamus”.  I’m also very fond of the song “Touch of Evil” from “Painkiller”.  There’s something very soothing about this type of metal now, like a journey back in time to a probable universe I missed out on.  What would it had been like if I’d listened to metal all those years ago?  “Neon Knights” by Black Sabbath is also a new favorite. 

There are other sounds I’ve always wanted to explore that I’m getting on Google Play, like Chris De Burgh, Bo Diddley, and Patti Smith.  I keep flashing back on the late 80s and how messed up my mind was by music back then.  Angels are bringing me some kind of healing. 

2:19 PM 4/1/2017 I’m on the boundary line between two worlds.  I’m so tired of wandering in daydreams; I’m pushing forward, bringing some substance or energy forth.  At the same time I’m cutting across old psychic entanglements.

Friday morning, moon still VOC I was rocking out to Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, really excited about using music services to stream lots of old metal bands and discover the secrets of the Mars/Saturn conjunction.

I saw a Facebook ad for someone who wants an announcer for an interenet show about magick and I thought of applying.  Almost immediately I remembered that the moon was VOC so I put my plans on hold.  I was wondering whether my impulse to do Enochian last night was also a VOC delusion.  As it turns out, now that Luna has shifted to Gemini I am still thinking of Enochian but the radio show doesn’t seem as interesting.  However, there is some new kind of “public identity” that is coming out of all this.  My perceptions of music and popular culture are changing with my new attitude toward heavy metal.  Suddenly I seem to be “getting it” and also understanding some other things – not all of them pleasant – about the changes in society that have disturbed me for so long, the rise of totalitarianism and what I perceive as the loss of conscience.   

I realized that I missed a Buffynicity on Thursday:  the demon was using a scorpion to suck Buffy’s soul, and Mafdet kills scorpions. 

Then I had another spectacular one.  The demon’s had glowing green eyes, and when I saw them I was especially interested, looking for a Buffynicity.  The next morning I found one, I was looking up the lyrics to Iron Maiden’s “Powerslave”, a song I was introduced to by my evil first fiancee who so resembled the character Faith.  In the first verse:

Into the abyss I’ll fall-the eye of Horus
 Into the eyes of the night-watching me go
 Green is the cat’s eye that glows-in this temple
 Enter the risen Osiris-risen again.

So that’s two references to Egypt – even down to the fact that Mafdet is a cat goddess.

So my interest in metal is growing along with the movement of Mercury into Taurus. 

Luna sextiled Venus and I was feeling pretty good about the upcoming weekend, pretty caught up with work and feeling propelled by all this wonderful new music.  Then I got into a really stupid web argument with an atheist troll on the facebook page of an event a friend of mine is doing about past lives.  I tried to be polite but he was very insulting.  I went back and forth with him a couple of times and then blocked the whole thing.  But as I did my usual Friday night thing I was thinking about how I don’t want to be involved with the public at all – possibly this was a lesson that I drew to myself after considering applying to host the web radio show in the morning.  Thinking about doing public events just reminds me of the disgusting, cold machiavellianism of all media business, especially the entertainment business, which of course I’m thinking about now, reassessing metal and its influence.

I kind of feel the ghost of William S. Burroughs tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me that he coined the phrase “heavy metal” in his novel, Naked Lunch.  Very appropriate.

That was a slightly unpleasant experience, but it really emphasized some psychic boundaries for me and made me feel more focused than ever.  My angels are coming through better than ever and I think I’m finally getting answers to questions I’ve had for years, but I’m going to write about them later tonight.  Now I feel I’ve caught up with my weekend.

Only one more thing to point out, which is that I was wide awake from 2 am, kind of frustrated that I couldn’t sleep.  I was feeling good at the Moon/Sun sextile and my meditation ended around the time of the Moon/Neptune square, when I was beginning to feel a lot more content that I could reconcile what I perceive to be the differences between Sahaj Marg and western occultism.

That was a very good time and I’m wondering now how far ahead the Moon/Neptune square was affecting me.  Could it have had something to do with me waking up at 2 am?  I’m going to look that up on the web a bit.  It was certainly a Neptunian time to be awake that early in the morning, listening to trippy metal albums.

More to come tonight in part 2.