10:26 PM 1/10/2018
Six days since I last posted and I am tearing myself away from Poser to force myself to write this. The two modes of consciousness are merging, and it’s very productive but also very scary. As I create the computerized images, I am bringing down all my fantasies about movies and comics and famous people. I have all the equipment necessary to produce a credible comic book version of my heptalogy without too much effort. Nothing now stands between me and what I want – except the conspiracy of reincarnated Nazis, of course.
2018 is going to be the most magical year of my life. Everything so far is positively *fraught* with magic, *dripping* with ectoplasm.
So I watched “The Cage”, the original pilot of Star Trek.
Buffynicity #1: The three females offered to Pike are in analogous relationship to my three angels, so much so that I now believe I “remember” them hovering around me when I first watched scenes from that as a child.
And then I went on to restart “Sense8”.
I reallly want to hump Jamie Clayton, but don’t tell anyone.
So now instead of recording Buffynicities I am once more reaching into darkness, as I have not done since I lived in the Black Hole of West Michigan, aka Grand Rapids. This time, though, I have a target. I feel like I’m really “becoming who I am” or some other bullshit like that.
10:51 PM 1/10/2018 I got overwhelmed by impressions that I might record, and wound up gazing adoringly at the three pictures I have posted to Renderosity. I used to gaze at some other pictures on my old website, “The Palace of Wisdom”, but now I’m making my own and it’s glorious how the old chaos is returning to my fingertips as I type.
Buffynicity #2: A couple of weeks ago I decided that the book I most needed to read in all the world was “Jerusalem” by Alan Moore. I took it off my bookshelf and placed it on the floor beside my bed. Within two weeks Donald “President Gumpy” Trump had declared Jerusalem the capitol of Israel and possibly doomed the earth to a third world war.
But I have too many impressions to record, which is why I’m probably insane, so I’m going to stick to Crone-ology to keep things going.
Friday the 5th, Moon opposed Neptune late in the evening and I could feel it. The Moon’s relationship to Neptune is getting pretty familiar to me. I feel hollow and unrelated, lost in my own little world. I did all my usual rounds, though. I feel very cold this winter. Donald Trump is killing the last of America and there is no dream left. No more Buffy, I had to move on to “The Cage”. I did meditated. There’s not a lot to report because oppositions with Neptune suck ass and leave me feeling uninvolved with life.
Saturday the 6th was more fun. I stayed up late on Friday so I slept in Saturday morning, but in the evening I was up an about. Mercury trining Uranus brought a matter-of-fact sense, a kind of comforting alienation. I’m just a magical being and I don’t care if the world ever accepts me. I wasn’t seeing a whole lot, but I was feeling very confident that I am the type of person who sees things and I don’t have to feel obligated to them what do not. Let them go on with their ordinariness, it’s none of my business. Also I was working on the Poser Manual, and trying to make myself watch this DVD of Geronimo that I have. I went off into a strange reverie about Geronimo’s magical powers and the meaning of legendary figures of the old West in the American shamanic dreamtime. It’s not a pretty thing to contemplate, though – this country has really failed completely to live up to what it was supposed to be.
Mars conjunct Jupter was related to the Mercury transit. I had a sense of personal force, unrestricted, like “this is the life I chose and there’s nothing else to say about it”. I got the spiritual experience I wanted. I’m really that which I wished to be, even if this world is so tragically stupid that they’ll never get how important it is. Moon inconjunct Uranus and square Mercury, opposing Chiron, with Mercury squaring Chiron – all fit together perfectly in the sense that I attended a magic ritual and I felt at the same time like I belonged there completely, but that I was also never really going to share any of my experiences there with anyone. Somehow I was accepted and isolated, open and secretive at the same time. I had gotten the knowledge I wanted by participating, but the knowledge brought me a sense of my own personal destiny. I knew what I was, but at the same time I accepted that it was never going to matter to anyone. On the other hand, I could congratulate myself for having completed some kind of transformation.
I got more immersed than ever in past lives. All the Uranus/Mercury action revealed itself in my third posted image on Renderosity – I had been working on it all day Saturday and “just knew” I was supposed to put it up. I can see now that if I go into a creative trance, sometimes an angel or two can help me produce something worth showing to the public.
Not much in the way of transits on Sunday the 7th, ironically since I had a fantastic dream circle. I talked a lot about the picture I posted, and also worked with some people I’ve been seeing at the circle for years. They reaffirmed that I’ve come a long way and I know I’m moving toward a deeper channeling all the time.
I’m going to post this and then move on to the last three days.