1:45 AM 2/28/2018 Once again I’m surprised at how long it’s been since I’ve kept up with this blog. Tonight I’m having a very productive confrontation with the dark shadow that bothers me. I can see the ghosts of my wretched, evil grandparents and sense the astral doubles of my empty, sad family lurking all around. I’m on the verge of understanding their evil, I think, and the astral presence of it.
Today the Moon inconjuncted Saturn in the morning, and it was very evident by the hassles I was getting at work as we tried to put some new policies in place and everyone was making awkward demands on my time. The Moon inconjunct the Sun was a similar influence. I didn’t feel too bad about the hassles, but they made it necessary that I change some comfortable habits. Then I came home and had an interesting phone conversation and fell asleep early, before the Moon inconjuncted Neptune. It was a strangely disappointing day that I knew at the time was a “focusing”, stripping away delusions so I can see the dark machinery underlying so much of what I’ve experienced in this lifetime.
Monday at work we put these new procedures in place, related somewhat to the Moon opposing Pluto. I had to change some aspects of the way I approach my job and I was also feeling more identified with it than ever. The nebulous sense of infinite possiblities for the future I’ve always had is narrowing down. I’m accepting (after all these years) the simplicity of my environment, which is a good thing – it’s very closely related to the spectacular power of the psychic energies I’m tapping into, and the brilliant white lights of the spirit world I’m seeing.
But I also had no forward momentum, just drifting around in my work environment not feeling like anything or feeling like being anything. As the day went on and the Moon trined Jupiter I began picking up momentum. I found some awesome 3D stuff for sale and as I listened to the theme song from “The Rockford Files” I began to relive some past energies of enthusiasm, with a new insight as to the process I’ve been through since I first heard that song 45 years ago. I’m beginning to see how this crazy life I’ve led fits into the cosmic laws I’ve read so much about.
The Moon squared Uranus in the afternoon and went VOC. I was shopping and taking care of important business. It all went really well and I can’t exactly remember what the Uranus transit brought. But the Lunar trine with Chiron was very nice as I took care of some long-standing business, some things I’ve been putting off for more than a year, and took some steps to make a final break with my past in Grand Rapids.
The Moon in Cancer was validated in that on Saturday night I made plans to call a woman who is a Cancer and thought about it for several days. I was also feeling very Cancerian in that my life seemed very familiar and under control but a little cold at the same time. I could see from the reflection of this Cancer woman’s psychic imprint a lot of things about my mother – and also this had something to do with listening to “The Rockford Files” over an over, hearkening back to the original Cancerian, cardinal origins of the “stream” of my dream life.
Sunday the Moon opposed Saturn and the Sun sextiled it. I wasn’t very rushed for time, strangely, but I do have this big deal coming up next week and I was thinking all about money and massive changes in my life that are taking place. The underlying darkness is being revealed. But strangely I felt like I had plenty of time.
The Moon trined Neptune and Mercury during the dreaming circle and this was accompanied by spectacularly brilliant and piercing light from the spirit world which made me feel fantastic and very confident in my higher contact. The doors are opening and the long-term mysteries of some of my experiences are being resolved. This is very evident in the darkness I can feel tonight, the sense of the mysteries of my fate being resolved and my new understanding of the ugly, horrifying reincarnated Nazis I’ve had to deal with in this life.
2:07 AM 2/28/2018 Interestingly, I just now checked my e-mail and saw that a figure I was looking at two days ago, the “Dreamy Dress” for V4, just now went on sale. Some materials for it had been on sale and I bought them because they were so magical, even if I found the dress they were for too expensive given the other things I wanted. But just now it went on sale. That’s kind of a telepathic hit.
The dress is interesting because it can be made to look like flames covering a woman’s body and that shows me that my alchemical operations with 3D are on track. Especially since I was just doing a picture with an “anvil”, and thinking about the symbolism of the anvil, the forge, and the meaning of society.
This reminds me that I had the first major dream I’ve had in a long time, the first memorable one which I wrote down, on Saturday morning and at the circle John validated that there were four or five planets in Pisces and everyone was having amazing dreams.
So Saturday morning I woke up from this cool dream just after the Moon inconjuncted Pluto. It was a dream about sex and water and movies. I skipped meditation and as the Moon inconjuncted Jupiter I was working on 3D. I wish I could remember what was going on as the Moon sextiled Uranus. Something unexpected did happen that evening, I wound up talking to someone I didn’t expect to talk to. Also I made a trip down to Edgewater, my first in weeks. I felt really great in Edgewater, very validated for my months or possibly years of going down there every Sunday, but at the same time I could feel I’ve grown beyond it. It’s not a regular trip for me anymore and I cut my last ties with it.
That was related to the Moon squaring Chiron, I think, the nostalgia for the healing of all I went through down there, but also the sense of letting go because I have indeed been healed and I don’t need to be there, although it’s bittersweet because I enjoyed it. The daydreams I savored there are collapsing into a more pointed focus.
Then I had an unexpectedly cool evening as I attended a ritual and made an appointment to talk to a Cancerian woman on the phone even as the Moon entered Cancer and I began gathering emotional energies to make the leap through my best Lunar arc again. I’m definitely getting some good insights into Cancer, my mother, and the Angel that brought me to this world.
Friday did indeed validate the day of lunar squares, Mercury, Neptune, and Venus. The Neptune and Venus squares were probably related to the vivid dream I had that night. In general I’d made plans for new procedures at work to take effect Monday morning so there was a sense of detachment, waiting for the new beginning. I ate too much at lunch. I ordered a novelty item and it filled me up and made me uncomfortable. I did some shopping on the way home and got rid of a board game, “Castle Ravenloft” which has been sitting in my car for weeks. I saw some cool ideas for things to get at Michaels.
Right now, as I write I’m struggling a bit, I want to go back and meditate on all I’ve been through, so I can get deeper into it. In general there’s a current of the past resurfacing as I hear “The Rockford Files” in my head and think back on my disgusting, empty family, and see the shadows they bring ever more clearly in my mind.
I’ve been through something insanely weird in my life but for better or worse I’m getting some good answers. I feel my self is being restored. There are a lot of aspects coming today as we approach the full moon. I’m excited to see what happens. After a very long time of experiences that were more “psychological”, I’m starting to have extremely vivid energetic experiences.