11:18 PM 1/26/2018

Catching up on things again. 

Buffynicity #1: I was thinking of Don Maclean, the singer of “American Pie” the other day.  Specifically I was thinking of the movie he made about rock stars back in the 1970s.  Then that afternoon I got an e-mail announcing that he’s playing a show here in Chicago.

Buffynicity #2: 

10:22 PM 1/29/2018  I’ve really got to get back into the narrative, here.  I feel pretty good but I’m in outer space.  I have five people to write to and I’m not doing it. 

Buffynicity #2 was amazing.  Last Thursday I woke up and everything was difficult.  For instance, my cutting board got caught in the kitchen drawer and I made myself late for work trying to get it out.  Then when I got to the “El” station my Ventra card was not where it usually was in my wallet.  I dug a little deeper and found an old one, but it didn’t work.  I finally found it in an unusual pocket and managed to get on a train, but then a voice came over the loudspeakers reminding passengers that their Ventra cards would expire soon and to get them renewed.  To hear that announcement for the first time this year on the day I briefly “lost” my Ventra card and found an old one I had forgotten was in my wallet, was a very complex validation of synchronicity.

Unfortunately I’ve been in such a daze for the last week that I am way out of my narrative and I’ve forgotten very many other Buffynicities, although I have had a few with “Sense8”.  I’m on episode 6 of that show now.

Buffynicity #3:  There’s all kinds of stuff about parents in the last epidsode I watched, and my parents came to visit this weekend.

Wednesday the Moon entered Taurus, bringing the usual lethargy and a sense also of burdensome obligation as I have a lot of demands on my time, like laundry and taking out the recycling and such, and I am not keeping up very well.  Mercury conjunct Pluto in the afternoon was related to my recent successes with 3D, and some deep insights I’m getting into what to do with it.  The Moon squaring the Sun and Venus in the evening brought a sense of not being able to get comfortable anywhere.  There are big changes happening but I can’t control them so they’re a little uncomfortable.

I had my big “Ventra” Buffynicity on Thursday, and in general the day went smoothly.  They left me a bunch of tasks down there but I took care of them.  In the evening the Moon trined Pluto, once again a Pluto transit on my day downtown.  It also trined Mercury and opposed Jupiter.  I felt pretty secure in myself but totally at odds with the world around me, like the spirit world is getting me ready for takeoff, some kind of total escape from who I’ve been in this world. 

Mars entered Sagittarius on Friday, which I think explains my total lack of ability to focus.  And yet I have this warm, fuzzy feeling about everything and I don’t care what happens.  The Moon entered Gemini, which also contributes to total flakiness so I had no serious thoughts but just messed around.  Moon opposing Mars also contributed to this total scattering of energies.  I met with my parents and we had dinner and then went to see “The Last of the Jedi”, which was pretty amazing.  Moon inconjuncted Saturn during that time.  I think it might have been related to how long that movie seemed to go on for me.  It was like it ended and then went on for another 45 minutes. 

I went home and fell asleep. 

Moon was squaring Neptune in the morning as I got up and prepared to meet my parents again, so I dawdled around and was still getting ready when they arrived.  Then there was some hassle as I wanted to stop by the Library but forgot my books.

Buffynicity #4:  I had videos overdue at the library on the 23rd, but I didn’t get an e-mail until Friday night. I intended to stop by there with my parents on Saturday morning, but completely forgot until my father spontaneously asked me if I ever got to the library anymore.  I went back and got my books and this was a powerful validation that these visits are governed telepathically.

No tranists all day while I was at the Museum of Science and Industry until the evening when the Moon inconjuncted Pluto and Jupiter while I was at a ritual.  I was still feeling totally out of sorts, like I was only part way in the world and never coming all the way back.  I went home and fell asleep.  In the morning I woke up to meditate, but then fell right back to sleep and wound up sleeping for another 19 hours, only getting up to go to work this morning.

Moon trining Neptune brought good news, a really fantastic sale at Renderosity, and also the Dionsyian theater I’ve had my eye on at Daz3D for a few weeks went on sale.  I made some amazingly powerful pictures last week and I am getting more and more skilled at working magic this way, which feels exhilarating but at the same time like it’s taking me into totally unfamiliar territory. The Moon incojuncted Venus and I felt totally lost in the world but at the same time like I was being carried away into something much better.

I got home and I thought I was going to catch up on the tasks I’ve been putting off for a week but I wound up working on 3d all evening, looking up at 9:30 to find I’d missed my chance to work out or even to do laundry.  Catching up with my blog now is my last effort to actually get something done tonight.  Moon is opposing Pluto and I find this alienation from all my tasks related to the collective validates the transit completely. 

Then the Moon trined Jupiter as I finally got in gear and caught up with my life, so I feel this transit is validated as well.

Tomorrow the Moon opposes Mercury but also enters Leo, which is the start of my best arc of the lunar month.  I wonder how that mix will turn out?  It could be like a full moon.  Moon trining Mars will bring energy I’m sure, and I’ll be back on track.

All in all I can see how astrological influences added up to this last few days of a strange contentment even while I feel like crap and don’t get anything done.  And I’m encouraged to see how the aspects for tomorrow are much better for accomplishing things.  I feel I’m back in my narrative.

11:03 PM 1/23/2018  I let myself get way behind on my blog again, mostly due to 3D, but at least I got a cool new image done.  I wish I could remember back to last Wednesday.  Mars inconjunct Uranus brought something, Venus entering Aquarius as well.  I’m in too much of a rush to go over it so I’ll just leave placeholders.  Although Venus in Aquarius is much more peaceful, and I feel better adjusted to the world – even hopeful, especially as I make progress with 3D. 
Thursday Mars trining Chiron at lunchtime was pleasant enough downtown.  I’ve made a big breakthrough in terms of the daydreams that haunt me – I feel like I’m leaving the sphere of the Earth.  It’s not as important for me now and there’s some other identity that I have elsewhere in the cosmos that I can return to.  The Mars aspect was that it’s okay to be pissed off and disappointed in this rotten world, and I can just go somewhere else.  In the evening I came home and fell asleep, and then I went to Brian’s astrology salon and got a lot of insights.  I channeled a bit about what a total disaster this world is, and picked up a new reading client.

Friday went pretty smoothly.  The Moon entered Pisces in the afternoon, which always makes me lazy and apathetic.  Mercury was sextiling Neptune in the evening which made me feel very psychically alert and grounded.  My drive home was very pleasant as I looked back over all the other Friday homeward commutes I’ve conducted, and saw the improved psychic quality of my inner dialogue.  The fact that I’m even remembering to write this shows that my awareness is shifting – the different states are getting grounded, and this has a lot to do with 3D, which is a ver psychic process for me.

The Sun entered Aquarius later in the evening and I have felt the change dramatically – I feel very in control of life and I am taking a very businesslike approach.  I’m bringing forces into play and getting amazing insights about the types of things I might do in this world.  The Moon sextiling Saturn was a kind of acceptance of limitation related to productivity.  Once again I felt that I’m happy to have this be my life.  I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything except expand my perceptions.

I had two readings on Saturday afternoon and I made a ton of money as the Moon conjuncted Neptune.  It wasn’t too hard to see the validation of that transit.  I still have a lot to think about concerning what I achieved in those readings.  I’m hitting a new level with it.  Moon sextiling Mercury was also validated in the ease with which I translated information.

Sunday I spent at King Spa and had a fantastic time.  Moon conjuncted Chiron and trined Mars.  I felt these in the healing of my inner senses.  I’m still turning over those events in my mind but I felt the transits in the sense that I feel I’m emerging from chaos at last, after decades of being lost in it.  Mars is giving me the directing force.  I know what I need.  I’m not worried so much about how I got this way (the Chiron healing in effect), but instead I’m just forgetting it and moving on to much more exciting psychic layers of awareness.  That story of wandering in daydreams is ending.  I’m getting hard psi information now.

Moon entered Aries in the evening.  I felt like I was starting a new life with the new year.  With the validation of two full-length readings conducted the day before, I now see myself as an intuitive, and not just someone who wonders about his intuition.

11:18 PM 1/23/2018 I’m going to bed now.  I’ll catch up with yesterday and today tomorrow night.  “Gentlemen Take Polaroids” is going through my head for some reason.  I’m on episode #3 of “Sense8”.

Buffynicity #1:  Last night I posted a picture of an angel with gray hair that hung over one shoulder and then tonight at the grocery store I wound up standing near the entrance next to a woman with a similar hairstyle and color.

7:24 PM 1/16/2018

I don’t think I’ve worked out or watched a video in several days.  I had a lot of other things going on.  For instance, i went down to Edgewater on Sunday and ate at one of the worst restaurants in the world, and I got sick so yesterday I staggered through my day at work and then took Nyquil when I got home.  Then I slept in a couple of extra hours this morning.  Now I feel pretty good.  I’ve got some great stuff downloading from Daz3D as I speak.  After that I’ve also got some cool stuff from Renderosity to install.  My last picture really rocked my world and I’m very enthusiastic about making real magic.  I found this great Greek amphitheatre on Daz that I’m going to buy on Friday which may be one of my main settings from now on. 

I’ve forgotten most of what happened.  Without Buffy to remind me what’s going on I’m drifitng a little.  2018 feels as though it’s going to be an exciting year, however. 

On Thursday I was working downtown, getting some things done.  I barely remember what the Moon sextiling the Sun and Venus meant, except it all went fairly smoothly.  Moon inconjunct Uranus in the afternoon probably had some pretty good sales on Renderosity and Daz3D as I’ve been picking up some amazing stuff there.  And I do remember a big, unexpected computer hangup in the afternoon, trying to get some files processed that wouldn’t work right, so I believe that validates that minor transit.  I do remember my mood as the Moon trined Chiron, and now that I think about it I didn’t get out of there until much later than I expected, forgetting things and wandering around the building – I went to McDonald’s and then realized I’d left something undone and so yes, all that forgetting and aimless wandering does amount to an unexpected Uranus-related event.  The trine with Chiron right afterwards had to do with sadness, feeling rushed and a little unloved, wondering where I belong in this rotten world, but at the same time the train ride home was familiar and I was giving myself a break, not pushing myself to go run before the show at the Wilmette Theater.

The show itself was very powerful.  I had good trance states and some nice conversations as the Moon entered Sagittarius.

Friday there were no transits all day, I just worked.  I felt pretty solid taking care of business.  In the evening Mercury conjuncted Saturn and the Moon squared Neptune.  i think I felt the square with Neptune all day in a sense of isolation from my own dream.  I just worked and didn’t feel as though I belonged anywhere at all. 

I wish I’d felt more when Mercury inconjuncted Saturn.  I went to pick up the books for the IANDS meeting, which was a little limiting, since I usually do it on Thursday but I had to reschedule.  It was snowing, too, I think.  I should be able to find more meaning in this transit, shouldn’t I?  I usually do with Mercury transits, but perhaps that obscurity is the meaning of Mercury conjuncting dark Saturn.  I had a great meditation session; I had returned some Library books earlier in the evening.  I was doing some good 3D stuff.

Saturday I had a big surprise to validate the Venus square with Uranus.  The speaker was Eric Pearl, whose book I read years before.  I had no idea it was going to be him and it was extraordinarily powerful to do meditations with him, having used his healing modality for years and years.  It was extremely powerful and I felt exceptionally focused, which led to a very mystical evening as Venus sextiled Chiron and took me back through the years.

Sunday the Moon entered Capricorn.  I didn’t have any car trouble, but I went down to Edgewater and ate at this crummy restaurant I’ve eaten at for years just because it’s between the Bryn Mawr stop and Graham Crackers, but this time was the straw that broke the camel’s back – the service and the food were so shitty and overpriced that I vowed never to return.  And then on top of that I got sick.  So that fit with the Sun squaring Uranus – this unexpected disaster at one of my old haunts, which actually gave me the impulse to cut my comic subscriptions and stop going down to Edgewater on Sundays altogether, and use that time for something else.

So I was feeling sick and the Moon conjuncted Saturn in the evening.  I didn’t get anything done and I just went to bed early. 

I woke up early monday morning, around the time the Sun was sextiling Chiron, feeling “convalescent”, a kind of cozy drowsiness with work still several hours off, and lay awake through the Moon conjunction with Mercury, feeling the presence of the spirit world and doing my laundry in the middle of the night. 

I’m turning a corner with my astrological perceptions, feeling te presence of the planetary energies in a more specific way, more distinguished from my awareness of my physical body. 

Work was pretty typical.  I found some great stuff on Daz.  Moon sextiling Neptune in the afternoon made me feel like I’ve entered a new era in my life, when I can finally just transmit impressions from the spirit world and stop wandering in chaotic daydreams of what it all might mean.

I dropped off the IANDS books in the snow and made it home.  Jupiter sextiled Pluto late at night but I was sleeping, having taken some Nyquil.  I’m convinced it was the lousy food at that restaurant in Edgewater that messed me up.  I’m so annoyed with that place that I’m thinking I should go online and leave a bad review for them somewhere.

This morning came and I was still a little tired and under the weather so I slept in a couple more hours.  But then I felt pretty good and I was actually fairly excited when I got to work.  There was an amazing sale on Daz3D and I finally got the Terradome I’ve been wanting so I can get the right sky and seascape for my Black Citadel.

I rode the quest of the Moon sextiling Mars, thinking all about my character Zane and how he loves barfights, how essential barfights are to his personality.  I didn’t realize until just now, checking the transits, that this particular observation was so related to celestial timing.  It’s encouraging as I get deeper into storytelling through 3D.  I have to remember to work on astrologically-timed and -themed subjects.

The Moon squared Uranus just before I got off work.  I’m trying to remember what it was that hit me but I was feeling very strange.  I almost stayed late to keep working.  My subconscious is telling me that if I keep searching I’ll remember something that happened.  I know I got a call from some kind of credit card scam around 12:48.  And also I now remember that I was checking my bank account and realized that my student loan payment hasn’t come out for this month.  That wasn’t a crisis, as it’s in the budget, but it was still a surprise, so once again the transit is validated.

I was shopping while the Moon sextiled Chiron – it was nice to get back to routine after being sick, and having a rushed weekend.  I was feeling very confident, as though many of my telepathic problems have been solved, and that I finally have the distance I’ve always wanted from the rotten personal relationships of my past.  Also I was feeling extremely enthusiastic about the 3D stuff I picked up today.  My work in that area is really taking me places.

8:11 PM 1/16/2018 So I just caught up with my narrative after four or five days of sickness and chaos, and I look up to realize that the New Moon is only 6 minutes away.  That certainly validates that transit.

Last summer I noticed that I usually had car trouble during Capricorn Moons.  It’s true that with all the snow my windshield has been very messy but the car is not such a hassle.  However I did get sick from that damn restaurant so my wariness of this phase is still justified.

I just won game on Chess.com that I’ve been playing for weeks.

Venus enters Aquarius tomorrow.  I think Venus in Capricorn has been very related to my work with 3D, taking the lush Venusian imagery of my imagination and translating it into hard parameters.  Venus in Aquarius will probably bring a phase of more publishing, making more stuff for the web, probably setting up an account on DeviantArt.com.

I’m especially looking forward to Mars inconjunct Uranus tomorrow afternoon.  i wonder if there’s a way I can prepare, so nothing bad happens?

It’s nice to be caught up again.  This is the longest I’ve gone without running in months … but getting sick and getting better has brought me some new vitality and a sense of what I’m supposed to be doing.  I’m off to work on 3D now.

11:12 PM 1/10/2018

I’m going deeper into trance now, less concerned with what anyone might think than I have been in ten years.  On Monday the 8th, Venus sextiling Jupiter and Mars sextiling Pluto made me feel quite expansive, like I have a lot of interpersonal relationships sustaining my life and a lot of involvement with the world ahead of me.  The picture I posted on Renderosity, with major Plutonian themes, has been on my mind and also the immanence of some kind of revelation about what the spirit world wants me to do with my insights. 

Monday I still had this disastrous project from the week before hanging over my head, but somehow it was working out a little at a time.  I did spend a lot of time thinking about how meaningless corporate America is, how empty and sad this entire country has become, and how I don’t give a damn about anything that happens here. 

Major Lunar squares in the afternoon, Venus, the Sun, and Pluto.  Life was feeling pretty awkward.  I need a haircut and I had a lot of errands to do.  I did manage to get my grocery shopping done but I was still feeling pressed for time.  I was thinking a lot about the entertainment business, which I’ve thought about for most of my life, and how all the latest sex scandals just make the whole thing seem like garbage, and make all of America seem like nothing but garbage in retrospect.  What a lame, sad bunch of souls come to this pathetic world to cocreate!  How easily forgotten this ugly, insignificant world must be to the souls of the dead.

But my planner pages came in the mail that night and I began to get my life back on track as the Sun conjuncted Venus and I felt more than ever like I can finally see my true spiritual home, can finally focus on getting what I want and forgetting about the idiocy of the society I live in.

The darkness is increasing all around me; it’s a comforting darkness with the name of an angel.

Tuesday the 9th I forgot my phone.   Moon sextiled Mercury and I was still thinking about how cool my latest picture on Renderosity is.  Also I took major steps to resolving the disastrous project from last week.  There was a ton of cool stuff for sale on Daz3D. The Moon entered Scorpio and I tuned out the world.  Venus trined Mars.  I wish I could remember what was going on at that time, because it was deep. 

But I feel now like someone is in the room with me, some ghost, and I recall that I had a bunch of stuff in my shopping cart at Renderosity but I stayed up late drinking and never bought it so my coupon expired and the sale ended so I never got any of it, validating the Moon sextile with Saturn considerably – although it’s not so bad because there was also a one-day sale (urgent time concerns again) on Daz3D where I actually got away with a ton of much better stuff.  I also did a lot of work on the elements of greek tragedy in my heptalogy, with unity of time-place-and-event coming into focus.  I also found some settings ond Daz that will produce just that level of intensity in my 3D work.

Another wild validation of the Saturn transit was that I went to run and thought I had forgotten my tablet, even though it was stuck in my coat pocket, so I listened to music instead of watching more of Sense8.  A rather silly mistake but evidence of a trend that continued this morning.

Moon sextiled Mars and made me feel too good to sleep late last night, but then I woke up early this morning and lay lazily in bed wondering how long I had before work – until I realized that the volume on one of my alarm clocks was set all the way down and I was missing it.  It was just making a little tapping noise.  When I discovered that I realized that my main alarm was also off, and my phone was out of charge.  It had run down during the night.  This was the biggest drag as it took hours to charge.  I actually bought another phone on Ebay to replace it before it came back to life around 11 am. 

There were a number of other major screwups.  Yet another project I thought was done turned out to be fucked up and then there was a messed up delivery that had several people across the nation deeply annoyed with me.  And on the day my phone isn’t working for hours I got five text messages and a call from my housemate who went on vacation and left her passport at home.  Whatever is going on in the cosmos, it’s been extremely fucked up for the last couple of days. 

However the Moon trining Neptune was crystal clear.  The parallel dimension I inhabit was crystal clear, especially in the ten minutes right before the transit.  I’m finally getting the answers I want and cutting free the evil monsters of my past.

More and more I’m able to catch myself in the middle of the mysterious daydreams that haunt my life, and bring myself back to the world. 

But the continuous stream of disasters is still going on, as when I got home it turned out that all of the charger cables I have here are now broken so I had to spend an hour going to all the stores in the neighborhood searching for a replacement, ultimately paying 10 dollars for a cable I could have gotten for $3 on the web if I’d had the time.  I was exhausted from walking up and down the block as well, so I didn’t bother to run. 

All of this is probably related the Mercury entering Capricorn tonight.  Possibly, with all the 3D I’m doing and some other things, the cosmos is moving me toward greater articualion and less escapism.

I’m too tired to go on right now, but I’m generally very happy with all that’s going on.

10:44 PM ¼/2018

Today was a f***ed up day at work as I struggled with the screwed up project that I was informed of on Tuesday, but as the day progressed I made the necessary contacts and figured out how to fix it so it is basically resolved and the loose ends should be tied up tomorrow or Monday. 

I got my astrological planner tonight, but I had a lot of other stuff on my mind so I’m not doing transits.  Really I just had to make an entry becase I watched the season 7 finale of Buffy and even though I wasn’t expecting much (I just squeezed it in because I finished season 5 last night) it rocked my world and made me miss Buffy all the more. 

ATT Fullscreen ends tonight, and it showed in the lousy reception – the show kept pausing to buffer.  It was funny all the other disasters that happened – I forgot my headband so I had to keep wiping sweat out of my eyes, and so I dropped my towels and had to get off the treadmill to retrieve them.  I came right down to the wire, trying for 800 calories burned but the timer ran out at 799.9 – obvious proof of synchronicity, the last Buffynicity of the era.

But all that was fun for me, I took it as a synchronicitous echo of the mad scramble of the finale, just the chaos of the final battle. I’m going to miss this show – not that I won’t be able to see it, but Netflix doesn’t carry it and I’ve already downloaded Star Trek to watch tomorrow.

However I must say that Joss Whedon is my favorite TV writer and Buffy is the greatest show since Star Trek TOS.  I can’t wait to watch it again.

And I have so many ideas for my own 3D animation but tonight I’ve told the world how much I love Buffy and I’m off to bed.