Monthly Archives: December 2017

The Buffy Diaries 12-29-2017

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10:16 PM 12/27/2017

Buffynicity #1:  I think it was pretty major.  Recently I bought a 3d scene on Content Paradise of a room with a magical pentagram on the floor.  Then just last night I bought another room on Renderosity which also has a pentagram on the floor.  Then this afternoon I bought a “Firefly Independents flag”, which has a black five-pointed star on it.  Then tonight I decided to start skipping around with Buffy, since I only have 8 days of ATT Fullscreen left, and I chose the episode where they go to a college Halloween party.  I had forgotten until I saw it again that there is a demon that’s been summoned when a student draws a pentagram on the floor, so that was an extremely cool magical happening.

8:17 PM 12/28/2017

Buffynicity #2: I had been looking earlier that day at my Pinterest feed for the first time in weeks, and I saw a picture of Laurel and Hardy, although the actors were out of character.  Then that night they mentioned Laurel and Hardy in the episode.

Right now I need to go run, but I’m in the midst of the darkness.  The darkness is becoming solid, which I’ve hoped for for a very long time.

10:18 PM 12/28/2017

Buffynicity #3:  Last night when I went to run the counter attendant was wearing a novelty cap with two horns like a Viking helmet.  Since time is running out for Fullscreen I decided to skip ahead to season 5 and picked the episode where Anya and Willow summon a troll.  I had totally forgotten that he wears a viking helmet with horns on it.  So that was another very good one. 

It was so fun watching that show for almost a year. 

I’m feeling very fuzzy now, about to run off to King Spa.  I’ve forgotten so much of what’s happened in the last couple of weeks.  It’s very frustrating and I realize now I’m going to have to keep track of transits minute by minute again.  I know that on Wednesday the 20th the Moon sextiled Chiron and squared Uranus in the morning and one of my co-workers came to me to solve a problem that turned out to be a misunderstanding.  The timing was so close to the transits that it was obviously linked and I made a note of it, but not detailed enough to remember now.  Still, it was validating. 

However this is the first time I have to admit that I just don’t remember anything meaningful about most of the rest of the week.  I have to take a different approach to this now.

On Friday I do remember an amazing dream circle though, Mercury went direct and the Moon sextiled Uranus just as I got a letter about some serious financial karma and half a dozen really important people came to the dream circle.  It was kicking off my vacation and all these amazing relationships and invitations rained down on me, showing that all the good and bad karma of my life is interwoven and finally coming to some kind of coherence or conclusion.

I don’t remember much about Saturday.  Sunday I was at Kingspa.  Moon conjunct Neptune was appropriate.  Square Mercury, trine Jupiter, sextile Pluto, I felt like a complete success.  Venus followed Taurus into Capricorn as I was leaving.  I’m much more able to focus on my own life.  There is much more going on as I write these things now, although it may seem there is less.  I believe this is an important step toward deeper channeling.

I don’t remember much about Christmas.  It all went great and Tuesday and Wednesday were also pretty smooth.  I was focusing on all the amazing 3D stuff I’m getting, and also an invitation to play D&D in the upcoming year.  Also a friend has some major conjuncts with Antares in her chart and I expect big revelations when I meet with her on Sunday.

On Wednesday the Moon conjuncted Uranus about an hour before I got off work and that was validated when a huge project we had suddenly go hit with went awry and I had to scramble at the last minute to straighten it out.  It all worked out but it was definitely a major unexpected event I found out about right at the time of the transit.

The Mars trine Neptune was exceptionally powerful as my vacation began.  I knew I was getting what I wanted and I knew that an era of seraching was ending, that forces are circling around me now and bringing life to a focal point.

Yesterday I received a lot and now as I write I can see that my perspective on what I receive is changing.  I’m not being so vague about it all.  I’m not emotionally involved with the story of the world “out there”.  I’m gaining control and presence.

Now that I think of it, on Wednesday I had my first totally clear image of what Kara does.  Until now she’s been the least vivid of my guides but that’s because I wasn’t ready for the power of her intelligence.  This is what I’ll be working on today at King Spa.

The other image I got yesterday was of how pathetically unimportant my experience of Morton, Illinois in the 80s was in the cosmic scheme of things – especially how trivial the popular music I loved was. 

I dithered around this morning, not getting much done.  Now I find that the Moon trined Pluto just now and is VOC until 11:31 tonight.  What an interesting day to be at King Spa!  Nothing but the Moon sextiling Chiron to look forward to. 

As repetitive as this blog as been, I can see that over the last year it has been instrumental in changing my relationship to time.  I’m still working to balance the two modes – blogging transits versus doing 3D. 

I’m also getting a handle on a specific karmic issue that haunts me in my dream states – Justice versus Darkness.  I want to be a white knight but I have to accept the dark reality of something I’m not sure of.  Lots of revelations are still to come I’m sure.

The Buffy Dairies 12-26-2017

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10:58 PM 12/26/2017  I did it to myself again, I didn’t blog for several days and now I’ve forgotten everything.  My vacation was totally wild.  I’m just writing tonight because I watched the 3rd season finale of “Buffy TVS”.  There’s only a little more than a week to go before ATT Fullscreen shuts down and I move on to Netflix.  I loved the third season.  Things were so much less complicated then.  I’ve had “Armageddon It” by Def Leppard running through my head for several days, which is very funny.  I’m not sure I should be admitting that. 

Luna inconjuncted Mars this afternoon and I felt very fuzzy-headed, although also very enthusiastic about returning to my vacation tomorrow night, as I had to work today.  Moon trining Mercury was nice as I went back to working out after four days off (I gained weight, unfortunately).  I was also congratulating myself on watching Buffy for almost a year, and feeling very magical about all the 3D stuff I’ve bought during the Christmas sales on Daz and Poser.  I’m getting into lighting now and feeling very capable.  We’re on the way to Luna inconuncting Jupiter even as I speak and I do feel a little out of sorts, trying to get in a blog entry even though I should be sleeping.  However I really want to catch up. 

Buffynicity #1:  Today I was looking at an “Alice in Wonderland” outfit on Renderosity all morning and then tonight Buffy said to Angel “Drink me.”

Buffynicity #2:  Yesterday and today I was also looking at the giant Daz “Morphing Python”, intending to buy it, and then (as I had largely forgotten) the mayor of Sunnydale turns into a giant snake. 

Buffynicity #3:  During the last few days I’ve also been looking at a wicked sword prop with weird edges that reminded me of Faith’s magic knife – the one Buffy takes to kill the snake with.

Yesterday the Moon entered Aries, then squared Saturn and Venus.  I was feeling a little pressed for time, staying up late and drinking a little.  I was getting good information but I was also feeling a little under the weather, like my life has gotten out of control.  I can’t complain too much though as I’m feeling very focused, spiritually.

So I got in an entry tonight and tomorrow I’ll try to catch up with all the amazing things that happened during the first part of my Christmas vacation.

The Buffy Diaries 12-19-2017 Part 2

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11:02 PM 12/19/2017  I don’t want this past week to be the first week I haven’t blogged about, but basically I’ve forgotten everything I did.  I left off yesterday with the Moon entering Sagittarius and squaring Chiron on Friday.  My favorite model store is closing so that brought back some old memories. I had a ton of cool stuff to buy on Renderosity – outfits for Victoria 4 that I’ve been thinking of for months.  I did work out and watch Buffy and I had a great cleaning.  The Chiron square made me feel homebound and insular, combining with the laziness of the Sagittarius moon.

Thursday I had been downtown, catching up on old projects.  I saw one of my big bosses down there as well, but everything else was routine, befitting the Moon conjunct with Jupiter.  I felt very in charge, especially with the year-end pressures of the assessments I’ve passed through winding down.  This Jupiter conjunct was definitely very clear.  Synchronistically, there was another Pluto aspect – a sextile with the Moon and then void of course for the rest of the evening.  In general this is related to my corporate job making me feel smaller.  The better I fit in there the more I know I’m just another one of the nothings there.  I’ve learned how to be a corpo.

What did I do on Wednesday, when the Moon entered Scorpio and conjuncted Mars?  I know I was thinking all about major 3D purchases, and the powerful magic I’m doing with my images.  I think the secretiveness of Scorpio also played a role in me skipping my blogging.  Now that I think about it, I think I was a couple of hours late for work as well, although I can’t exactly remember why.  I’ll have to work on that.  I do remember the momentum of Mars taking me places however.

Which leaves Tuesday as the big mystery.  There were so many aspects, and now they’re all gone although I did blog that Monday night about my big expectations and I do recall that the daytime wasn’t such a big deal, but I got a big hit in the evening.

Moon squaring Pluto, sextiling the Sun and Mercury, Sun conjunct Mercury, Moon inconjunct Chiron and opposing Neptune.  I know something big happened to me that night.  I even think I remember writing something about it.  The day actually went by pretty smooth but something so totally unexpected hit me that evening that I felt it justified the entire day.  It’s eerie because I remember writing about it.  I’m recording this now as a kind of seed thought. 

I’m hearing “Angry Chair” by Alice in Chains in my head now.  In general my life is getting happier.  I have more inner control.  Something just hit me in the head as I wrote that.  I know I have to come up with something about these transits that’s deeper than what I’ve been doing, and yet I know what I’ve done has been extremely useful.  Even though not much seems to get expressed, it has a very profound effect on me when I watch myself write it. 

I was feeling great this morning when I got to work with the Moon sextiling Neptune.  Then suddenly my boss at the international level jumped on a bunch of us to complete some training immediately so there was a little rush.  I’m surpirsed there were no transits associated with it.  But everthing worked out okay and I felt pretty stately all the rest of the day, coinciding with the Moon sextiling Jupiter, so similar to the Moon conjunct Jupiter I felt last week.  I’m starting to get more sensitive to that planet and I can tell when it’s making me feel good, like I can handle life.

I got home and worked on 3D, finishing the chapter on Cameras in the Poser manual, and working on some new settings I bought.  I’m finally getting a library big enough not to jump for every new .obj that goes on sale, however.  I worked until the Moon conjuncted Pluto at 8:54.  It’s amazing how resonant that was, as I found myself making 3D images that really impressed me.  Things are really coming together for me on an inner level as I increase the mastery of my imagination.

Saturn has entered Capricorn now!  I think this adjustment is one reason I didn’t blog for so long.  I’m just getting a very hard edge to everything I think and do, nailing down money and 3D, completing high-level tasks at work and preparing for what I know is going to be a very transformative vacation. 

Tomorrow the Moon squares Uranus and sextiles Chiron, Venus squares Chiron and trines Uranus.  I’m expecting a powerful healing and looking forward to seeing whether I make it through this Capricorn moon without car trouble.

All in all I feel pretty peaceful as Christmas vacation approaches.  Saturn in Sagittarius brought quite a bit of philosophical transformation, including a renewed interest in astrology.  I’m expecting Saturn in Capricorn to bring me some money.

I have more to write about that but I’m tired now.  I’m still wondering about what happened last Tuesday, because I know it validated all those transits, but I can’t do more than give myself a suggestion to remember.  At least I’m back on track with it.  I know part of this is about getting back to doing a little every day, and controlling my addiction to 3D illustration.

The Buffy Diaries 12-19-2017 Part 1

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11:15 PM 12/18/2017  It’s been seven days since I made an entry.  It’s all the holiday sales on Renderoisty and Daz3D.  I’ve been poring over them and not wanting to bother to think about it.  But tonight I had a decent Buffynicity, and I really need to catch up anyway.  I’m getting very clear with the spirit world.  I have a strong feeling of impending revelation.  As usual, words fail me and I can’t do much but repeat these vague descriptions, but still the process works to advance my perceptions even if the visible result isn’t much.

I’m going to work backwards.

Buffynicity #1:  Tonight there was brief scene with a character who reminded me of someone I know.  I remembered that this person I know had recently made a very funny joke about his grandmother.  Then within seconds the character on the show made a joke and mentioned his grandmother.  This came so close together that I knew I had to record it even though I’ve stopped paying very close attention to Buffynicties recently.

As for transits, this morning the Moon conjunct Saturn was relatively pleasant as I was arriving at work, although I did feel a little pressue due to a big event scheduled this morning, it actually went quite smoothly.  The Moon entered Capricorn right afterward and I was very mellow, looking forward to my Xmas vacation starting on Friday, feeling like I have smooth sailing ahead for the week.

The day went by fast and as the Moon sextiled Mars in the evening I was relishing all the new 3d stuff I’m getting on sale and feeling very focused with regard to the spirit world.  Something’s over with, I guess.  I’m much more able to focus emotionally on my own inner states and I think I’m getting beter control.

Going back to Sunday, Moon conjunct Venus in the afternoon I was feeling pretty good about myself and not wanting to move.  Moon squaring Chiron and trining Uranus in the evening found me unexpectedly falling asleep and then waking up around 9 pm to lay awake for several hours in a pretty intense trance, feeling ready for the week ahead.  I realize now I stayed awake all through the New Moon so it was definitely a magical event even though I had not expected it. 

The Uranus and Chiron transits were also related to the fact that I got down to Edgewater late, around 5. Graham Crackers was closed but instead I found St. Ita’s open and I went in and sat through the Mass.  It was very healing and brought a deeper vision of spiritual presence.  I felt like a lot of mental conflict about who and where Jesus is was unexpectely healed.

Saturday the Moon squared Neptune in the evening.  John and Lyn were having a party and I was getting a lot of information (and food) from hanging around everybody, but ultimately I fell asleep early and woke up in the middle of the night.  I may have been awake for the Moon conjuncting Mercury, but certainly was during the approach as I felt extremely confident in who I was.

Friday the Moon trined Chiron in the morning, right before Mecury conjuncted Venus and the Moon inconjuncted Uranus.  It seems like it should have been a powerful morning but I don’t remember much.  I was getting caught up with the last of the major project that has been going on for two weeks.  There were some unexpectedly cool sales and the 3D sites, as I recall.  And I was feeling great about my life.  In the evening the Moon entered Sagittarius. I was feeling  

6:13 AM 12/19/2017  I fell asleep and now I’m leaving for work, but I wanted to get this online because it’s like some kind of magical breaking of a barrier.  I’ll catch up further tonight.                                                    

The Buffy Diaries 12-11-2017

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11:49 PM 12/11/2017

I’ve been working with cameras in Poser tonight, and I feel pretty good about it.  It snowed on the drive home but I’m not letting that get me down.  I’m hearing “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby in my head. 

No transits today to speak of except the Moon inconjuncted Neptune while I was running.  It was the episode where Faith lies to Giles and accuses Buffy of killing the Deputy Mayor.  I’m not going to bother to remember any Buffynicities tonight but I did get an e-mail saying that Fullscreen will only continue streaming through January 5, so I guess that’s when I’ll switch to Netflix and find other shows to watch.

I’m so totally into learning all the subtleties of Poser that I don’t want to sleep.  Tomorrow should be cool with the Moon squaring Pluto in the morning, then sextiling Mercury while the Sun conjuncts Mercury.  I plan to finish a big project tomorrow and I bet something cool will happen.

In the evening Chiron inconjuncts the Moon and Uranus opposes.  Coupled with the day’s Merucury aspects I’m expecting important information, probably about Fomalhaut and Antares.

I am integrating more and more around Fomalhout, which is conjunct my ascendant, feeling the destiny that surrounds me.  I’m very happy to note that Vincent Price also had his ascendant conjunct that star.  I can tell this is where the chaos in my mind comes from and big things are happening.  I’m finally getting to the point

The Buffy Diaries 12-10-2017 Part 2

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10:27 PM 12/10/2017  Powerful Venus tranits bring powerful visions – especially since Venus was transiting my natal Mars only a couple of weeks after I discovered that I have Mars and Antares conjunct.  Moon opposing Neptune during the meeting added to the power of it.  I wasn’t “spacey”, however.  I was very focused and in control. Everything went off like clockwork, and as a few of my helpers were on vacay, I actually did a bunch of the work myself, which made me feel more in control.  It was unusually relaxing as there was no ritual afterwards (for months I’ve had a ritual to attend right after IANDS, but not this time).  The Moon sextiling Jupiter gave added confidence.  It was as though my work has paid off and I am now integrating my spiritual visions into the revenue streams.  In the evening the approach to the Moon trining Pluto was an integrating factor, bringing me closer to the collective so that now as I am blogging I am actually aiming closer to the world, more ready for people to read what I write, more conversational.

This morning Venus squaring Neptune brought a really profound, specific experience of the psychic “cloud” of evil I’ve been involved with over the course of my life being somehow dissapated.  The spirit forces seem to have decided that I am done with them and so some chain is now broken. 

12:30 AM 12/11/2017  I’ve been drinking a little, but I took a nap this afternoon so I should be in pretty good shape for tomorrow.  But I’m going to catch up here.  Mercury squared Chiron and the Moon squared Mercury and opposed Chiron this afternoon, which was very appropriate as there is a major change taking place.  It’s taking place now as I’m writing and it boggles my mind.  The old drama is done.  I am trying to figure out a way to express it but I can’t come up with anything except to say that I feel the “masters” are getting closer.  Venus squaring Neptune definitely brought the overwhelmingly powerful visions I love, although I wouldn’t call them visions anymore, but sense experiences.  I just want to get this written so I can go to sleep.  My mind is like a train wreck.  Moon squaring Chiron and opposing Mercury brought spectacular results and an amazing sense of confidence and prosperity.  I’m definitely getting over things from the past.  The telepathic experience of detachment from the “dark cloud” of the evil people I’ve known was definitely related to these aspects.  I was working on some good 3d during these times, and then I took a nap during the Moon inconjunct Uranus, which may have been related to the light bulb in the basement being burnt out when I went to put in my laundry. 

I stayed up late tonight listening to music and assimilating all the crazy things that have happened, like Lucy being downstairs spending the night.  Moon squaring Saturn definitely brought a sense of being pressed for time.  I feel great tonight, and I don’t want to let it go.  I’m very excited for the week ahead.  My only concern is that get up in time for work, which is appropriate since the Moon has entered Libra.  So all is going according to plan, I guess.  And here I go again. 

It’s interesting that after rushing to chronicle five days of heavy aspects, there are only two tomorrow, and in the evening – Moon inconjunct Neptune and sextile Venus.  I should have some nice, gentle perceptions of higher worlds. 

The big news of course is my Ascendant conjunct Fomalhaut.  I’ve always been fascinated with that name, and now I’m off on a new adventure of discovering what this means.  Look out world. 

The Buffy Diaries 12-10-2017 Part 1

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8:48 PM 12/10/2017  It’s hard to believe it’s been five days since I wrote an entry.  I’m trying to keep up, but 3d is my new passion and it takes up all my free time.  I’ve finished the chapters on Posing and Props and now I’m getting into cameras. 

Around 7 o’clock tonight I felt a very powerful spirit presence.  I talked to it for several minutes and then I went to run.  When I got home I realize that my friend Lucy was spending the night here and the depth and power of this spirit presence was familiar from other times that I have done shamanic work with her.  I sat and talked to her for a while, immersing myself in this presence more deeply.  Now I’m trying to blog from within it, shifting the background of the psychic space to a more focused clarity.

I don’t know what this depth of trance means but I certainly want to carry it with me through the work week.  I forsee the possibility that I may clarify this presence enough to articulate it.

Even as I write now I’m having some kind of inner conversation about what this is supposed to mean. 

Tuesday night was my last astrology class.  Wednesday morning Mercury conjuncted Saturn and the Moon squared Uranus.  I wish I could remember what happened, but I do recall that I felt the Uranus transit was validated. 

Mercury sextiled Mars, the Moon inconjuncted Mercury, squared Mars, and inconjuncted Saturn before it entered Leo.  Then Mercury sextiled Saturn.  I recall that I was very excited, having chosen to get Janus 5, a powerful Astrology software.  I was thinking all about Antares and Fomalhaut.

I just looked up Fomalhaut and it turns out my Ascendant is 2 degrees 59 minutes Pisces.  That’s pretty close to Fomalhaut, which is fun.

I don’t remember too much about what happened during the day, but all the intense aspects did build up to that evening when a friend an I held the first meeting of our Shamanic Literary Society devoted to Edgar Allen Poe.  It was extremely intense and I feel I got very powerful results.  “The Masque of the Red Death” was our story.  I felt that I contacted the ghost realms very well and I got a lot of insights into what it might have been like to live in the 19th century.  I can’t wait for the next one. So even though I forgot what happened during the day all the transits of Mars, Saturn, and Mercury were validated in that evening’s entertainment.

Thursday I was working downtown.  Moon inconjuncted Neptune and squared Jupiter.  I was getting a lot done.  Once again I was too lazy to blog so I’ve forgotten the day but the transits were validate in the afternoon, when the Moon trined the Sun and I was picking up the books for IANDS – I felt a very stable double-awareness of the physical plane and the spirit world at the same time.  Even as I write this now I can feel “them” changing my understanding.  I was looking back over the years I’ve spent working with IANDS and it seemed quite an achievement. 

I’m thinking now about all the people I’ve met and all their different experiences of spirit, and how sad it is that this country has so many people having such chaotically disorganized experiences in the midst of this totalitarian hell of coproductive emptiness.  I guess spirits are helping me now with this specific unpleasant feeling of chaos that I get thinking about all the money changing hands, all the fringe culture on the edge of fascism that we endure, always seeking the next experience while spending most of our time and energy rationalizing a way of life that has gone tragically wrong, and doing backfill on the total lack of genuine leadership that we face every day.

The Moon inconjuncted Pluto that evening as I was working on the Poser Manual, getting through Poses and into Props.  Once again there was a Pluto transit on a day I worked downtown. 

Working on the Manual makes me feel in control and genuinely a part of the online 3D community.  That’s another Plutonian aspect for me – the collective energies of the imaginal underworld.

Friday was very happy.  I was making a lot of headway on the last heavy project of the year.  In the morning my work e-mail was down, which was very validating for the Moon trining Uranus.  But ultimately I got it back and got a lot done.  Things are looking good for the next week.  Another unexpected thing was 50 percent off Daz Platinum Plus memberships the week before my quarterly membership was to expire, so it made me very happy to lock that in for a year. 

Even as I write this I feel someone watching over me.  It’s very nice. 

The Moon trined Mercury and Saturn.  I was feeling very good about the upcoming weekend, and my impending holiday vacation as well.  Venus was conjuncting my natal Mars and Antares as well.  Considering how well the weekend has worked out, I must say my enthusiasm was validated.  A 3D version of the ancient Babylonian Ishtar Gate went on sale and I can’t wait to make something with it.

The news that my ascendant is within one degree of Fomalhaut is working on my subcionscious now.  I’ve always love the sound of that word.  Now I have an excuse to work with it magically.  This has been a big year for me, first discovering I have Juno and Pallas in the 9th house, and now the fixed stars conjuncting aspects in houses 1 and 9. 

The Sun sextiled Mars as I was picking up comics and models on Friday.  I was definitely feeling good on my way to a circle.  And it was very powerful.  I worked with two of my roommates for the first time.  As I write I can feel a shift in my approach to writing, there’s a presence hovering over me and I’m writing for that presence now instead of an imaginary nobody out there in the stratosphere.  I have to ask myself what I’m trying to achieve with this. 

I’m listening to “All Night Long” now.  The Moon entered Virgo while I was on the way home and I realize now that this was why this weekend felt so magical.  Moon in Virgo is often the most magical time of the month for me.

Mars entered Scorpio on Saturday, which is another big deal and reminds me why I need to keep this blog, to keep track of things like this.  Surely this transit has a lot to do with my daydreams of Antares, the “Heart of the Scorpion”.  I feel much more focused now, much more like I’m getting things done.

Moon squared Venus as I was on my way to IANDS, happy to be going through my familiar routine, and yet at the same time distant, wondering how much I belong there.

I’m going to post this now and then get my laundry from the basement, and work on part II.

The Buffy Diaries 12-5-2017

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9:19 PM 12/3/2017

The big news is that I’ve discovered that my Mars in Sagittarius is exactly conjunct Antares.  This changes the whole game for me and I am now researching the Regal Stars of astrology and wondering about their influence in my life.  I have watched Buffy a couple of times this weekend but I don’t remember too many Buffynicites, except that yesterday was the “Smokestack Lightning” episode which was a huge Buffynicity for me when I saw it earlier this year, which also related directly to Kara, my angel of Mars (I should really reread that post) and now here it is again right after I have discovered this new facet to my relationship with her. 

The biggest synchronicity was that this has been my first formal astrology class, and it has taken place right at the annual conjunct of the Sun with Antares.  So not only did I discover this conjunct, but somehow I “coincidentally” discovered it on the very conjunct itself.  My Mars has been conjunct Antares since I was born, but it was only on this “holiday” that I actually found out about it.  I believe others may have mentioned this to me before but now I am totally immersed in this new way of looking at the world.

Furthermore, I have identified one of my angelic guides as a herald of the Archangel Auriel for more than a decade, and now I find that Antares is the star associated with Auriel.  So it seems I’ve made a breakthrough.

I also got some astrology software, and now my blog will get deeper as I start to work with transits relative to my natal chart.

10:09 PM 12/5/2017  And then I was soooo into 3D for the next 2 days that I wrote nothing, and now I’m trying to get back into the narrative of my life, which has changed dramatically since I discovered the conjunct of Mars and Antares in my natal chart – and discovered it on the annual conjunct of the Sun and Antares as well.  So now my daydreams are all about ancient civilizations and such. 

Additionally, I’ve been working my way through the Poser User’s Manual, getting into the nuts and bolts of creating imagery.  Once I get the hang of hair, look out world! 

In general, even though my blog is still a meandering trail in the dust, under the surface I am learning to balance my frame of reference.  I used to feel frustrated at my inability to communicate the magical states I experience, but now I’m more content to dwell on the things I can talk about, and I identify with what I’m writing more, just as I feel more like myself at work. 

As for Buffynicities …

Buffynicity #1: Yesterday I received a letter from an occult organization I belong to, and then that night’s episode was about “Hansel and Gretel”, and the occult symbol that they used, and also earlier had been the episode of the “Bringers of the First Evil”, with the runes on their eyes.  I had a deep Buffynicity earlier this year with that episode, looking at a deck of rune cards at the Chakra Shoppe before one of Sharyl Noday’s sessions on the morning before I watched it the first time. 

Buffynicity #2: The letter from the occult organization was about something that happened in August, and then Willow’s mother commented on Willow’s hair and she replied that she had changed it back in August.

Now for transits, which I’m going to cover in a stream of consciousness because I’m experimenting with persona a bit.  Friday morning, what happened?  Moon inconjunct the Sun in the morning, I was feeling pretty good having survived the quarterly site assessment at work.  I was looking forward to all the cool 3D stuff I was going to buy with my new paycheck, and also feeling a little wild about Antares.  Moon opposing jupiter and sextiling Neptune, I was feeling pretty out of this world, seeing whole new possibilities for exploration.  During breaks at work I was looking up the Regal Stars on the web and putting pieces of my life story together.  The Moon trining Pluto in the evening was very integrating.  Goodbye to the old self.  I now have a target in the underworld – Antares.  No more wandering in daydreams, I have a goal, a place to go after I die. 

Saturday Moon inconjunct Saturn and Mercury, I was reading the Poser Users Manual, working on Chapter 8 which is about Posing itself.  Saturn and Mercury were reflected in the limiting work of going through the Mercurial manual, and also in the rush for time as I kept falling asleep and getting distracted, even as I was frustrated and wanted to get as much done as possible during the weekend.  The Moon entering Gemini was also reflected in this shift to airy communication as I was really enjoying working on poses with all the new tools I was discovering.  This was related to Moon opposing Venus and Jupiter trining Neptune, as I feel this process is really grounding out the continuous stream of images I see in my mind’s eye, and helping me focus.  The ritual I attended that evening reinforced this.  It was one of the best, most coherent trances I’ve ever had.  I would even call it a “solid” revelation, where the energies I sensed were so powerful that I lost all self-consciousness and insecurity about their “reality” relative to the physical world.  They seemed to have their own three-dimensional presence and I could feel their origins in a dimension with its own independent reality.

Sunday Mercury went retrograde.  I’ve felt very fuzzy since then, and I’m settling down for a winter of slow-moving navel-gazing.  Moon squared Neptune, inconjuncted Jupiter, and went full while I was meditating, which made the transmission seem extraordinarily clear and precise.  I felt great about my work and optimistic about the future.  It seemed that I could follow the path I’m on for the rest of my life with great success.

In the afternoon I saw Jenn Weigel’s show in Wilmette and had some more great experiences.  Then I came home and worked on Poser while the Moon inconjuncted Pluto.  I wound up staying awake a little too late and drinking, listening to music.  But I still felt fantastic about my spirit contact, playing with my new Astrology software and getting insights into the collective forces of my life.

In the Morning the Moon was squaring Chiron and sextiling Uranus as I discovered I’d left my dome light on and my car battery was drained.  I had to call for a tow truck and wait an hour.  However I felt very peaceful and accepting.  I was at work when the Moon trined Mars, feeling very in control, although still “out of it” from the morning’s hassle.  I was enthusiastic and had a lot of energy, but still wondering what the mistake could “mean” and my sense of alienation lasted until exactly four minutes after the Moon opposed Saturn, when I suddenly decided to check the transits.  So it was extremely validating to see that my mood had matched the timing of the transit perfectly, as well as the surprising issue with my car right around the Uranus transit.  The Moon opposed Mercury and I was feeling a bit frustrated about all that I have to do this week.  When it enetered Cancer I felt very withdrawn into myself and as though I don’t give a damn about the world – a feeling I’m still dwelling on.  The Moon inconjuncted Venus in the evening while I was ignoring my blog and poring over all the amazing things I can do with Poser now that I’m reading the manual.  I’m very excited about my future with this program. 

This morning I woke up a little late but I was going to be on time until I got to work and realize that I’d forgotten my ID badge.  I had to drive home and back while the Moon was trining Neptune, but I had an amazing conversation with my guides during the extra drive time, feeling very grounded and accepting that this conversation was the purpose of the mistake.  Even as I’m writing about it I can feel how my sense of myself is changing, how I’m getting used to asserting my identity as an intuitive and accepting that this is a meaningful form of expression for me in the world.  I was back at work when the Moon trined Jupiter, feeling rejuvenated, relaxed, and in control – very validating for the transit.  Moon inconjuncted the sun later in the day, which was a nice jolt of energy even though I felt a little distracted – I was still having a good time, feeling relieved that I’d survived the travails of the morning and had even gotten some good time with the spirit world out of it. 

This evening I was having my astrology class while the Moon oppposed Pluto, getting deeper into the issue of transits and my progressed chart.  I find that my Sun will progress into the 8th house in about four years, so I’m setting that as a new goal for my public life as an intuitive.  I’m going to focus now on simply working (with my progressed Moon in Taurus) and let bothersome questions about my spritual “brand name” and such wait until 2021 – unless I have some kind of revelation before then.

All in all I still have some work to do to adapt to the Antares revelation.  It’s changing my entire world. 

Tomorrow there’s a ton of transits, including Moon square Uranus in the morning.  I hope I get to work on time as I’ve been late two days in a row now.  Mercury sextiling Mars should be fun.  Moon entering Leo will be cause for celebration.  I just wrote that without really knowing why.  We’ll have to see if my prediction comes true.  However it’s fun because now I can see it in terms of natal degrees.  For instance the Moon is transiting my natal Venus tonight, and will probably transit my natal Sun and Moon tomorrow. 

Friday, Venus will transit my natal Mars and Antares.  This should be big as there’s a shamanic circle.  Moon opposing Neptune during the IANDS meeting should be a trip.