A first stab at something.
Tag Archives: antares
The Buffy Diaries 12-11-2017
11:49 PM 12/11/2017
I’ve been working with cameras in Poser tonight, and I feel pretty good about it. It snowed on the drive home but I’m not letting that get me down. I’m hearing “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby in my head.
No transits today to speak of except the Moon inconjuncted Neptune while I was running. It was the episode where Faith lies to Giles and accuses Buffy of killing the Deputy Mayor. I’m not going to bother to remember any Buffynicities tonight but I did get an e-mail saying that Fullscreen will only continue streaming through January 5, so I guess that’s when I’ll switch to Netflix and find other shows to watch.
I’m so totally into learning all the subtleties of Poser that I don’t want to sleep. Tomorrow should be cool with the Moon squaring Pluto in the morning, then sextiling Mercury while the Sun conjuncts Mercury. I plan to finish a big project tomorrow and I bet something cool will happen.
In the evening Chiron inconjuncts the Moon and Uranus opposes. Coupled with the day’s Merucury aspects I’m expecting important information, probably about Fomalhaut and Antares.
I am integrating more and more around Fomalhout, which is conjunct my ascendant, feeling the destiny that surrounds me. I’m very happy to note that Vincent Price also had his ascendant conjunct that star. I can tell this is where the chaos in my mind comes from and big things are happening. I’m finally getting to the point
The Buffy Diaries 12-10-2017 Part 1
8:48 PM 12/10/2017 It’s hard to believe it’s been five days since I wrote an entry. I’m trying to keep up, but 3d is my new passion and it takes up all my free time. I’ve finished the chapters on Posing and Props and now I’m getting into cameras.
Around 7 o’clock tonight I felt a very powerful spirit presence. I talked to it for several minutes and then I went to run. When I got home I realize that my friend Lucy was spending the night here and the depth and power of this spirit presence was familiar from other times that I have done shamanic work with her. I sat and talked to her for a while, immersing myself in this presence more deeply. Now I’m trying to blog from within it, shifting the background of the psychic space to a more focused clarity.
I don’t know what this depth of trance means but I certainly want to carry it with me through the work week. I forsee the possibility that I may clarify this presence enough to articulate it.
Even as I write now I’m having some kind of inner conversation about what this is supposed to mean.
Tuesday night was my last astrology class. Wednesday morning Mercury conjuncted Saturn and the Moon squared Uranus. I wish I could remember what happened, but I do recall that I felt the Uranus transit was validated.
Mercury sextiled Mars, the Moon inconjuncted Mercury, squared Mars, and inconjuncted Saturn before it entered Leo. Then Mercury sextiled Saturn. I recall that I was very excited, having chosen to get Janus 5, a powerful Astrology software. I was thinking all about Antares and Fomalhaut.
I just looked up Fomalhaut and it turns out my Ascendant is 2 degrees 59 minutes Pisces. That’s pretty close to Fomalhaut, which is fun.
I don’t remember too much about what happened during the day, but all the intense aspects did build up to that evening when a friend an I held the first meeting of our Shamanic Literary Society devoted to Edgar Allen Poe. It was extremely intense and I feel I got very powerful results. “The Masque of the Red Death” was our story. I felt that I contacted the ghost realms very well and I got a lot of insights into what it might have been like to live in the 19th century. I can’t wait for the next one. So even though I forgot what happened during the day all the transits of Mars, Saturn, and Mercury were validated in that evening’s entertainment.
Thursday I was working downtown. Moon inconjuncted Neptune and squared Jupiter. I was getting a lot done. Once again I was too lazy to blog so I’ve forgotten the day but the transits were validate in the afternoon, when the Moon trined the Sun and I was picking up the books for IANDS – I felt a very stable double-awareness of the physical plane and the spirit world at the same time. Even as I write this now I can feel “them” changing my understanding. I was looking back over the years I’ve spent working with IANDS and it seemed quite an achievement.
I’m thinking now about all the people I’ve met and all their different experiences of spirit, and how sad it is that this country has so many people having such chaotically disorganized experiences in the midst of this totalitarian hell of coproductive emptiness. I guess spirits are helping me now with this specific unpleasant feeling of chaos that I get thinking about all the money changing hands, all the fringe culture on the edge of fascism that we endure, always seeking the next experience while spending most of our time and energy rationalizing a way of life that has gone tragically wrong, and doing backfill on the total lack of genuine leadership that we face every day.
The Moon inconjuncted Pluto that evening as I was working on the Poser Manual, getting through Poses and into Props. Once again there was a Pluto transit on a day I worked downtown.
Working on the Manual makes me feel in control and genuinely a part of the online 3D community. That’s another Plutonian aspect for me – the collective energies of the imaginal underworld.
Friday was very happy. I was making a lot of headway on the last heavy project of the year. In the morning my work e-mail was down, which was very validating for the Moon trining Uranus. But ultimately I got it back and got a lot done. Things are looking good for the next week. Another unexpected thing was 50 percent off Daz Platinum Plus memberships the week before my quarterly membership was to expire, so it made me very happy to lock that in for a year.
Even as I write this I feel someone watching over me. It’s very nice.
The Moon trined Mercury and Saturn. I was feeling very good about the upcoming weekend, and my impending holiday vacation as well. Venus was conjuncting my natal Mars and Antares as well. Considering how well the weekend has worked out, I must say my enthusiasm was validated. A 3D version of the ancient Babylonian Ishtar Gate went on sale and I can’t wait to make something with it.
The news that my ascendant is within one degree of Fomalhaut is working on my subcionscious now. I’ve always love the sound of that word. Now I have an excuse to work with it magically. This has been a big year for me, first discovering I have Juno and Pallas in the 9th house, and now the fixed stars conjuncting aspects in houses 1 and 9.
The Sun sextiled Mars as I was picking up comics and models on Friday. I was definitely feeling good on my way to a circle. And it was very powerful. I worked with two of my roommates for the first time. As I write I can feel a shift in my approach to writing, there’s a presence hovering over me and I’m writing for that presence now instead of an imaginary nobody out there in the stratosphere. I have to ask myself what I’m trying to achieve with this.
I’m listening to “All Night Long” now. The Moon entered Virgo while I was on the way home and I realize now that this was why this weekend felt so magical. Moon in Virgo is often the most magical time of the month for me.
Mars entered Scorpio on Saturday, which is another big deal and reminds me why I need to keep this blog, to keep track of things like this. Surely this transit has a lot to do with my daydreams of Antares, the “Heart of the Scorpion”. I feel much more focused now, much more like I’m getting things done.
Moon squared Venus as I was on my way to IANDS, happy to be going through my familiar routine, and yet at the same time distant, wondering how much I belong there.
I’m going to post this now and then get my laundry from the basement, and work on part II.
The Buffy Diaries 12-5-2017
9:19 PM 12/3/2017
The big news is that I’ve discovered that my Mars in Sagittarius is exactly conjunct Antares. This changes the whole game for me and I am now researching the Regal Stars of astrology and wondering about their influence in my life. I have watched Buffy a couple of times this weekend but I don’t remember too many Buffynicites, except that yesterday was the “Smokestack Lightning” episode which was a huge Buffynicity for me when I saw it earlier this year, which also related directly to Kara, my angel of Mars (I should really reread that post) and now here it is again right after I have discovered this new facet to my relationship with her.
The biggest synchronicity was that this has been my first formal astrology class, and it has taken place right at the annual conjunct of the Sun with Antares. So not only did I discover this conjunct, but somehow I “coincidentally” discovered it on the very conjunct itself. My Mars has been conjunct Antares since I was born, but it was only on this “holiday” that I actually found out about it. I believe others may have mentioned this to me before but now I am totally immersed in this new way of looking at the world.
Furthermore, I have identified one of my angelic guides as a herald of the Archangel Auriel for more than a decade, and now I find that Antares is the star associated with Auriel. So it seems I’ve made a breakthrough.
I also got some astrology software, and now my blog will get deeper as I start to work with transits relative to my natal chart.
10:09 PM 12/5/2017 And then I was soooo into 3D for the next 2 days that I wrote nothing, and now I’m trying to get back into the narrative of my life, which has changed dramatically since I discovered the conjunct of Mars and Antares in my natal chart – and discovered it on the annual conjunct of the Sun and Antares as well. So now my daydreams are all about ancient civilizations and such.
Additionally, I’ve been working my way through the Poser User’s Manual, getting into the nuts and bolts of creating imagery. Once I get the hang of hair, look out world!
In general, even though my blog is still a meandering trail in the dust, under the surface I am learning to balance my frame of reference. I used to feel frustrated at my inability to communicate the magical states I experience, but now I’m more content to dwell on the things I can talk about, and I identify with what I’m writing more, just as I feel more like myself at work.
As for Buffynicities …
Buffynicity #1: Yesterday I received a letter from an occult organization I belong to, and then that night’s episode was about “Hansel and Gretel”, and the occult symbol that they used, and also earlier had been the episode of the “Bringers of the First Evil”, with the runes on their eyes. I had a deep Buffynicity earlier this year with that episode, looking at a deck of rune cards at the Chakra Shoppe before one of Sharyl Noday’s sessions on the morning before I watched it the first time.
Buffynicity #2: The letter from the occult organization was about something that happened in August, and then Willow’s mother commented on Willow’s hair and she replied that she had changed it back in August.
Now for transits, which I’m going to cover in a stream of consciousness because I’m experimenting with persona a bit. Friday morning, what happened? Moon inconjunct the Sun in the morning, I was feeling pretty good having survived the quarterly site assessment at work. I was looking forward to all the cool 3D stuff I was going to buy with my new paycheck, and also feeling a little wild about Antares. Moon opposing jupiter and sextiling Neptune, I was feeling pretty out of this world, seeing whole new possibilities for exploration. During breaks at work I was looking up the Regal Stars on the web and putting pieces of my life story together. The Moon trining Pluto in the evening was very integrating. Goodbye to the old self. I now have a target in the underworld – Antares. No more wandering in daydreams, I have a goal, a place to go after I die.
Saturday Moon inconjunct Saturn and Mercury, I was reading the Poser Users Manual, working on Chapter 8 which is about Posing itself. Saturn and Mercury were reflected in the limiting work of going through the Mercurial manual, and also in the rush for time as I kept falling asleep and getting distracted, even as I was frustrated and wanted to get as much done as possible during the weekend. The Moon entering Gemini was also reflected in this shift to airy communication as I was really enjoying working on poses with all the new tools I was discovering. This was related to Moon opposing Venus and Jupiter trining Neptune, as I feel this process is really grounding out the continuous stream of images I see in my mind’s eye, and helping me focus. The ritual I attended that evening reinforced this. It was one of the best, most coherent trances I’ve ever had. I would even call it a “solid” revelation, where the energies I sensed were so powerful that I lost all self-consciousness and insecurity about their “reality” relative to the physical world. They seemed to have their own three-dimensional presence and I could feel their origins in a dimension with its own independent reality.
Sunday Mercury went retrograde. I’ve felt very fuzzy since then, and I’m settling down for a winter of slow-moving navel-gazing. Moon squared Neptune, inconjuncted Jupiter, and went full while I was meditating, which made the transmission seem extraordinarily clear and precise. I felt great about my work and optimistic about the future. It seemed that I could follow the path I’m on for the rest of my life with great success.
In the afternoon I saw Jenn Weigel’s show in Wilmette and had some more great experiences. Then I came home and worked on Poser while the Moon inconjuncted Pluto. I wound up staying awake a little too late and drinking, listening to music. But I still felt fantastic about my spirit contact, playing with my new Astrology software and getting insights into the collective forces of my life.
In the Morning the Moon was squaring Chiron and sextiling Uranus as I discovered I’d left my dome light on and my car battery was drained. I had to call for a tow truck and wait an hour. However I felt very peaceful and accepting. I was at work when the Moon trined Mars, feeling very in control, although still “out of it” from the morning’s hassle. I was enthusiastic and had a lot of energy, but still wondering what the mistake could “mean” and my sense of alienation lasted until exactly four minutes after the Moon opposed Saturn, when I suddenly decided to check the transits. So it was extremely validating to see that my mood had matched the timing of the transit perfectly, as well as the surprising issue with my car right around the Uranus transit. The Moon opposed Mercury and I was feeling a bit frustrated about all that I have to do this week. When it enetered Cancer I felt very withdrawn into myself and as though I don’t give a damn about the world – a feeling I’m still dwelling on. The Moon inconjuncted Venus in the evening while I was ignoring my blog and poring over all the amazing things I can do with Poser now that I’m reading the manual. I’m very excited about my future with this program.
This morning I woke up a little late but I was going to be on time until I got to work and realize that I’d forgotten my ID badge. I had to drive home and back while the Moon was trining Neptune, but I had an amazing conversation with my guides during the extra drive time, feeling very grounded and accepting that this conversation was the purpose of the mistake. Even as I’m writing about it I can feel how my sense of myself is changing, how I’m getting used to asserting my identity as an intuitive and accepting that this is a meaningful form of expression for me in the world. I was back at work when the Moon trined Jupiter, feeling rejuvenated, relaxed, and in control – very validating for the transit. Moon inconjuncted the sun later in the day, which was a nice jolt of energy even though I felt a little distracted – I was still having a good time, feeling relieved that I’d survived the travails of the morning and had even gotten some good time with the spirit world out of it.
This evening I was having my astrology class while the Moon oppposed Pluto, getting deeper into the issue of transits and my progressed chart. I find that my Sun will progress into the 8th house in about four years, so I’m setting that as a new goal for my public life as an intuitive. I’m going to focus now on simply working (with my progressed Moon in Taurus) and let bothersome questions about my spritual “brand name” and such wait until 2021 – unless I have some kind of revelation before then.
All in all I still have some work to do to adapt to the Antares revelation. It’s changing my entire world.
Tomorrow there’s a ton of transits, including Moon square Uranus in the morning. I hope I get to work on time as I’ve been late two days in a row now. Mercury sextiling Mars should be fun. Moon entering Leo will be cause for celebration. I just wrote that without really knowing why. We’ll have to see if my prediction comes true. However it’s fun because now I can see it in terms of natal degrees. For instance the Moon is transiting my natal Venus tonight, and will probably transit my natal Sun and Moon tomorrow.
Friday, Venus will transit my natal Mars and Antares. This should be big as there’s a shamanic circle. Moon opposing Neptune during the IANDS meeting should be a trip.