1:15 PM 2/17/2018  The question I’m struggling with now is the magical intention of my 3D illustration.  Do I want to exercise or exorcise power in the astral realm of my imagination, or do I want to submlimate it to some magical design?

I want to integrate the craziness of my imagination into a functional life; I want to bridge this gap into some kind of wholeness, which means I need to make pictures that address the ego issues – possession, dominion and slavery, power, money, violence.

10:34 PM 2/20/2018  I just put up a cool picture on Renderosity, and it got me excited about getting back to my narrative.  The psychic pressures are getting more pronounced.  Time is by going – ha, I wanted to write time is going by but I got it mixed up – that’s the second time today I’ve done something like that.  In line for stir fry at the cafeteria today the cook suddenly asked me what I wanted before I was ready and I froze for several seconds, unable to remember what I was doing there.

I didn’t even realize that it’s been a week since I updated my blog again.  I swear I thought it was only a few days.  Of course I have been sick as well.  On Wednesday nothing really happened during the day.  I left early.  The Moon sextiled Mars and it gave me a lot of momentum.  I went to King Spa in the evening and had a great time, except there was this kid in the Dream Bulgama room who was coughing all the time.  I felt a distinct sense of dread every time she did it and lo and behold I did get sick.

So the next day I felt like crap and I didn’t pay too much attention to aspects.  Mercury and Moon sextiled Uranus, and then Moon conjuncted Mercury adn the Sun.  There was indeed some unexpected business as I had gone to a lot of trouble to schedule a freight company to pick up some equipment and I found out as I was trying to hand it off that it was against the rules.  I had to cancel the whole thing and go back to square one.  Also there was a lot of other chaos going on to validate the Uranus activity.  Venus sextiling Saturn was more pleasant.  I got some great 3D done, which is the “limiting” of Venusian visual imagery.  Then the Moon entered Pisces and I got sicker and lazier. 

Friday the Moon sextiled Saturn in the morning and there was definitely an insane rush and overload of things to do, validating the transit in the usual fashion.

The Moon conjuncted Venus and I did get the psychic depth I wanted.  I was still looking forward to hitting King Spa on the weekend, even though I felt a little under the weather.  The Lunar square with Mars I don’t remember too well, but I was feeling very rushed and out of sorts – getting sicker without realizing it and generally feeling overwhelmed by my job.  I haven’t felt like I belonged anywhere for several days.  I think I’m just getting it back today.

Late that night the Moon conjncted Neptune and I was rocking my own world with 3D and the feeling of revelation.  Renderosity put everyone’s wish list on sale and I wound up with a Monty Haul of stuff that is advancing my skills tremendously. But then Saturday I woke up too exhausted to go to King Spa, staying home instead except for a brief trip to the grocery store for drinks.

It’s interesting that this was my first full weekend without drinking alcohol, and I got sick. Definitely a karmic adjustment. 

I was sleeping all day while the Moon sextiled Pluto, enhancing the dead feeling of the Pisces Moon, and I guess I was changing the way I see the collective, feeling less involved with it than ever.  But I got some amazing new light sets and I really went overboard with the Neptune influence.

The Moon trined Jupiter in the afternoon and I was feelling pretty good, cozy with my junk food and a weekend of total rest, even if it was snowing.  Then during the VOC Mercury went into Pisces and I can see this is part of the reason I totally forgot to blog even though I’m very excited in general about keeping it going, since I’m seeing the magical effects very clearly.

I get more and more clear about who I am and what my spirits are doing very day.  Unfortunately that doesn’t automatically mean that it’s going to make sense to anyone else. 

I can see though that these Piscean influences are a major factor in my recent apathy, and also the fact that I just posted a picture of a ghost.

The Moon entered Aries on Sunday, but then the Sun entered Pisces.  I wish I could remember what I did that night.  Stayed home and slept, mostly.  I don’t think I went out during the day, except to walk down the block to get some more junk food. 

I definitely felt the Moon squaring Saturn in the evening.  I was spaced out and messing around and then I suddenly decided to assmble my Lego set of the TARDIS.  It wound up taking hours and I didn’t really finish before I had to go to bed because I’d gotten the color of some pieces wrong so I had to take it apart a couple of times to fix it.  I got most of it but once again the Saturn transit was validated.

11:12 PM 2/20/2018  I’m going to stop there because I just turned the wrong page in my planner and wrote about the aspects for next week.  So I’ll catch up tomorrow because it’s too late to go back but this rushing to catch up and failing does validate the Moon trine with Saturn which just happened about an hour ago.