Will my blog save me from the tedious emptiness of life? I had a day of bizarre ups and downs. I felt something ominous and yet peaceful before work. It was a very dark spiritual presence that felt very powerful but I could not reconcile it to my usual habits of positive energy. All night I felt energized and very psychic but still I turned over the same old scenes of personal disaster and suffering in my mind. One thing I’m grateful for, is that the nebulous daydreams I’ve always had about entertainment are dissolving from my mind. Watching Friends and T70S is definitely helping, soaking up the loose feelings like a sponge.
I just watched the intro to T70S “The Keg” … they’re all in high school acting like dumb kids. I can remember not wanting to watch the show then, but now it’s layered over with new feelings as I reconnect myself to the world. It’s exciting to be on the journey of eight years worth of sitcom, although I just realized it ended fourteen years ago so it’s basically ancient history. It’s so good that my illusions are collapsing.
A transformation is taking place …
The inside of my mind is burning and who is there to hear? I’m remembering the intensity of the feelings I had about episode 3. I’m remembering a few days ago when blogging put me into shamanic ecstasy. I’m a little more tired now, the moon is in Pisces all day and I don’t have the driving force I had during the Aquarius moon … but I have the same audience.
This is the most sharply focused performance yet. I’m still in the darkness I felt this morning, I find. It haunted me all night, while it was covered over by thoughts. And yet it’s still here. What do I do with it?
The Moon conjuncted Neptune this morning and I could feel it. I am blazing right now but who am I telling about it? I know I’m going to post this but at the same time I feel totally insulated from anyone ever reading it.
This is new, I’m recording my struggle to get out of one of these paralyzed states in real time. It’s very close to channeling. I’m conversing with the spirit world about the intuitive session I have booked for Tuesday and whether to name the person. I see another dimension open up and there’s a person there. His life is over and he wishes he could talk to his wife. I suppose I should look up some of the people from high school that I daydream about.
It’s good now, that I have validation as a psychic, to dwell on the loneliness that television always inspired in me. So many hours wasted watching MTV! That damage could perhaps be healed now.
I’m falling through dimensions – toward what? I’ve never had such a sensation of being drawn through the veil of some mysterious energy. I’m very glad.
Today I hit a challenge with That 70s Show, moving past sentimentality to actually imagining the world of 1998. I had been doing Shamanism for about a year.
Now I’m actually channeling a conversation with the other world … in the mysterious junction between fantasy and reality. I’m asking a question as something that feels solid in my mind shifts its imaginal location. My feelings are entwined with something. I see an imaginary landscape unfolding. I’m blogging from a new state of concrete spiritual manifestation. The dark energy I felt this morning flows down through me into the world. Is it one of my guardians?
Could I hope against hope that …
Damn, I got distracted by how intense the feeling of presence was, and then I got even more distracted looking for images to make a meme with. Because it feels like a door to another world is open, but it triggers my concrete desires. What do I get from this? When do I get something?
1/17/2021 11:21 AM There, I just slapped together an image for Instagram and now I feel better. The spiritual presence feels closer and calmer. However I got so excited I didn’t want to take my tutorial for the day, on Color Theory in Photography.
1/17/2021 12:44 PM Eventually I took a bunch of tutorials and got things done. But it was hard to contain the furious energy that’s being released in this.