Genvieve appeared today and told me not to put my whole blog on Tumblr, just the Buffynicites.  Coming after the huge peak yesterday, I was very excited and did not watch too much, just enough to get one solid one:

Buffynicity #1: Genvieve appeared with amazing clarity, and then later Phoebe came in wearing an ankh and said she was being haunted by a former client.  Then in T7S Eric saw a phantasia or vision of his father when his car got stuck in the snow.  This parallels very closely the new level of clarity I hit today, with the specific message that Genvieve brought me – one I’m not sharing with anyone just yet.

I
just wanted to point out how great I feel this morning.  It’s interesting because the more demanding
and confusing my job gets, the better I feel about an hour before I get off
work and then after I get home I’m in a tremendous state of bliss all the
time.  I’m so blissed out I can barely watch
my videos.  The only downside to things
is it’s looking like we’re going to have a couple of weeks of the coldest
weather of the year, but today wasn’t so bad.

Buffynicity
#1:
My big peak was that I was just replaying in my mind a peak scene from my
heptalogy, the Nuunar.  And then a few
minutes later Phoebe was talking about Lorne Greene, who was one of the actors
I had cast as Lorn, the lord of evil in that story.  It’s true I usually think of Ricardo
Montalban in that role, but the character is named “Lorn” and he’s
modeled after the character Adama.

Buffynicity
#2:
Another one I’m not sure is really a complete Buffynicity, but still resonates,
is that I’ve been reading about Marilyn Manson today, with the big scandal, and
then Joey Tribbiani gets told he has to sleep with someone to get a role, and
furthermore, Fun Bobby is very boring without alcohol and this reminds me of
the rumours that Marilyn Manson lives to take drugs because he can’t stand life
without them.

My
biggest problem right now is that I have an errand to run at 11:30 and I can’t
decide if I want to finish this episode or get it on with T7S.  

Buffynicity
#3:
I just realized that Eric’s sister spikes the punch at the Christmas party in
the episode I started yesterday, so while Fun Bobby is struggling with alcohol on
Friends, there’s probably going to be some wild boozing on T7S.  So that is a real Buffynicity.

2/5/2021
11:00 AM I’ve decided to go ahead and get this episode over with, but what will
happen to the last half hour of burning?
It’s not as intense and overhwelming as yesterday, could something
constructive come out of it? I guess what comes to mind is the exhilaration of
my own imagination versus the enjoyment of the show.  I want the memory of the show when the evening
is over.  What memory do I want of this
replay I’m doing in my mind?  I comes
closer every day.

2/5/2021
11:05 AM Holy shit!  I’m glad I decided
to finish this episode!

Buffynicity
#4:
Chandler is talking to Joey about having sex with the casting director.  He says “Throw in a tree and a fat guy
and you’ve got Christmas!” – paralleling with the Christmas party in T7S
where the kids get drunk.

REVERSE
BUFFYNICITY!  Here’s a first.  Joey calls his pecker “The Little
General”.  Right after I turned off
the show for a bit and I started thinking about Napoleon.  It’s too complicated to explain why, but I
was thinking about the famous series of increasingly chickenshit headlines that
were published as he approached Paris after his return from exile.  Then when I restarted the episode Joey mentioned
“The Little General” again and I realized that that name had probably
gotten me thinking about Napoleon.  A
weird trend to explore. Especially since Lorn is a general.

Another
theme I’m hoping inspires something is Schwimmer playing Ross and Russ, and
Phoebe talking to Rachel about dating Ross as they both sit on the couch.  I hope it is a portent of something.

2/5/2021
12:29 PM

Buffyncity
#5: Wow!  Fez has three drunk girls all over him and
one says he looks like Ricardo Montalban!
So not only is it a reference to something I wrote before I watched, but
in these two shows have been mentioned both actors I cast as Lorn.

Buffynicity
#6:
I was writing about Ross and Russ, two characters played by the same actor, and
then I had a Buffynicity about two actors who I have cast for the same
character.  Furthermore, the theme I was
hoping would be developed did indeed lead to something.

Buffynicity
#7:
Those others were so spectacular that I will probably always remember
them.  Here’s another.  The villain, Lorn, has an old girlfriend who
takes the form of a gian spider sometimes.
In the Friends episode someone was talking about one of the other
friends buttering a spider into her toast.
Then, after I finished T7S, a friend sent me a Facebook friend request
for the virtual racing team he runs on his PC.
One of the pictures on his new page has a giant spider in it.  

Buffynicity
#8:  I wrote about being in court a couple
of days ago on Zoom.  Today at work one
of my coworkers was talking about also being in court on Zoom.  I have never heard anyone talk about that
before today – I had no idea it was possible until I got the ticket in
December.  So to have someone spontaneously
bring that up just two days after is certainly synchronous, although how does
it become Buffynicity?  Because I was
watching all the people on a video screen and thinking of the “Hill Street
Blues” theme.

 This is officially the most insane Buffynicity day I’ve had since the original run back in 2017.

I
spent almost an hour in court this morning – Evanston traffic court that is,
via Zoom from my bedroom.  It was
interesting.  My ticket for failure to
wear a seatbelt was dismissed because the cop didn’t show, but in the meantime
I got to watch a lot of “Hill Street Blues” action.  One guy had a warrant for his arrest but the
court date they sent him didn’t have a room number on it, so his lawyer was
running around looking for it.  Another
guy had charges dismissed but someone had filed a second warrant for him and
he’d gotten arrested for a case that had been dropped.  One guy failed to appear in court three times
because he said his bus card didn’t work.
It was fascinated to hear the judge talking to them, making jokes just
like in the movies.

 So
although I had been worried about this appearance since December 28th,
especially whether the whole courtroom via Zoom concept would work, and I had
been dreading this appearance all morning, it actually went smoothly and I
found myself having a good time.  

 A
lot of the dread was from Libra Moon this morning, I’m sure.  Scorpio Moon is much more fun.

 2/3/2021
10:54 AM I felt so good, so nostalgic or something after that court session
(especially since I didn’t have to pay any money).  I think possibly the Angel Picard might be
suggesting something to me.  I guess if I
was a social worker I could be around more people like that.  That is a type of life more worth living than
the scummy life of a rock musician like Marilyn Manson.

 2/3/2021
12:04 PM So much happened to me today, but I guess it’s not to be recorded for
humanity.  

 Buffynicity
#1:  Very mild, but they played “The
Courtship of Eddie’s Father” again at the end of the episode and
Pinciotti and Red were being pals, so I guess this reinforces the appearance
of the Angel Picard, as I spent most of the night thinking about him.  He’s bringing big changes.  I feel my experience in court was also a sign
of his presence, as his team has similar relationships. Or at least that’s how
I’m to imagine them. Probably at some point I’m going to start watching Hill
Street Blues again.

 While
I’m at it, I’m going to rave a little more about how easy and enjoyable this
courtroom experience was after more than a month of worry and a night of
dreading it.  It’s a tremendous release.

 I went through such an amazing transformation this morning and even now as I try
to write spirits are telling me not to.

I
spent almost an hour in court this morning – Evanston traffic court that is,
via Zoom from my bedroom.  It was
interesting.  My ticket for failure to
wear a seatbelt was dismissed because the cop didn’t show, but in the meantime
I got to watch a lot of “Hill Street Blues” action.  One guy had a warrant for his arrest but the
court date they sent him didn’t have a room number on it, so his lawyer was
running around looking for it.  Another
guy had charges dismissed but someone had filed a second warrant for him and
he’d gotten arrested for a case that had been dropped.  One guy failed to appear in court three times
because he said his bus card didn’t work.
It was fascinated to hear the judge talking to them, making jokes just
like in the movies.

So
although I had been worried about this appearance since December 28th,
especially whether the whole courtroom via Zoom concept would work, and I had
been dreading this appearance all morning, it actually went smoothly and I
found myself having a good time.  

A
lot of the dread was from Libra Moon this morning, I’m sure.  Scorpio Moon is much more fun.

2/3/2021
10:54 AM I felt so good, so nostaligic or something after that court session
(especially since I didn’t have to pay any money).  I think possibly the Angel Picard might be
suggesting something to me.  I guess if I
was a social worker I could be around more people like that.  That is a type of life more worth living than
the scummy life of a rock musician like Marilyn Manson.

2/3/2021
12:04 PM So much happened to me today, but I guess it’s not to be recorded for
humanity.  

Buffynicity
#1:  Very mild, but they played “The
Courtship of Eddie’s Father” again at the end of the episode and
Pinciottie and Red were being pals, so I guess this reinforces the appearance
of the Angel Picard, as I spent most of the night thinking about him.  He’s bringing big changes.  I feel my experience in court was also a sign
of his presence, as his team has similar relationships. Or at least that’s how
I’m to imagine them. Probably at some point I’m going to start watching Hill
Street Blues again.

While
I’m at it, I’m going to rave a little more about how easy and enjoyable this
courtroom experience was after more than a month of worry and a night of
dreading it.  It’s a tremendous release.

I
went through such an amazing transformation this morning and even now as I try
to write spirits are telling me not to.

The
nothingness is winding around itself again.
I’m struggling with the “root” issue … I have a heightened
state of awareness in which I feel halfway into another dimension, and I want
to talk to someone in that world, but part of me thinks that there’s no one
there to talk to.  But even as I’m
writing this information is flashing by my mind’s eye and the entire universe
seems to be changing.  

2/2/2021
1:20 AM I’m addressing some major issues tonight, I was looing at articles
about Marjorie Taylor-Greene and deciding whether I want that energy in my
life.  America is frightening but what
should I be doing to get my soul as far as possible?  

2/2/2021
1:57 AM Right now my focus is to “get something” for these
rituals.  I’ve accepted that I’m going to
have this job for another year before I get another raise and more time off.  It’s more work but more stability.  I’m having highs and lows.  Politics is more frightening, but the spirit
world is closer.  If I turn to the spirit
world, am I left defenseless in this horrifying world?  There’s nothing left in society to preserve
the values I once cared about.  I don’t
want to be in the war.  

I’m
seeing Harry Brant again, and he’s telling me he was on that famous phone call
that changed my life.  He’s helping me
visualize the life I want.  In life he
was the opposite of me, rich, glamorous, well-recognized.  He had everything I never have so he’s like a
mirror for me, an outer boundary.  One
thing he reminded me to do was play music while I work, not on headphones, but
on speakers so I have the right mood.
But tonight I’m not in that inverted, dreamy mood I was in a couple of
weeks ago.  Maybe it’s because the Moon
is in Libra, I don’t know.  However, I am
producing work.

I
had an important day yesterday.  The
Angel Picard appeared and I had a major back-and-forth with him.  I want to believe in him, but I doubt the
reality of guides in general.  This is so
difficult to express.  I’ve known so many
people with guides, and I believe they exist, but I’ve had to struggle so much
with the trivial guides of Hay House types, to find my place immune to their
pollution.  Politics is dismal now, this
world is hopelessly polluted …

So
the goal is Maximum Ride for the Tea Parties, which means focus on  … what?
What truly replenishes me?  I’ve
got to get away from the news and focus on my own perceptions.  There’s a shadow on Picard, he represents
failure as well as success.  Why can I
not now access the amazing perceptions I was having during the Virgo Moon?  Obviously, because it’s not the Virgo Moon
anymore.  That is some validation, that
the Moon signs this month went perfectly as expected, and were even more
pleasant than I’d expected because I was ready.
So here in this Libra moon I just accept that it’s time to work.  For the next year I’m just going to make
money and be bored, advancing in my own learning.  

Right
now I can feel the spirit presence, but I’m torn between worrying about the
future, and going off on a flight of fantasy.
Some force is driving me to make decisions, but it seems to go against
the grain of my spiritual presence.  

2/2/2021
2:33 AM Still moving with the Libra Moon, I’m having a session with Sheryl in
the morning.  I channeled extensively
last week and I still don’t know if I “got anything”.  Even though I did a very solid intuitive
reading for someone as well, even though the presences always come back, even
though all weekend I was rejoicing that the Virgo Moon brought exactly what I
expected in the way of supernatural vision, tonight I feel empty (although this
“emptiness” is still a kind of spiritual bliss compared to moods I
used to have).  Libra has always fucked
me up.  

This
emptiness is related to letting the past go. The spirits of the dead torture me
less and less now.  The visions I see are
receding.  And even though tonight feels
a little empty I know I’m doing good work with this blog, creating an important
record that will help me in the future.

2/2/2021
3:44 AM I just completed my review of December’s journal and I was very
impressed with myself.  I’m much more
focused and I am indeed accomplishing something with all this web activity,
even though it’s very messy and leaves me exposed to my enemies.  I’m just going to have to be exposed to my
enemies, that’s all.  I’ll never get
anything done either way.  Now I’m going
to try to make a 3D picture for the first time in a few weeks.

2/2/2021
3:57 AM I’m listening to “All Night Long” by Peter Murphy now, as I
catch up with Rendo downloads, thinking of all the times in the past I’ve felt
safe because I was in contact with the spirit world, like being in the audience
at Jenniffer Weigel’s events, or running the bookstore at Chicago IANDS.  Why do I have to spend so much time working,
being distracted from that?  And yet I
think an answer is going to come.
Yesterday at work I “dared” the Angel Picard to come up with
some kind of concrete answer or change as evidence of his validity, and I think
I’m getting it.

2/2/2021
4:03 AM Did I fail?  There was another
world … and I was certain I felt it at times.
I just couldn’t figure out what to do with it.

2/2/2021
4:33 AM It’s a good working, where I’m drifting in and out of the parallel
movie I live in, watching people at a distance, following their emotional
reactions.

2/2/2021
4:51 AM I’m working away, I found a couple of oversights in my catalogue. I’m
hearing the theme from Magnum in my head, and I’m thinking about the
changelessness of the session I’m about to have with Sheryl. I feel the
presences, but they do not affect the world in the way most observable
phenomena do.  I don’t have the language
for it now, but I’m getting in gear for it.

2/2/2021
5:41 AM I was messing around, reinstalling assets and getting bogged down with
costumes.  I’m playing “You’re Not
Alone” by Olive, which is a song I used to console myself with when Jerusha
was sucking on my soul, especially around that time she brought me to Toronto.

2/2/2021
6:38 AM I just got the big news that 5 former girlfriends of Manson have come
forward claiming he is a monster.  This
fits the dark mood of my evening very well.
All my opinions about rock music are going to change.  It’s a bit validating, considering how dark
this evening has felt.  

2/2/2021
7:59 AM Now I’m feeling very rushed, I messed around with 3D, getting hung up
on technicalities and details, and now I’ve just got two hours before my
session.  However, I’m largely doing
okay.  The Manson revelations were the
big deal of the evening, the validation of my creepy feeling of darkness.

2/2/2021
11:58 AM Fantastic!  I had a great
session with Sheryl.  Then I was going to
squeeze in the last five minutes of “The One With Phoebe’s Dad”
before bed and I got hit with two awesome Buffynicities.

Buffynicity
#1: This
one might not be so dead-on, but it made sense while I was watching, Phoebe
loses her imaginary dad, who she thought was a famous tree surgeon from Burma,
and learns where her real dad is, though she can’t bring herself to see him
yet.  In a similar way, I made a picture
this morning, “Destination Unknown: The Guides” and depicted the
being I’ve known as “The Angel Picard” for years now.  The “Picard” fiction is going away
and I’m dealing with him in concrete terms now as I channeled him extensively
today with Sheryl.

Buffynicity
#2 This
morning Harry Brant reminded me to play music on speakers instead of headphones
and as I was reviewing my notes from December I wound up playing
“Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls as I had been reading about playing so
much back before Christmas.  I find it a
very significant song and then at the end of the Friends episode Joey got Ross
two cans of “Iris” cola.

Buffynicity #3: Slightly tenuous, perhaps, but after
“Phoebe’s Dad”, in “Eric’s Buddy” it showed Eric and Buddy
in a montage set to “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father”, which is kind
of appropriate, as the Angel Picard has a bit of a paternal aspect to him.  He tells me now that he was my father in
another life, and maybe some other things.