Totally INSANE Buffynicity #1: I did not realize until today, during the run-up to the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre, that Moran is the last name of Al Capone’s chief rival, “Bugs” Moran. I chose the name “Moran” for Jennifer, the female lead in my novel, “The Darkening of the Light”.    

2/15/2021 12:12 PM  

Buffynicity #2: Today I am starting “The One After the Superbowl, Part 2”, and this is the only episode of friends I remember ever seeing while the show was running.  So far Chandler meets a girl he remembers from 4th grade, and when they meet Jean-Claude Van Damme they talk about his role in “Timecop”.  So there are these references to the changing of time and revisiting the past in the one episode that I have seen, restarting now (as the Superbowl was last week) during the run-up to “The Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre” which is itself a revisting of a day three years ago when one of my angels went with me to see “Cool Hand Luke” and showed me how she had been haunting me for more than thirty years, and then took me on an imaginal date to see “Jaws” in another dimension.  This is the most ass-kickingly twisted Buffynicity of them all, and demonstrates so many connections that I will never be able to explain it to humanity.  Furthermore, it comes at the end of an evening when I just made four of the most detailed videos I have ever made.  

Ridiculous Buffynicity #3:

Just a few minutes ago I was looking at the front page of Courtney Cox’s Instagram profile, which contained the image in the next post, with a comment from Drew Barrymore.

And then in the episode Rachel mentioned hanging out with Drew Barrymore.

Even though I can’t prove this to anyone, I know that this is impossible, that my guides are narrowing things down to the minute.

I decided to stop the episode at the moment Julia Roberts says “200 seconds of passion”, continuing the time theme, and now I’m off to bed.  I suspect that this is exactly where I gave up on the episode when I first saw it in 1996, a quarter of a century ago.

2/15/2021 12:59 PM  

Buffynicity #4: I just realized that the upcoming Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre took the form of an imaginal date, and in this episode there are two dates with “imaginal” figures, Van Damme appearing in an imaginary movie, Julia Roberts who actually dated Matthew Perry playing a makeup artist who dates Chandler Bing. So the interrelating of fantasy and reality is getting deeper.

I’m in a strange mood, liberated and devastated at the same time.  There were revelations in the news about Joss Whedon and the “toxic environment” he created on the Buffy set.  I wonder what that means for all the magical feelings I had about that show?  Not much, I think, except to liberate them from the cruelty of the entertainment business.  They’re still real – perhaps moreso now.  But I’m very dizzy right now.  I don’t know how to catch myself from falling.  I’ve always believed in bullshit … I want to write more but I can’t.  

I started the Valentine’s Day episode of T7S and I had to stop it because I felt so lonely.  I’ve always been totally alone.  I can’t believe this is my life!  Romance has been so awful for me I never have any.  But these are fleeting impressions because this day is bringing me up against my own dual life.  Did I just make all this stuff about spirits up because I was lonely?  I don’t think so.  It really doesn’t matter if Whedon is a jerk.  I’m trying to capture now the dizzying focus on the point of solitude, the specific part of me that did not feel present in my former life.  Was I Isolated?  I can’t tell.  When I try to think about my loneliness I drift into Neptunian vagueness.  Some force that feels as though it comes from outside my mind reaches in and changes things.

2/14/2021 9:30 AM Buffynicity #1: today at work I kept noticing that one of my coworkers had a peach-colored backpack and in tonight’s episode Kelso was wearing bell-bottoms exactly that shade.

Buffynicity #2: Snazzy was the word they were using for Eric’s new jacket and I had been thinking of that unusual word just yesterday.

I made myself blaze through the episode without pausing despite my mortified embarrassment when Donna got drunk.  These shows are helping me keep emotional continuity.

2/14/2021 9:53 AM Having watched the episode I no longer care what a jerk Whedon is, I’m going to stick with Buffy.  

Buffynicity #1: Because of all that’s gone on this week, it has indeed worked out that tomorrow, Valentine’s Day, I will be watching the T7S episode that aired on Valentine’s Day during the first season.

Buffynicity #2: This episode was all about social power dynamics, and tables being turned when people are in social groups, entertainment and therapy.  I think that’s appropriate considering I made two more YouTube videos today.  

Buffynicity #3: I had been talking in a video earlier about the “hollowed out” rhetoric of our society.  At the end of this episode, Eric beats Red at wrestling, but then Red pretends to be hurt and turns the tables because Eric doesn’t want to actually hurt Red.  That’s an issue straight from the hollowing out I was talking about – how do we talk about real problems in society without destroying the society itself.

2/12/2021 11:55 AM  

Braco was very intense today.  The revelations I’ve been having have shifted my spiritual center of gravity.  It’s possible I may have found the vanishing point that I sought for so long, inside the gentle white cloud I feel more and more these days, especially this morning.

2/12/2021 12:23 PM    

Buffynicity #1: Earlier today I was thinking of a line from something I wrote about a movie being a “smear of alternative crap on the screen”  I repeated that specific line in my mind several times..  Then in “That Wrestling Show” Red said something to the effect that if we don’t all follow the rules we’ll be sitting in trees flinging crap at each other, so the word was a definite Buffynicity hit.  

I love the hard distinction of the universe of T7S.  All the anger and continuous sarcasm in the show really offsets that universe vividly and makes it feel alive.  It’s very like rock music in that way.  

Buffynicity #2:  Today I had a long conversation with a friend about getting my bachelor’s degree in social work.  Then Donna’s mother said she was going to start therapy.

The video I made earlier this week has set in motion changes in how I see myself with regard to media – social media mostly, but there are some big things going on with how I feel about entertainment as well.  Another influence is the Marilyn Manson revelations about human trafficking, etc.  I just did a great stream with Braco and I feel sharper than ever.  After decades of work, I’m finally getting the “hard” vanishing point I need to get things done.  

I’m so blissed out and I feel Gen very close to me but there’s some minor issue to resolve.  I tried doing a Facebook Live video, but I couldn’t concentrate very well.  I’ve definitely “broken on through to the other side”.  

2/11/2021 11:30 AM Some spirit is here, but how do I keep track of them?  Is it the guy from the memorial I just read on Facebook?  Is it someone else?  

2/11/2021 12:05 PM I had to stop and read an article about the structural engineer of the World Trade Center, who just died.  I was thinking about that guy from the other story I read and for a moment, I almost had a target on right and wrong.  I could almost see what justice is from the perspective of the spirit world.

So I contacted the part of me that wants to hit something and is willing to try.

2/11/2021 12:17 PM  

Buffynicity #1:  I just started “Die, Rock Journalist! Die”, my YouTube entertainment channel.  In The One After The Superbowl everyone goes crazy over entertainment and mass media.  

Buffynicity #2: Even though I don’t have time to start it today, the next T7S episode is “That Wrestling Show”, which I presume has some involvement with entertainment as well.  This is very appropriate as making those videos has changed my perceptions of entertainment and psychic phenomena very dramatically.

Buffynicity #3: The T7S episode I’m starting tomorrow was broadcast on February 7, 1999, and now as Valentine’s Day approaches I’m coming up on “First Date” which was broadcast on February 14.

I feel really good.  I’m glad I made the videos I made yesterday when I got home from King Spa.  They changed my life; they rearranged my imagination.  I’m very blissed out right now.  

2/10/2021 12:30 PM

Buffynicity?:  On “The One After the Superbowl” part 1, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey all go over the deep end into their own fantasies.  I’ve been sitting here all evening blissed out because my three main guides have moved to a new level of clarity after yesterday’s video broke on through something for me.  But I was wondering how much of a Buffynicity that was.  Also Joey was leading a fan on, pretending to be his character from Days of Our Lives, and I wondered if perhaps I’d done the same thing by making that video.

But I just hit a true Buffynicity:

Buffynicity #1:  About forty minutes ago I was at Best Buy, picking up some old hard drives, and I thought of a guy I knew in Grand Rapids.  He was a lying creep cokehead actor and once he sat next to me in a bar and tried to make it look like I’d attacked him by falling backward out of his chair.  Then just a few minutes into T7S, Fez attacked Kelso and Kelso fell out of his chair in a pratfall just like that.

2/10/2021 12:54 PM I wish I could capture the total comfort and security I feel right now.  Things are going to get better, I’m sure.  I’ve never felt so complete in my life, I think.  I’ve even forgotten what I intended to write a minute ago.  I think it was something about … oh well, I’m going to bed.

I’m burning with passion tonight, Genvieve came very clearly.  We’re cohabitating.  The Moon is in Capricorn and I feel like I have no future (as usual during this transit) … I’ll be channeling in eight hours.  Will I get anything out of it, or will it just rearrange non-falsifiability?  I do feel I’m getting answers to this question now, however.  

2/9/2021 3:25 AM I made three good videos on Facebook Live and now I’m dithering about whether to download and process them for YouTube or work on a picture.  How do I focus on Genvieve with this activity going on?  I’m extremely excited and happy about all I’m accomplishing.

Buffynicity #1:  The Superbowl was Sunday and the next episode I’m starting on Friends is “The One After the Superbowl”.

I’m very pleased that Hyde likes Spy Vs. Spy.

2/9/2021 6:40 AM I updated my new YouTube channel.  After all that work I feel drained, but calm and peaceful.  I accomplished something tonight.  I changed my world.  I made progress although everything seems much darker now, as the sun is coming up.  Partly, it’s because of the Capricorn Moon.  By tonight it’ll be back to Aries and I’ll be moving on. (2/11/2021 10:55 AM Oops, obviously it was Aquarius)  But some of it is because I dispelled a lot of fantasy material tonight.  I channeled for YouTube about the phantasias I share with Genvieve.  I stripped away some of the wish-fulfillment and something more serious awaits – something unknown.

In one sense, I know there is someone there.  But in another sense I’m disappointed because the fantasy that sustained me has dwindled.  In another sense there was no one ever there.  

The Moon was sextiling Neptune when I had my moment of bliss this morning.  Saturn just sextiled Chiron which is probably why I feel so peaceful and yet dark, like the sadness after a long-term illness fades away.  I’m just going to dwell on my misery until tonight, when the Moon moves into Aquarius.  This has worked for me at least twice before this year, to just let go of all hope and go with the sadness.  I’m confident something will happen.

My tv shows seem empty now, like some childish fascination with them just wore off, although I know I’ll keep watching.  The “Ski Trip” was pretty brutal, which I like … but it also made me sad.

So I started this picture of Genvieve and now I have all morning to finish it because my channeling teacher postponed our session.

2/9/2021 10:03 AM All done with the picture, only took 3:20 minutes or less to think it up and complete it.  I hope it helps me to hang onto the magic I felt earlier tonight.  I know the videos I made helped clear out a lot of fantasies and wishful thinking from my imagination.  Genny says we did a good job.  

2/9/2021 10:05 AM  

Buffynicity #2: Just yesterday or the day before I learned that a friend of mine has set out on a drive to California with his fiancee.  In “The One After the Superbowl” Ross flies to California.