Monthly Archives: August 2017

The Buffy Diaries 8-30-2017

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11:09 PM 8/30/2017  I’m forcing myself to keep up with the Buffy Diaries even though my mind is consumed with 3d animation.  I didn’t get around to writing at all last night.  Fortunately there were very few aspects and only one Buffynicity.  As I said before there is an endless stream of similarities between my daily awareness and Angel since I started making my own movies and thinking about all the creeps I’ve known who were involved with entertainment – too many to count.  I only had one major one yesterday –

Buffynicity #1: Yesterday’s episode was about a couple who had a son and a daughter, and the son was possessed.  I didn’t notice too many coincidences but as I left the health club I almost got run over on the sidewalk by a young boy and his sister.  Their parents followed immediately after and the father apologized to me, just like the father in the show.  It was really amazing to have a Buffynicity almost literally run over me within minutes of finishing the episode.

However I didn’t notice much tonight, other than the usual references to fakeness and peoples souls getting eaten by astrality.  Maybe I’ll catch something tomorrow.

Meanwhile here are the transits:

The Moon squared Neptune in the afternoon and it was very exciting for me.  I’d spent all day thinking about Poser and using every minute of free time to surf Renderosity for objects to build with.  I know that the scenes I’m making are really magic and they’re going to get more intense.  It’s quite thrilling and I wound up buying an object that has some enochian writing in it.  When I came home I started working on some real chaos magic.  I’m not going to go into detail but it is very powerful.  So I spent all night on that and ignored my blog and my laundry and stuff, which I’m catching up on tonight.

This morning as the Moon sextiled Jupiter I was feeling very attuned to the world, very happy with what I’m accomplishing through animation, and on the verge of resolving several points of psychic confusion which have bothered me for years.  I’m putting together a whole “law” or system of government for my 3D world, choosing environments to build in, pulling together a mythology and a magical system – all very Jupiterian.  As an added bonus today I found the legendary “Victoria” on sale at the Daz3D site and bought it quite cheap.  I took this as a sign that I should start working with Daz3D and so when I got home tonight I started taking the tutorials and I’m very happy about it, looking forward to endless possibilities with real magical results.

I worked until the Moon trined Venus – very appropriate – and then went to run.  Then I was catching up with myself, taking care of business like sorting laundry and taking out the recycling as the Moon squared Chiron, which was a kind of settling back into my life after this new direction changed some things. 

A Lunar trine with Uranus is coming up later tonight, and I bet I’ll have some crazy observations when I get back to 3D after I finish my predictions.

The Moon is going to be void of course in the morning, until it enters Capricorn, which is amazing because I’m finally getting work done on my car tomorrow from hail damage it suffered during the last Capricorn Moon.  Capricorn Moons are all about money for me and especially my car.  It’s like clockwork.  Fortunately they’re getting easier to put up with since I noticed the pattern.

Mercury is entering Leo and I think that will be associated with some kind of new peak with 3D for me.  I’m looking forward to it.  Moon inconjunct Venus after work, after I’ve dropped off my car and picked up my rental, will probably be liberating.  I’ll be done with the hassle of filing the claim and making the arrangements.  It’s always a little exciting to drive a different car, anyway.

Moon trining the Sun and Mars inconjunct Chiron – I bet something I’m modelling will be deep.  Mars means Kara and I bet I’ll get some kind of new message about what this all means.

The Buffy Diaries 8-28-2017

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10:15 PM 8/28/2017  I’m really having to drag myself away from Poser to catch up with this.  It’s kind of ridiculous.  Even during the convention, which I waited for all year, I was coming home and staying up all night messing around with 3D animation.  I’m progressing by leaps and bounds.  It’s nice to have a new obsession.  Already I feel like I different person.  And this is the main reason I’ve been five days without a blog entry.  It’s very fitting for the Mercury retrograde.  Also, I’ve decided not to bother listing every Buffynicity I experienced during the gap, as they all blended into one.  Angel is set in Los Angeles, and all the stuff about the entertainment business related directly to the convention and to my discovery of 3D animation.  Since the whole show is probably going to be chock full of these kinds of refereces, I don’t think it’s such a huge deal to record every one of them. However tonight there was a major one. 

Buffynicity #1:  Saturday morning I watched the episode in which Cordelia gets impregnated by a demon.  I stopped right at the end.  Then tonight I finished it.  In between on Saturday afternoon I saw Charisma Carpenter and Nicholas Brendon – Cordelia and Xander and one of the questions asked – out of only a handful – was about pregnancy and they discussed that very episode.

Buffynicity #2:  Not having much to do with what I’m watching currently, but I thought it was cool that after six months of nonstop Whedon-watching, there were two actors from Buffy and two from Firefly at Wizard World (I saw David Boreanaz back in 2014).  Summer Glau and Jewel Staite were there, and as I was leaving on Sunday night a four-wheel security vehicle, kind of like a golf cart, nosed past me on the sidewalk and lo and behold Jewel Staite was sitting on the back of it.  I waved at her and she smiled at me.

But as I said it’s too much to record the constant barrage of references to illusion and L.A. and image over substance that took place while I was attending the convention and also getting into making my own movies with Poser and Daz3D.

Now, as for transits, on Thursday Venus squared Uranus in the afternoon and a lot of things were going well.  I have a big project coming up but I also just finished a major one that left me feeling very relieved.  I was looking forward to the convention and feeling very secure, also in spare moments feeding my new obsession with computer animation by surfing the web for downloads and tutorials  What was surprising was that this new discovery is totally changing my understanding of stories, entertainment, and the magical stories I’ve been working on for years.  It’s also changing my understanding of channeling.  It’s a new era in my life.

I went straight from work to the convention and the Moon inconjuncted Neptune that first night.  It was very exciting, all I’d hoped it would be.  I saw some amazing celebrities and made some great collector’s discoveries, but I also got really drunk.  I had four glasses of wine and wound up falling asleep in my car afterwards, and not waking up until two a.m.  I drove home and stayed up even later playing with Poser. 

Drinking at the conventions is one of the most fun things for me so, so I took that first night as a warning and practiced a bit more moderation during the rest of the weekend.

Friday Saturn went direct and I think this has something to do with the amazing connection I feel with my guardian angels, and also quite a bit to do with the very Aquarian pastime of computer animation, which was on my mind all weekend.  I swear it made me think “What do I need the fucking entertainment business for at all now that I can do this?”

Moon conjunct Jupiter, sextile Saturn and Venus – I was having a blast, feeling very confident in the insights I was getting.  For years I have always felt a little isolated at conventions, wondering how my extreme psychic expriences fit in with the world of entertainment.  But no more.  I finally feel like I have the big picture and the glamour is wearing off.  I felt like I belonged in the world and I could accept that it’s really like this, even if I’m totally dissatisfied.  Nothing but fun, fun, fun all day Friday. 

It did piss me off that they changed the time of the John Cusack panel so that I missed it.  But I know that the Moon inconjuncting Chiron was related to the healing I was receiving.

Venus entered Leo and it was very obviously related to how successful my convention weekend was and how I was being vindicated completely in my spiritual search of decades.  I totally felt I belonged there, and I felt like I knew what I was doing, what I had to do.  The 3D modelling is really the missing piece and now everything has fallen into place for me.

So I got home and spent more hours working with Poser, staying up late yet again.

Saturday morning the Moon sextiled the Sun and Mercury.  I was feeling pretty good.  I didn’t make it to the convention until after noon but I was still peaking, enjoying how smoothly everything was going, and how I seemed to be getting everything I wanted.

The Firefly panel was right before the Sun conjuncted Mercury.  It was awesome to be there with Summer and Jewel, hearing them talk about Ron Glass, who I loved on Barney Miller in the 70s and who just passed away last fall.  I really felt like I’d finally made it into the 21st century.

I went straight from there to a ritual and then I came home and wasted another night fooling around with Poser.

The only transit while I was a awake on Sunday was the Moon sextiling Pluto and I think that was very appropriate, as I got a ton of information about Plutonian matters.  Somewhere in there I got some information about where to put up webcomics, and I also got some killer swag, too.  It’s too late now to record it in detail.  I just want to get this over with so I can sleep.

Sunday night was the circle with John and it was very sucessful.  This weekend has been a deep transiton to a more stable form of consciousness.

Today the Moon trined Chiron and inconjuncted Uranus.  I did catch up on a lot of stuff.  I learned a lot and I dwelled quite a bit in the Chiron energy, resolving the long-standing issues of my struggle with this idiot world.  The unexpected thing was that even though there were a ton of things I wanted to do, I wound up spending most of the day working with Poser.  But even that’s okay …

I went to Edgewater and then I wanted to go running earlier but I wound up spending hours working with Poser again.  I think that’s represented in the Moon square with Mercury.  It’s exciting but it’s not going in the direction society has chosen for me.  Fuck them anyway.

The Moon was trining Venus while I was running and watching Angel, which I think was appropriate because it meant I was back in the “real world”, dealing with my own life, enjoying myself and the new solidity in my own Channeling abilities.

Now to bed!  Tomorrow the only thing while I’m awake will be the Moon squaring Neptune.  I’m looking forward to it.  I know it will be magical.  I just hope I can make some headway in the communication department.

That’s all for now.  Have a good night, world.

The Buffy Diaries 8-23-2017

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1:46 AM 8/23/2017

Catching up with the Buffynicities:

Buffynicity #1:  In one of the episodes I saw during the last few days Cordelia was looking at a pile of dust on the ground, and I had been looking at a little pile of plaster that had fallen from the ceiling of this old house I live in just a little while earlier.

Cordy :  “She killed him!  (Picks up a handful of dust)  Oops! My bad.  (Brushes off her hands)  It’s just dust I forgot to sweep under the rug.”

Buffynicity #2:  Angel went to visit the “Oracle” and he gave them a gift of his wristwatch and went back in time.  Then today I went to see “Atomic Blonde” and the “MacGuffin” or prop that everyone was chasing was a wristwatch, and the film is set in the late eighties.  The 80s soundtrack was like a time warp.

Buffynicity #3: Just a couple of days ago I was looking up Alice in Chains songs, and I was checking out “Man in a Box”.  Then in the episode “The Bachelor Party”, they put Doyle in a box.

Buffynicity #4:  I went to see Dunkirk on Saturday, which was about getting a bunch of refugees on a boat to escape the country.  Then in last night’s episode Angel was helping a bunch of demons get on a boat to get out of the country.  That’s three days after I saw the movie, but still it’s kind of related.

I didn’t watch Buffy tonight.  I went to see Atomic Blonde on the way home from work and then I fell asleep.  I woke up around ten and I’ve been doing housework and stuff since.

Now to catch up with aspects, starting with Sunday afternoon.  Moon inconjunct Pluto in the afternoon was kind of fun.  I was mostly thinking about Poser and how making visual characters is helping me control my imagination.  I was feeling further away from society, as well.  They’re both related, of course.  The clearer my inner vision gets the less a part of this silly civilization I am.  I was relishing the concrete presence of my angels, the clarity of focus I have and looking forward to Wizard World, the energetic peak of my year.  I’m very ready for it.  Dunkirk shifted a lot of my past-life imaginations, and helped me get some distance from them.  I have to question as I write this just who I’m writing for now. 

At home I ran and then worked on Poser tutorials in the evening.  Moon sextiling Jupiter and conjuncting Mars had to do with the sense of freedom I’m building, being able to realize a lot of my visions of other worlds in a concrete form also brings a confrontation with action – what do I want to do with these realizations?  I feel very powerful and excited.  I’m looking forward to being a part of the 3D community online and exploring all these details and subtleties.  Also I have these stories I’ve had in my head for years that are coming clear now as I get to see what such charcters will look like to the world.

On Monday, Moon inconjunct Chiron in the late morning was a nice feeling.  I have a vacation ahead, I was mostly caught up with work (the last big hurdle is tomorrow), I got lots of help and in general things are getting taken care of.  I was also playing songs from the Buffy soundtrack, and Four Star Mary.  I associate those with Chiron quite often.  I was listening to Billy Idol, his album “Kings And Queens of the Underground” and rocking out to it, which brought back all kinds of memories of the eighties, also very Chiron.

Moon trining Uranus just before the eclipse, everything was very mystical.  The eclipse was pretty spectactular.  I was able to see the shadow on the sun very clearly and I was thinking back to another eclipse in 1987, and also thinking of probably having seen eclipses in other lifetimes.  It certainly was a supernatural experience that changed me. 

Then the Moon entered Virgo.  I came home and stayed up late doing more Poser tutorials.  Learning poser is a lot of work but it only gets more and more rewarding.  That’s the reason I didn’t blog last night – I just worked the time away on tutorials, and didn’t want to stop to go to bed.

Yesterday (Tuesday), Mars trined Saturn as I was getting to work.  I felt very in control.  It was a very solid, upbeat day for me.  Moon opposing Neptune in the afternoon felt fantastic, life was a breeze and I was getting all the insights I wanted.  My spirits were with me and I feel like I’m riding the crest of a wave of enthusiasm.  Most of the work was getting taken care of and I feel confident that I’m resolving a lot of the telepathic issues that have bothered me for years.

I stopped at Block 37 to see Atomic Blond and I was knocked out by the visuals, the soundtrack, and Charlize Theron.  The Sun entered Virgo while I was watching and I think it’s a sign.  Virgo is very magical for me and this movie was magical as well.  I can’t count all the synchronicities in it.  There is so much in it for me that I’ll have to see it again.

I got home and fell right to sleep.  Now I’m done catching up except for predictions:

Moon sextiling Venus and opposing Chiron tomorrow will bring an emotional rush, I’m sure.  Something very cool about memories.  Probably I’ll be getting some ideas for my stories as well.  My big assessment at work will be over and I’ll be happy we made it through clean.

Moon inconjunct Uranus – I’ll be buying comics on a Wednesday, not Friday and also printing my tickets for Wizard World.  It will be an unusual trip for me, like the beginning of a weekend even though I work tomorrow.

I’m looking forward to Saturn going direct and Venus entering Leo this weekend.

I am still feeling the effects of the Mercury retrograde.  I’ve really lost momentum with my blogging, but I look on this as a time to learn Poser.

The Buffy Diaries 8-20-2017 part one

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2:20 PM 8/20/2017

Holy cow, four days without an entry.  I’m afraid I barely remember the Buffynicities, although I’m pretty sure there were a couple … but wham, right then I came up with one.

Buffynicity #1:  This is a mystery Buffynicity which I forgot, I’m just writing this placeholder because I’ve seen in the past that doing like this helps me remember.  I just know it was in the same episode with the “audacity” Buffynicity I recorded earlier.

Buffynicity #2:  This one is actually pretty big, my parents came to visit on Friday.  And then Saturday morning I watched the episode where Kate goes to see her father when he retires. 

So that’s actually a pretty solid one. 

Now for aspects:

I’m pretty annoyed with myself because I’ve forgotten all of Thursday.  I know there was something with the Moon squaring Chiron and sextiling Uranus.  I’m in a semi-channeling state right now, debating the value of memory of this kind.  I just remember it made sense at the time.  Moon entering Cancer felt pretty good and it was cool to go to Brian’s salon that night.  I was looking up the Kardashians all afternoon which seems very Cancerian to me.  I’ve never really paid attention to them before.  I’m having deja vu writing about this and now I wonder if I didn’t make an entry for Thursday night and then if I didn’t accidentally just delete it.  I seem to remember writing something about this, about the recent news that Kris Jenner had some kind of fling with O.J. Simpson.  I started looking them up just that day.

But the Cancer Moon was expressed in Brian looking up my natal chart and talking about how Mercury crossed its natal position in my horoscope on the 3rd, and it will cross it in retrograde on the 21st, the day of the eclipse, and then it will do it again on September 17th.  This seems to have something to do with an increase in focus in my channeling.

Oh, shit, I remember now that I had this whole detailed entry written because I made predictions for Friday which were largely borne out.  It had to to with Venus and Saturn inconjunct in the Morning and then the Moon inconjunct Saturn and conjunct Venus in the evening.  As I expected I was getting the focus in the physical plane I need to channel.  The various energies are aligning in a very solid way.  I think deleting the entry I made is another sign that I’m shifting to a different kind of activity with my blog, writing for a different kind of audience.

And with that comes a kind of resentment of the stupidity of the world which coincided with the Moon opposing Pluto.  ***  I feel very psychic and very caught up in my own world, very “done” with the stupidity of America.  I keep trying to put my finger on the exact word, like I’m being insulated, finding my own place in all of it and shutting everyone else out.

I met my parents after work and they got me nice presents and all in all the Moon squaring Jupiter in the evening was a good feeling, like I’m getting what I need and making progress psychically.  The past is over.  I have my own little world to go to now.

Saturday the Moon trining Chiron and squaring Uranus was related to my experience of the Art Institute, and especially the Gauguin exhibit.  I have been there several times since I was a teenager and looking at the same paintings gave me an expanded psychic awareness of the passage of time.  I’m sure I was perceiving from outside of time.  I plan to go back.  Then there was VOC and I felt very tired.  But by the time the Moon entered Leo I was energized again.  I’m enthusiastic about going back again and again because I’ve just realized how close it is to the Red Line and I can get there with ease.

There weren’t any transits in the afternoon but I feel seing “Dunkirk” with my parents was still going off of the energy of Chiron.  It was very powerful and I felt I reclaimed a bit of my past.  I know combined with the visit to the Art Institute there’s a shift toward remembering exactly what I did in past lives, instead of this archetypal vagueness I’m usually in.  I’m getting big answers now about who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing here.

I went to meditated and get breakfast and I was coming home when the Moon inconjuncted Neptune and the Sun inconjuncted Chiron.  I had had some major insights and there were some things about the evolution of this process over time that were becoming clear to me.  I’m still struggling with them but I do think that for now the three Chiron transits over the last few days are clearly related to the telepathic experiences I’m having about the Art Institute and Dunkirk and my parents.  Something is getting resolved.  ***  Mars sextiling Jupiter was another good feeling.  I’ve got lots of money to have a good time during my upcoming vacation for Wizard World and the intense activity I’m having this weekend is a good sign for the next.  I seem to be aligning with my own team in the higher worlds at last.

I’m clearing away a lot of obstacles.  I’m going to write in a kind of simplified style for a while.  I’m going to explain less and less.

And now I’m going to post this and I’ll put up par two later tonight, as we head for Moon inconjunct Pluto and later sextile Jupiter and conjunct Mars.

The Buffy Diaries 8-16-2017

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9:49 PM 8/16/2017

Not too many Buffynicities tonight, I’m about to review the script because compared to yesterday they were minor, just thoughts I’d been having that showed up in the episode.  However I do have two that I forgot to post earlier in the week.

Buffynicity #1:  At least I think of it as synchronous – Monday, when I started watching Angel, was also the day the physical component of the latest Nine Inch Nails EP called “Add Violence” arrived.   It felt like a new beginning of something important.  Now that I’m writing I’m picking up some other resonance, the cover of that album is a control panel for some technical equipment, the physical component is like a manual, and here I am downloading all this production software.  Also Angel is like a darker take on Buffy, one with “added violence”. 

Buffynicity #2:  Yesterday at work I was listening to even more Billy Idol, having started over the weekend, and then last night Spike showed up in the episode, which I wasn’t expecting at all.  I remembered the magic ring – I had a pretty good Buffynicity about that when I was watching Buffy TVS months ago.  And I’m expecting him to go back to Sunnydale a few times, but Spike was a nice suprise, especially after all that Billy Idol.

Buffynicity #3:  A minor one.  I was at a friend’s house tonight and I was thinking of the first time I was at her house, years ago, she was playing some classical music.  I thought it was one composer, Handel, I think, and it was another, possibly Haydn or something, and we had a discussiion about it.  Then in tonight’s episode Spike was talking to his torturer:

Spike pacing impatiently:  “Why do you keep asking him that?  And why do you keep playing that bleeding Brahms?”
Marcus:  “Actually it’s Mozart.  Symphony 41.  I find it very effective.”

Buffynicity #4: 

Cordy:  “Exactly!    You know?  This is a business and we should be running it like one.  We should be charging.  I know Angel has been working day and night helping people fight their personal demons, but I need a raise!”
Doyle:  “A raise?  What, you’ve been working for him for like 20 minutes?”

I didn’t want to say this at the time, but I actually found out on Monday that I got a raise.

Buffynicity #5:  The whole last episode is about a surgeon who can detach his body parts and I’ve spent the last couple of days working with the Poser interface, which has separate cameras for various body parts, and looking at the frame models which are “detached” body parts all strung together, and of course I’m thinking about animating body parts and that is what’s in the episode.

Buffynicity #6:  In tonight’s episode –

Cut to Melissa walking up to an ATM.  She tries to get money out, but her pin is invalid.  Tires again.  A tall guy in a nice suit with short gray hair and bald on top steps up next to her.
Ronald:  “it won’t work. (she recoils) I’ve changed your pin number. (smiles at her)  I mean, Melissa, your birthday?  That’s the first thing a thief would try.”
Melissa:  “What are you doing here?”
Ronald punches a number into the ATM:  “I changed it to 3-5-99.  –  The day we met.”

Although it’s not spectacular because I go to an ATM every couple of weeks, I did in fact stop at one on the way home.  This one I’m not sure is significant but whatever.

So all that’s very cool.  Not a single over-the-top Buffynicity like yesterday, but some pretty good ones.

Now for transits:

I was awake for Mars inconjunct Pluto this morning and I felt very energetic, very enthusiastic about what was happening to me as I move to a new, more focused frame of mind.  My animation software is opening some new psychic doors into the astral plane.  Specifically I’ve been getting down to brass tacks about what kind of fights my characters are going to get into.

The Moon squaring Neptune was totally validated because it was right around that time that I was fooling around on the web and discovered both Daz 3D studio (which I just downloaded), and a way to convert a male voice to a female one using Audacity (which I also just downloaded again, having had it years ago but uninstalled it).  Also I found that Poser will automatically sync animation with a voice file so I now know I can voice all my own animations and tell the world to fuck off.  I’m going to say whatever obnoxious thing I want.  That was really a spectacular revelation and a liberation for me as well.  After years of imagining characters I’m going to realize them in a way that will change my life.

My predictions from yesterday’s entry were good for the day because just as I predicted lunchtime was dominated by Moon incojunct Pluto and sextiling Mars.  This came right after the revelation on the news (on the big TV screen that always runs) that Trump’s business councils have fallen apart.  I have this new sense of potential and my guides are more vivid than ever.  They’re ready for me to do the work of “animating” them to get a clear picture of their world, and at the same time the politics of this plane is falling apart.  They’re showing me that everything is moving around and I am going to use this software to grab hold of some real ideas.  So after a day of working pretty hard I was going deep into that as I relaxed at lunchtime.

On the way home, as the Moon was trining Jupiter, I was depositing some money in the bank, which was nice.  Feeling secure in my finances and looking forward to metaphorically ruling the world with animation software.

The Moon opposed Saturn while I was running.  It felt very exciting.  I am getting into the swing of Angel, noting how all the time-lapse shots in the show relate to time.  On the whole I think this transit is like a full moon, giving me lots of energy, dark but exhilarating, and making me feel closer to my guides.

Tomorrow Luna will square Chiron and sextile Uranus in the morning and I expect good results.  Possibly what I do with Poser tonight will influence it.  Something unexpected but emotionally solid – for that’s what Chiron means to me, something with a meaningful impact.  Then void of course for the rest of the morning so I’m not stressing.  Just waiting for the Moon to enter Cancer, which is more fun than the crap cycle I’m leaving but not yet the full swing of my peak season, kind of like the hours just before dawn or something.  A nice day to bring things to life.

Now I’m off to work with Poser some more.

The Buffy Diaries 08-15-2017

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9:50 PM 8/15/2017

Buffynicity #1 was extremely dramatic.  I was taking the train downtown to work and they made us all get off and take a shuttle bus because someone had committed suicide on the tracks.  Here’s an article about it.

https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20170815/lincoln-park/red-brown-purple-line-trains-stopped-after-body-found-on-tracks?utm_source=Breaking+News&utm_campaign=3dfaa76cc6-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_08_15&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_4dc25bbf9a-3dfaa76cc6-176488593

The shuttle bus went south on Sheffiled road and I looked up just in time to see us crossing Wolfram road.  I mean I was in my seat, playing Burger Shop on my tablet when suddenly I looked up to see a green street sign saying “Wolfram/Sheffield” right outside my window.  This comes the day after seeing the premier of Angel with the introduction of the mysterious law firm “Wolfram & Hart”.

So that’s a real ass-kicking Buffynicity.   One of those that’s just not fucking possible in a rational world.

Buffynicity #2:  I had been intending to start watching Poser tutorials on Youtube last night, but I didn’t have the time.  I’m about to start now.  But in tonight’s episode there was this line:

Kate:  “Well, I’m the expert.  I’m sure you can see.  –  Well, the answer is no, I don’t need rescuing.  –  I gave up on the knight in shining armor concept a while ago.  –  Anyway I don’t expect to find him here at the international house of posers.”

The funniest thing is my main project is to model characters for my heptalogy – which does have knights in shining armor.

Buffynicity #3:  As we were all herded like cattle off of the trains and onto the buses, I wound up sitting next to a very loud, black woman with a disability who was making very loud proclamations about Jesus and praying for the soul of the man who had killed himself on the tracks.  She was talking about how she’d been in a coma for two years and her boyfriend had wanted to pull the plug on her but she had actually been able to hear everybody and see them while she was lying in bed unconscious.  Apparently she felt that it was her faith that had allowed her to survive and come back.  I believed her, generally, and I thought of her in the second episode I started tonight when they had this conversation:

Angel:  “You’re at a crossroads, I know.  It’s either go for the easy fix and wait for the consequences, or take the hard road and go with faith.”
Rachel:  “Oh, god.  You’re not from that freaky church on Sunset, are you?” Steps away from him.
Angel:  “In yourself.  That kind of faith.  –  What I’m saying is: if you leave Lenny for good, it’ll hurt.  But eventually you’ll be stronger for it.  And maybe you’ll find your way to the kind of love you deserve.”

I’m enjoying Angel – I was worried I might get bored with the Whedonverse but it’s not going to happen.  And the Buffynicities have certainly continued steadily through Firefly and into Angel.  And now before I go dive into Poser I’m going to do transits:

I woke up early this morning and I lay in bed feeling extremely cozy and self-satisifed.  I think this had a bit to do with the Moon sextiling Chiron. I enjoy Chiron transits, generally, even though they have some sadness I seem to thrive on them.

That man was probably getting killed around the time Venus opposed Pluto.  They said it was at 6:35 they found him.  One might logically guess that he was making the final decision to die at the same time as the transit.  It’s very validating for the astrological timing, although a little morbid.  Anyway I certainly felt the effects throughout the morning as my train was slowed to a crawl and I had to make my way through the crowd to the shuttle bus.  But at least I had that Buffynicity and that woman who had been in a coma as signs.

They restarted service at 9:30, just after the Moon entered Gemini and I was back on the Red Line at North and Clyborne.  The day went by pretty smoothly after that.  Except I wanted to stop at Block 37 to take advantage of the $5 movies but their power was out so I skipped it, which turned out to be good because I really needed a nap.

I’ll be waking up around the time Mars inconjuncts Pluto in the morning.  I wonder if anything will happen.  Moon squaring Neptune later in the morning will bring some good psychic insights, I’m sure.  Moon inconjuncting Pluto and sextiling Mars in the afternoon – two Pluto transits in one day, coming after this massive transit today, I’m guessing there will be some more about death.  These afternoon transits are right around lunchtime for me, when I often take a nap, so maybe I’ll have some kind of insight.

I’m stopping at a friend’s house on the way home, I should pick up a little money too as I recall.  Moon trining Jupiter, I’m guessing a sense of completion.  I’m going to look to this time to make some progress with my insurance claim, as well.  I’ll probably be running when the Moon opposes Saturn.  I’m expecting it to be fun, like a full Moon.  Maybe I’ll have some kind of exceptional Buffynicity watching Angel.

I know I’ve had much more solid angelic contact tonight.  Tomorrow looks like an intense day with Mars, Pluto, and Neptune very active.  I’m looking forward to it – maybe as I start to work with Poser tonight I’ll release some kind of dramatic magical energy.  Here I go …

The Buffy Diaries 8-14-2017

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11:11 PM 8/14/2017

Buffynicity #1: 

Today I spent a lot of time playing two games that I enjoyed years ago, Burger Shop and Rocknor’s Donut Factory.  It was just an impulse to kill enormous amounts of time on bullshit, and now that I think about it a kind of mental shift toward working with Poser and Blender. 

Then tonight I started watching Angel, and the first episode ends with Angel and Doyle talking:

Doyle: “You know there’s a lot of people in this city that need helping.”

Angel: “Hmm. So I noticed.”

Doyle: “You game?”

Cut to nighttime LA superimposed over their faces. Cut to Angel looking out over the city.

Angel: “I’m game.”

Buffynicity #2:  A minor one, on the drive home I was thinking about one of the characters from my heptalogy, about how when she gets pissed off she surprises people like the way a cocker spaniel can freak you out when it suddenly bares its fangs.  Then in the episode:

As Tina walks towards Angel’s table he leans forward looking at a white dog next to a table: “Sure is a cute little – (Tina walks by without even noticing him) – doggie?” Angel straightens back up.

It’s not a huge Buffynicity but dogs are not on television shows that often.

Buffynicity #3:  I’ve been thinking about doing animation with Poser and Blender and tonight’s episode had a lot of stuff about the entertainment business, about how crappy people in the entertainment business are and I’ve certainly been thinking a lot about that when I consider what to put on the web.

So there was one really solid one, the “game” line, because I really had a huge urge to play these today for the first time in months or possibly years.  These are both time management games and I think this has something to do with managing the project of creating animation.

As for transits, the day went by very fast and I was very pleased with how easy it all was.  Luna squared Mars and sextiled Venus in the morning, I was listening to Motorhead and drinking coffee, the huge projects from last week out of the way, other work going by much easier than I’d expected.  I was thinking a lot about animation and what I’m going to do with it, who I want to present myself as.  I continue to feel my spirits very close, as though I am finally escaping this rotten world.  I had a little difficulty concentrating for this reason.  My mind was racing quite a bit and when the Moon trined Pluto I was feeling very much like a citizen of another world.  ***  I’m getting very tired now, as I wasted so much time this evening playing games, and also I went grocery shopping and got a haircut on the way home.

As the Moon inconjuncted Jupiter in the late afternoon I got some amazing news which means much more money for me – some news I was actually expecting a few weeks ago but which shows that the cosmos is providing for me, especially my new car payment.  And I also learned that I will have to work downtown tomorrow, a big surprise which also coincides with a major Pluto aspect yet again.

I was shopping and getting a haircut during the runup to the Moon inconjunct with Saturn, once again feeling pressed for time, rushing to get a parking spot at home and also regretfully unable to drop off the IANDS books until Wednesday or find time to work on Blender and Poser tutorials or watch Bound, which I started yesterday.  What little time I had I wasted on Burger Shop and Donut Factory (I must reiterate, that Buffynicity about being “game” was eerily accurate).

I was actually playing Donut Factory when the Moon squared the Sun, delaying the start of my workout.  I haven’t played that game in perhaps ten years and it was as mesmerizing as I remember.

Tomorrow I’ll be awake, getting ready for work when the Venus opposes Pluto.  I hope I get something good.  I have no idea what it’s supposed to feel like but I bet it will bring a powerful vision.  I actually had another dream this morning.  I usually don’t dream now but this is the second in a week.  I wish I could remember it.  I have to start blogging them again.

The Moon enters Gemini tomorrow, the last leg of my lousy Lunar cycle.  I’m feeling the Mercury retrograde, slogging through all my communications projects, reading, doing animation, etc. 

I’m going to go see a movie tomorrow, probably Atomic Blonde, which seems like a very Gemini film.  Or maybe Dunkirk, I don’t know.  It depends.  Now I’m going to bed to try to remember my dream.

The Buffy Diareis 8-13-2017

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9:20 PM 8/13/2017 

I’m catching up now after a whopping five days without an entry, and this gap is because spirit forces have come down very powerfully and rearranged a lot of my relationship to the world.  I’m going to start with transits.  Unfortunately I’ve forgotten a lot of the subtle details.  But perhaps that’s the point as my guides are becoming much more available so endlessly dwelling on my own private thoughts may be less useful.  ***  As a matter of fact I am working with them right now to find a new tone for blogging. 

Wednesday when the Moon opposed Mercury I found out about an error I had made in processing a big project and I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up.  It wasn’t a major crisis but it was extremely annoying as the project was so big that it overloaded the software and I had to sit in front of my screen making attempt after attempt to get it processed.  Ultimately it had to be referred to another department who bypassed the software.  So it was definitely validating with regards to the Mercury transit. 

I was coming back from lunch when the Sun inconjuncted Pluto and I think the Pluto aspect was represented in the sheer size of the project I was working on, and the way it messed up so many different people in so many different departments.  I was also getting ready for an important meeting with two friends that evening, getting into the swing of a big weekend. I also think the influence of the Sun inconjunct was distributed out across the Lunar sextile with Pluto later that night.

The Moon conjuncted Neptune while I was running and I was feeling very good about myself.  I forget which episode of Firefly I was watching.  I only recally two Buffynicities over the last few days.  Part of the reason that night was the laziness that always comes with the Moon in Pisces. I had a great conversation with my friends.  The meeting was very important for us and we’ve scheduled another one for September.  Even though this meeting took place after the Neptune conjunct I feel that it was validating for the depth of that aspect.

It was very helpful to *** I’m getting so much information now that I can’t record it.  I haven’t really come back from that night.  It kicked me up a notch and I’ve stayed there.  It feels good just writing about it.  “They” have definitely shifted my center of gravity and I’m working to find a new voice for what’s happening.  Who am I recording all of this for, for instance?  “They” are here and they see me clearly.  This is the chief development, I now have a sense of being watched on a very personal level.  One might even say a simple, “conversational” level, which is what I’ve wanted for a long time.

On Thursday as Mars inconjuncted Neptune and the Moon squared Saturn I was feeling very pissed off at or about another person I’ve known, who I thought of as a friend, but who is very stoned and silly all the time.  I wanted to help them but they aren’t very interested in me anymore.  Spirits were telling me that it’s better that we be separated, but I was still pissed off because I had so many unusual psychic experiences around them, many of them uncomfortable, and I learned a lot but I wish life weren’t so much a dumb, machiavellian game of weirdness.  I wish that person well and it was useful for me to be thinking about them, to be separating from them.  And in retrospect it is probably that my own guides were reviewing that territory, clearing out the presence of that other person so that they could move in.

The Sun sextiled Jupiter as I was on the way home and it was a good feeling, as I was on my way to Wilmette to see Echo Bodine, and also getting a somewhat early beginning my weekend as I was working downtown on Friday.

Echo’s presentation was very healing for me, validating the Moon conjunct with Chiron that took place right at the end.  I read a bit about her meeting with Jesus in the afterlife and I felt very in touch with that higher world.  I could feel the compassion of the afterlife and I felt very at home.  It was a genuine presence of love that is making my life much more simple these days.  It was everything one might expect.  It was also interesting to see Echo again as her last appearance with her brother and sister was also very dramatic for me.  I’m much more comfortable with the energies I sense this time, possibly more able to work with them.

Luna entered Aries and there weren’t many aspects at work, which went very smoothly.  I was at John’s circle in the evening and everyone celebrated my birthday a bit.  I felt very at home, but I was very tired.  I would have to say the Moon inconjunct Mercury at the end contributed to a strange feeling of being more secure than ever in my own spirit contact, but also still somewhat isolated.  I feel separate, but as though I’m about to discover a different way of being that will put this separatness aside.  All week I’ve been reliving my past of weird, unsatisfying psychic encounters and feeling as though I’m wringing the last meaning I can from them before I move on to something else.  My struggles feel mostly over.  I wish I knew if that means success or defeat.

Saturday I was on my way to mediate when the Moon squared Pluto.  I don’t remember much about it except it was nice to be on time, also I’d got word from Ubreakifix that my iPod was repaired so that was a feeling of being restored to the world.

I had forgotten some books I had to pick up for IANDS so I had a little extra running around to do, in addition to stopping in Evanston to pick up my iPod.  So even though I wanted a little more sleep I had to leave around the time the Moon opposed Jupiter.  I wonder what “busyness” has to do with this transit.  Jupter aspects are difficult for me to feel.

*** I feel very light now, insubstatial like I might fade away.

The Moon trined the Sun and Saturn during the meeting and I was feeling very good about my work.  Everything went smoothly and I was getting good information about higher worlds.  The whole pattern of what I’ve been involved in is starting to make sense.

Afterwards I came home and went to run, finishing the last episode of Firefly right before Mercury turned retrograde.  I got drunk and listened to “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones and “John Wayne” by Billy Idol, and worked on downloading all the parts of Poser.  I also went back and looked at Blender, which I downloaded months ago but have yet to really use.  Coming up this week I’m going to be watching tutorials for both of them on Youtube.  I also started watching “Bound”, the Wachowskis first movie. 

This is going to be an interesting retrograde as I am more sensitive than I’ve ever been.  But as can be seen from the five-day lacuna in my blog I don’t have as much to say about what’s going on.  I’m looking forward to getting this “repositioning” over with.

Today when the Sun trined Saturn I was down in Edgewater feeling great, if a little tired.  I was getting everything out of my day that I wanted, psychically, and I still am.  I just wish I knew how to report the details.  However I must say that I currenly feel enveloped in the love of the spirit world and ready to move on.

Buffynicity #1:  I downloaded Poser over the last few days.  It comes in several sections and I was surprised to see that there’s a whole section devoted to “nude figures”.  Then in the episodes I watched Mal got naked a couple of times. Once when Saffron double-crossed him, and then again in the brothel in “Heart of Gold”.

Buffynnicity #2:  This is pretty decent and a good solid one to end Firefly with.  On Friday I posted an article to my twitter account, about Lana Wachowski writing Sense8:

http://www.konbini.com/us/entertainment/lana-wachowski-writing-sense8-season-3/

Speaking of herself rather cryptically in the third person, Wachowski says:

“She’s writing… Because she believes so much in the fans, that they’re going to go out and create so many more fans, Lana’s going ahead and actually writing the entire season three.”

After an awkward pause, Brian J. Smith (who plays Will in the show) breaks the silence, joking: “I think we just got cut off, the feed’s gone dead.”

I didn’t run that night, but then the next night in the final episode, River starts talking about herself in the third person.

RIVER (V.O.)
 You’re wrong about River. River’s not on
 the ship. They didn’t want her here, but
 she couldn’t make herself leave. So
 she melted… Melted away.
 They didn’t know she could do that, but she did.

EARLY (V.O.)
 I’m not sure I take your meaning there.

RIVER (V.O.)
 I’m not on the ship. I’m in the ship.
 (beat)
 I am the ship.

Also what reinforces this Buffynicity is that Firefly was cancelled after one season and Lana was talking about a show that was cancelled, and River is a telepath being hunted like the Sense8’s.

So that’s extremely interesting.  I must say I’m proud to be a Firefly fan.  It sucks that there was only one season.  I know I’ll love it forever.  I’m looking forward to watching the movie, Serenity.  But now I’m moving on to watch Angel, and then the Dollhouse.  I have to get all this Whedon watched before my free year of ATT Fullscreen is up.  I’ve been doing this for six months already, wow!

Although I must admit I’m tempted to break it up with some stuff from Netflix.  With their download feature I don’t need to use my data. 

Mercury’s in retrograde and I don’t give a damn.  The Moon’s in Taurus anyway.  Thank god only two more signs until I’m out of the Lunar doldrums.

The Buffy Diaries 8-8-2017

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10:35 PM 8/8/2017

This is an interesting night.  It feels dark because I don’t know where anything’s leading any more.  I didn’t have any particular Buffynicities tonight. 

When the Moon sextiled Uranus this afternoon I was finishing up the second of three major projects I have this week at work, but then there was a big surprise in the morning and I have to change my schedule around in a new way.  Around the time of the actual sextile I found out a co-worker has had to change her schedule and so mine is going to be messed up, too.  So it was a little surprising but it makes my weekend more interesting because I’ll be downtown on Friday instead of Thursday – maybe I’ll see a movie or something.

The Moon entered Pisces while I was driving home and it shows in the way I feel so lazy.  I didn’t register any Buffynicities really.  I do feel closer to higher worlds, and more detached from this one.  I noticed that characters from earlier in the season are showing up – Saffron and Niska – and I suppose that’s associated with the way I’m looking over some people I’ve known in the past and possibly finally forgetting about them.

My parents got me “Poser”, the animation software, for my birthday and I’m installing it now.  I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of weirdness I can accomplish with it.

Tomorrow the Moon trining Venus and opposing Mercury should bring some dramatic event.  Perhaps I’ll come up with an idea for a Poser movie.  Sun inconjunct Pluto might bring some ideas about what to put out there in society, whether Poser movies or my intuitive website.

Moon inconjuncts Mars on the way home and then conjuncts Neptune right before my meeting with two of the more psychic people I know.  With the Moon already in Pisces this should bring some amazing insights. 

And I’m also looking forward to seeing Echo Bodine twice this week.  But now let me reaffirm that Pisces Moon really makes me lazy – that’s all for tonight.

The Buffy Diaries 8-7-2017

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10:33 PM 8/7/2017

Tonight’s episode was fully of Buffynicity, possibly too much to recall.  I feel the resonance of it broke wide open and I was seeing  myself in everything. 

Buffynicity #1:  I got a letter today indicating that I am involved in a court case.  As I’ll write when I get to transits, I’m having a week loaded with bureaucracy – courts, insurance, and three major “events” at work all involving large amounts of paperwork and managing teams of vendors.  It’s timed very well with the Lunar eclipse.  In tonight’s episode Jayne gets arrested.  I found that synchronous.  Fortunately for me my lawyer immediately told me to do nothing and it will all get straightened out.  However I didn’t know that while I was watching so I felt like there was something about going into the “Core” and getting involved with the law that was resonating.  Also the planet they visit is “Ariel”, which is another version of “Auriel” or “Uriel”, the angel of individuality and secrecy, which is what bureaucratic hassles teach us about.

Buffynicity #2:  Very minor,

JAYNE
 Well, hey, you know. We’da been back first, except there’s
 something wrong with Inara’s shuttle. She done somethin’
 to it, Mal. Smells funny.

I had to go buy a new box fan at Target on Friday, my old one burnt out.  I stopped in the dollar store next door and picked up a jar of those “scented beads” – Hawaiian Breeze.  I’ve been enjoying the smell and I’ve been thinking about getting into the whole “room-scenting” trip.  Especially since I have a new car – I want to get one of those “vent clips”.

The main thing is that I have all this legal, bureaucratic stuff going on that was making me feel very dark and while I was watching the episode it was feeling like a Kafka-esque labyrinth.  However reassurance from my lawyer makes me feel okay and now I’m just marvelling at the intensity of this sudden wave of busywork.  I forgot to mention that I dropped my iPod off to get repaired this afternoon, as well.

When the full Moon came this afternoon I was working on one of these huge “events”, the first of three, and I was actually feeling pretty confident in my abilities although dreading all the other hassles that seem to be lined up for me.  There was a lot of energy and I feel like this is “groundedness” or a quantum leap with my angels to being a functioning intuitive with a role in the world.  Gears are shifting and everything is getting more serious.

Moon trining Jupiter – I was on my way to Ubreakifix to drop off my iPod, feeling good that I was going to get the use of it back, even though my other iPod and my phone are doing an adequate job.  I was upbeat about making the adjustment to bureaucratic effectiveness.  When I got home there was a letter indicating I might involved with this legal issue, and then 45 minutes after the trine I got word it was really happening.  This gave me a really dark feeling, and made me suddenly start working hard on the latest model I’m building and also a poster I’m working on.  Then I went to run and dwelled on the kafkaesque horror of paranoia and bureaucracy.  But then as soon as I got home there was an e-mail from my lawyer saying forget about it, do nothing, it’s a non-issue so all was well again leaving me once again with a nice feeling of accomplishment – preserving my iPod for (hopefully) several more years with a replacement part, and having made a ton of progress on my latest model, and this poster.

Tomorrow Moon sextiles Uranus in the afternoon, hopefully something fun will happen.  My next event should be mostly over.  Perhaps I’ll make some progress on dropping off my car to get the maintenance done.  Then it will be VOC all afternoon but thankfully Moon will enter Pisces around 5 pm, which is always a relaxing break (if a little lethargic) in the middle of this lousy phase of the lunar cycle.  Once again Capricorn Moon has proven to be the lousiest time of the month.  Aquarius was a little better, but still feels cold.  I usually just drift with Pisces Moon.