Daily Archives: April 26, 2018

The Buffy Dairies 4-25-2018 part two

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8:20 PM 4/25/2018  I’m in an interesting channeling state right now.  I’ve just been given the phrase “force fields” to describe some of the inner influences I feel, as they do feel like “spaces” or “fields”, but they have force to them as well.  Sue Storm has force fields and I was just looking at my action figure of Ursa, who I relate to “Susie the Bear”.  So I’m Reed, Kara is Sue, Sandy is The Thing.  That leaves Gen as Johnny, “John Vieve”.  That works out pretty well.

Although I want to catch up on the last three days of transis, they’re “bringing it down” now, reminding me that the Moon just opposed Neptune, which was one reason I felt like complete crap and unable to do any 3d work when I got home.  I just sat around and thought about wanting to do things, but then I finally got my blog going a half hour after the transit.

Before that Mercury had squared Saturn at 4:28 and I was feeling like total crap because I got a surprise e-mail at work, some jerk schedule a task for our department but didn’t tell us which threw off my whole work program and made me possibly late on a big project this week – a very definite validation of Mercury square Saturn, the communication of the e-mail, and the e-mail itself being about “data backups”, given that at 5 pm I had an appointment at Best Buy in Skokie (I just feel like being more specific about my life now) to pick up a hard drive backup which I had recovered.  Limitations, time, communication, feeling rushed on 3D in the evening as the Moon opposed Neptune – all this is substantial validation and the force fields around it are giving me insight into how to work with 3D astrologically.

Before that the Moon had been inconjunct Mercury as I woke up that morning, concerned I was going to be late for the bi-weekly internation conference call I thought was scheduled.  But then when I got there  I found that it was cancelled so that was a definite validation of the Moon trining Saturn at 7:30; I was feeling very free and ahead of the game, the opposite of how I felt by that afternoon when the Moon squared Mercury.

Interesting that I blogged this day backwards, and was taking the order of days backwards in this entry, and talking about the transformation in energies related to time between the trine in the morning and the square at night.  It’s very deep, astrologically.

Tomorrow, the day I am unexpectedly going downtown again, the Moon inconjuncts Uranus, and there are two major Pluto transits – trine the Moon and conjunct Mars.  Amazing validation.

So what about Monday and Tuesday?  I’m so excited now by these force fields that I am reluctant to make myself remember what happened, but recalling the Pluto retrograde on Sunday is like a yardstick.  It was such a total Plutonian grind that the twelve hour stretch of minute observations of inner states stands out in high relief.

I can feel that the force fields are shifting my approach to memory.

On Monday the 23rd I was thinking all about Dracula, and how he was a genuine historical figure who became a myth, and I bought Blue Tree Studio’s “Lair of the Vampyre Bride” which has the famous portrait of Dracula.  I was thinking about how Dracula means “Son of the Dragon”.  Maybe I was Dracula in a former life.  It was like a magical grounding of my daydreams back into the flow of history, the acknowledgement of the legacy of souls on the earth.  This powerful shift validated the Moon inconjunct Neptune.

But when I got home, even though I wanted to work on 3D, I just fell asleep.  It was a very nice feeling and I got lots of rest.  

Yesterday Venus entered Gemini and I am sure that’s one reason I feel so flighty and totally not a part of my own life, just watching everything go by.  I am not looking forward to a month of this.  But the thought takes me that I should do some 3D about it to stabilize.

The Moon trining Uranus was certainly validated in the afternoon as I got a surprising e-mail, just minutes before the transit, about a job request I couldn’t do myself.  The only person who could was in another town and I had a minor panic.  Surprisingly, that other person got the e-mail and came all the way back into town to do the job but it was several minutes of unpleasantness thinking about the trouble I was in before it got straightened out.  This happened again today.  

This week I am working in my home office alone and to have these two surprise jobs, doable only by those people who are out of town dumped on me just before I’m off for the day shows that all of this is arranged by a higher power.  The first one was within minutes of a Uranus transit, and the second one has me unexpectedly going downtown on the day of a major Uranus transit.

However, the Moon entered Virgo, its most magical sign for me, just as my coworker came back into town and made everything alright, so I was feeling pretty good as I came home and struggled to ground the psychic energies into some good 3D.  On the way home I stopped and checked in my hard drives with Best Buy.  There was something so unexpectedly weird about doing that on that day that the Uranus transit is validated on a deeper level, but I can’t talk about it in public.  I can sense the last several days however (since the Pluto retrograde?) that the force fields of astrological information are twisting into a more textured, layered whole just as my 3D illustrations are evolving in a similar way.

The Moon was squaring Venus as I left work for the day, feeling rushed and disappointed that my regular MTG game was postponed.  I’m trying to remember more specifically how that felt.  I think I was actually a little relieved that I was going to get more time to work on 3D, and also looking forward to getting my hard drives reclaimed, as I used the time freed up to stop by Best Buy.  The Moon inconjuncted Chiron about that time.  There was a nice surprise as it turned out one of my drives was reclaimable there in the store.  I had to wander around Best Buy for a while, thinking of the days when I lived in Grand Rapids and there was a Best Buy at the “dirt mall”, right near the crazy legal services place I used to work.  I was viewing the expanse of time since I lived there, feeling the wave-form collapse.  It was a healing reunion with old memories to go along with the reunion with the data on my drives.

8:55 PM 4/25/2018  I really got into typing all of that.  I forgot myself there for a few minutes.  My channeling is increasing in depth.

Venus sextiled Chiron a little later that night when I was at home and exactly 3 minutes afterwards I got a call from Best Buy that the transfer of data from one of my drives was complete and I could pick it up today.  Nice timing!  Chiron is definitely about nostalgia for me.

So here I am in the midst of some major force fields.  Somewhere in the last few days I also discovered that the pain in my heel, which caused me to quit running a few weeks ago, is plantar fasciitis.  It was Wednesday night I discovered this, I now remember, the day the Moon conjuncted Uranus.  So that’s another nice validation.

It’s been a week that I’ve been icing me heel and I believe it’s working, so I look forward to getting back to running.

As for what lies ahead, the Moon is conjuncting Pluto and opposing Chiron tomorrow, which should be big.  It’s conjuncting Mercury on Friday when I see Paul Selig again, and I’ll be at King Spa on the day of the Full Moon in Scorpio.  

This should be good!

The Buffy Diaries 4-25-2018 part one

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7:33 PM 4/25/2018  I can’t decide what to do in 3D so I’m catching up on my narrative instead, hoping somehow I’ll draw the power through into a coherent sphere.  Fortunately, the work I’m doing is really resulting in progress, but the inner tensions can be painful sometimes.  I’m surprised to find it’s been a week since my last post.  I can’t remember much about last week.  I was preparing for a big day of overtime on Sunday.  

The Moon entered Gemini and sextiled Chiron on Wednesday, as I was getting into work and I remember I felt very flighty and not really present in my life.  I spent all morning waiting for the Moon to conjunct Uranus at 9 AM.  I was ready for anything to happen.  What did happen wasn’t an event in the outside world, but a sudden insight into my 3D work that has changed my approach radically.  Instead of working on fantasy scenes of magical rituals, I got the idea to work on bedrooms with couples, adapting my own perceptions of emotional interactions in relationships.  I’ve spent the last week on this and I am getting good results.  I feel much more in control of the energies I’m bringing down and I believe it’s helping me see the spirit world better.

So I was expecting an unexpected event but I got an intuitive insight into my inner world.  

The Moon sextiling Mercury was related to the enthusiasm I was feeling for this new approach, and an increased sense of security.  I posted several more pictures online after this, increasing the flow of mercurial energy.  I worked on a very Saturnine picture which validated the Lunar inconjunct with Saturn that evening.

Alas, it’s so much work to check back and see exactly when I did all this stuff I’m remembering.

Thursday I was working downtown again.  The Moon squared Neptune in the morning and I was feeling happy to be downtown on my own, but also outside my own dream, watching it go by as I waited for the big weekend of work.  Lunar squares with Neptune have a definite feeling for me.  I enjoy the energy but I can’t grasp on to it.  It’s like a stream flowing past me that I can’t quite immerse myself in.

The Moon inconjunct Mars was related to the unexpected arrival of a bunch of the workers from out of state who were going to be there for the weekend’s event.  It wasn’t unpleasant, just crowded.  I focused on adapting to the impersonal energy of work.  I accept that the life of an American is the life of a meaningless corporate drone, that our way of life is empty impersonal garbage.  I focused on knowing that I’m as good as anyone here, that I can do all the grownup things that used to intimidate me when I was just a bohemian.

The Moon inconjunct Jupiter and Pluto was validated when I remembered that evening that I had a citation for having a headlight out two weeks before which I still had not paid, so I spent a lot of frustrating time on hold with various government offices and also tried to call up the payment website, which was non-functional.

In addition to the above validation, once again there was a Pluto transit on a day I worked downtown.

In the evening the Sun entered Taurus, which covers my second house, and I posted my first picture of a bedroom with a very “fixed earth”  couple.  I think it’s very sexy and I know I should adapt my 3D work more consciously to the day’s astrological influences in the future.

The Moon was sextiling Uranus as I was unexpectedly late for work on Friday morning, but I was happy to have the extra sleep and I felt good that morning, looking forward to getting my heavy weekend over with.  The Moon entered Pisces and I stopped giving a damn about anything.  Moon in Pisces is very familiar now.  Pisces in general is very familiar now, actually, and I just went with the dissolution all day.  The Moon squared Chiron and sextiled Taurus as I felt very smug about my new picture and the new sense of security I have in my life as I direct magical energies more consciously.  My inner landscape is changing dramatically and I know my perceptions of people at a distance are getting more accurate all the time.  More and more I feel I’m on the verge of getting something done in this world.

At the same time I had to spend a bunch of time on hold durning the day, doing a ridiculous round-robin of getting transferred from one line to another and back again in search of someone who could help me.  This was several hours before the Moon squared Mercury in the evening, but I still think that, along with the similar tedium from the night before, it validated the transit – while at the same time the final paying of the bill validated the new Taurus energy of solidity.

That evening as the Moon opposed Saturn I worked on some amaizing 3D, including a new picture, “La Mer” which is the best depiction of Binah I’ve done yet and I think marks a new high-water mark in my 3D work.  It’s definitely the most magical thing I’ve done and it’s taking me to new psychic heights.

Saturday was totally devoted to 3D.  I did amazing things, posting “La Mer” and feeling fantastic along with the Lunar trine with Neptune.  The Moon opposing Mars was like a full moon for me, giving me lots of energy and making me feel totally masterful in my 3D work.  The Moon trine Jupiter lent a similar sense of power and exaltation.  I was really rocking my own world with 3D all day and feeling fantastic, looking forward to making a bunch of money the next day.

The Moon opposing Pluto made me feel like I’d unlocked the key to the Underworld.  It was really a spectacular day that made me feel “present” to the magical forces in my life like never before.

On Sunday the 22d I was at work early when the Moon sextiled Venus.  I think the transit was giving me pleasant feelings of being “ahead of the game”, seeing the entire 12 hour day as a kind of extended act of cocreation, moving my emotions beyond the tedious emptiness of corporate servitude.  I had very little to do, I was just a support reasource, so I sat daydreaming and directing my feelings toward getting away from the corporate world forever.

I really don’t recall much specific about the Moon squaring Uranus, except I was unexpectedly sleepy.  I was enjoying the enormous amount of junk food the company had bought for us all, and I was struggling not to fall asleep in front of everyone.  I hadn’t realized I was so tired – it was definitely a suprise. Another surprise was that one of my co-workers brought up the Admiral Theater in conversation, but that was minor.   The day in general went by pretty fast.  Pluto went retrograde and I felt my relationship to the collective shift.  I am totally depersonalized in this corporate hell of a dead nation, but at the same time it brings me peace of mind to know it because I don’t give a fuck anymore.  So that was the Pluto retrograde, contemplating all the working men and women around me and taking a broader psychic perspective on the life of the masses in 21st century America, the hollow mechanical cocreativity which I abhor.

I could feel the energy of a different life coming to me, taking me away somewhere else.

The Moon entered Leo and I think that was why I felt my Plutonian insights, and my separateness from their collective awareness, so strongly.

The Moon sextiled Chiron and I felt relieved that I was making it through my day so easily.  I felt the overwhelming work of the previous two months was over and I was a success.  

The Moon squared the Sun in the afternoon and I hit a bump in the road when most of my coworkers were let go early because the project was done ahead of time, but I had to hang around the whole twelve hours doing almost nothing because of deliveries.  I had thought briefly I might be on time for the evening’s dream circle, but then I had to suffer through the passage of time as it became clear I wasn’t going to make it after all.  I focused on forgiveness and put it behind  me, but it did validate the Moon/Sun square.

I made it home to the circle and the Moon trine with Mercury was certainly validated as I had some great insights and did some very solid channeling, with much better clarity in my vision of the occult structure of the circle than ever before.  This is really a new level for me.

I’m going to post this now and go on to part two.