1:15 PM 2/17/2018  The question I’m struggling with now is the magical intention of my 3D illustration.  Do I want to exercise or exorcise power in the astral realm of my imagination, or do I want to submlimate it to some magical design?

I want to integrate the craziness of my imagination into a functional life; I want to bridge this gap into some kind of wholeness, which means I need to make pictures that address the ego issues – possession, dominion and slavery, power, money, violence.

10:34 PM 2/20/2018  I just put up a cool picture on Renderosity, and it got me excited about getting back to my narrative.  The psychic pressures are getting more pronounced.  Time is by going – ha, I wanted to write time is going by but I got it mixed up – that’s the second time today I’ve done something like that.  In line for stir fry at the cafeteria today the cook suddenly asked me what I wanted before I was ready and I froze for several seconds, unable to remember what I was doing there.

I didn’t even realize that it’s been a week since I updated my blog again.  I swear I thought it was only a few days.  Of course I have been sick as well.  On Wednesday nothing really happened during the day.  I left early.  The Moon sextiled Mars and it gave me a lot of momentum.  I went to King Spa in the evening and had a great time, except there was this kid in the Dream Bulgama room who was coughing all the time.  I felt a distinct sense of dread every time she did it and lo and behold I did get sick.

So the next day I felt like crap and I didn’t pay too much attention to aspects.  Mercury and Moon sextiled Uranus, and then Moon conjuncted Mercury adn the Sun.  There was indeed some unexpected business as I had gone to a lot of trouble to schedule a freight company to pick up some equipment and I found out as I was trying to hand it off that it was against the rules.  I had to cancel the whole thing and go back to square one.  Also there was a lot of other chaos going on to validate the Uranus activity.  Venus sextiling Saturn was more pleasant.  I got some great 3D done, which is the “limiting” of Venusian visual imagery.  Then the Moon entered Pisces and I got sicker and lazier. 

Friday the Moon sextiled Saturn in the morning and there was definitely an insane rush and overload of things to do, validating the transit in the usual fashion.

The Moon conjuncted Venus and I did get the psychic depth I wanted.  I was still looking forward to hitting King Spa on the weekend, even though I felt a little under the weather.  The Lunar square with Mars I don’t remember too well, but I was feeling very rushed and out of sorts – getting sicker without realizing it and generally feeling overwhelmed by my job.  I haven’t felt like I belonged anywhere for several days.  I think I’m just getting it back today.

Late that night the Moon conjncted Neptune and I was rocking my own world with 3D and the feeling of revelation.  Renderosity put everyone’s wish list on sale and I wound up with a Monty Haul of stuff that is advancing my skills tremendously. But then Saturday I woke up too exhausted to go to King Spa, staying home instead except for a brief trip to the grocery store for drinks.

It’s interesting that this was my first full weekend without drinking alcohol, and I got sick. Definitely a karmic adjustment. 

I was sleeping all day while the Moon sextiled Pluto, enhancing the dead feeling of the Pisces Moon, and I guess I was changing the way I see the collective, feeling less involved with it than ever.  But I got some amazing new light sets and I really went overboard with the Neptune influence.

The Moon trined Jupiter in the afternoon and I was feelling pretty good, cozy with my junk food and a weekend of total rest, even if it was snowing.  Then during the VOC Mercury went into Pisces and I can see this is part of the reason I totally forgot to blog even though I’m very excited in general about keeping it going, since I’m seeing the magical effects very clearly.

I get more and more clear about who I am and what my spirits are doing very day.  Unfortunately that doesn’t automatically mean that it’s going to make sense to anyone else. 

I can see though that these Piscean influences are a major factor in my recent apathy, and also the fact that I just posted a picture of a ghost.

The Moon entered Aries on Sunday, but then the Sun entered Pisces.  I wish I could remember what I did that night.  Stayed home and slept, mostly.  I don’t think I went out during the day, except to walk down the block to get some more junk food. 

I definitely felt the Moon squaring Saturn in the evening.  I was spaced out and messing around and then I suddenly decided to assmble my Lego set of the TARDIS.  It wound up taking hours and I didn’t really finish before I had to go to bed because I’d gotten the color of some pieces wrong so I had to take it apart a couple of times to fix it.  I got most of it but once again the Saturn transit was validated.

11:12 PM 2/20/2018  I’m going to stop there because I just turned the wrong page in my planner and wrote about the aspects for next week.  So I’ll catch up tomorrow because it’s too late to go back but this rushing to catch up and failing does validate the Moon trine with Saturn which just happened about an hour ago.

6:53 PM 2/13/2018  Rejoining the narrative of my life after 9 days gone, possibly a new record.  I feel the ghost of CK hanging around, talking about America, bringing me a step closer to the true alchemy of the United States.  I’m trying to remember last Monday, when I left this off.  One of the big things that’s delayed me is that I quit drinking.  A couple of months ago, before Christmas, I started drinking again and just a few days ago I stopped.  I’m really glad I finally could because I had stopped losing weight.  So I’m very happy to be losing weight again but I’m still making the adjustment, sleeping a lot and feeling different about everything.  I think I’ll work backwards on aspects:

The sun is sextiling Uranus in a little while.  I don’t know what that might bring except I expect to be watching the end of season one of Sense8, and also King Spa and Content Paradise both had surprise Valentine’s day sales, so I made plans to go to King Spa tomorrow and I picked up a couple of things from Content Paradise that I’ve been wanting since the end of last year.  Also as I said, this ghost showed up and started talking to me all about America, and I feel I am getting some unexpectedly clear answers about what I’m supposed to be doing in this country.

The Moon entered Aquarius this morning and I felt pretty gregarious.  I had sturvived a Capricorn moon with no car trouble, except Monday I tried to fill up my tires, but my low pressure light is still on.  But other than that no serious trouble but the wretched snow. 

And this morning I was feeling productive although still very alienated from the world, reinforced by the Mercury square Jupiter, making me extremely articulate about how unjust and unworthy I think this country and its government are. 

As for yesterday, Monday the 12th, the Moon conjuncted Pluto in the afternoon and I was feeling a bit rushed, as I had decided to leave work early and go to the mall to get a Valentine’s present for someone, which I guess is the collective energy of Pluto and also a little sexual energy as well.  Although that’s not the type of relationship I have with my valentine, I was extremely happy to have one.  I was glad to have the money to buy the gift, and also very pleased with some sales on Renderosity and Daz.  I did my grocery shopping and managed to make it home pretty early, riding the crest of the Lunar sextile with Jupiter, feeling that I was restoring order to my life after a chaotic week of not paying attention to anything, and also the boring drudgery of dealing with heavy snow.

The Moon squared Uranus late at night but I wasn’t awake for it as I had “unexpectedly” fallen asleep early, not bothering to work out.  I had a good night’s rest and the transit was validated.

Sunday the 11th the only thing I was awake for was the Moon sextiling Neptune in the evening, while I was leading a dream circle.  The psychic elements of Neptune transits were certainly validated, and even though I had slept through the Lunar conjunct with Saturn in Capricorn early in the morning I believe I was still feeling its effects in the clarity of the channeling I was doing in the evening, and the way it worked out that I spent the day doing a lot of physical work, sweeping floors and shoveling snow.

Saturday the 10th I “unexpectedly” missed my morning meditation because my mind was wandering so badly, although I felt pretty good, thus validating the Lunar trine with Uranus.  Also, the IANDS meeting was unexpectedly powerful, with a medium who brought an unusually clear wave of spirit perception for me, validating the Uranus transit again and also the Lunar square with Chiron that afternoon.  I felt a new level of clarity which also relates to the ghost I was feeling this afternoon.  I bought a new hemi-sync meditation CD to work on and I’m looking forward to deeper development.

Venus entered Pisces, strengthening visions of the afterlife.

The Sun squaring Jupiter I think related to feeling a little rushed, a little like an outsider, wondering if anything in my life has really mattered since it’s all just work and amoral power exchanges, but at the same time relieved to be more and more free of it all, ready to fly away forever.  That was the last night that I had anything to drink.

That was also related to the Moon entering Capricorn, I’m sure, while the Lunar sextile with Venus in Pisces just strengthened my Piscean desire to get it all over with.

The Moon squaring Neptune and sextiling Mercury on Friday the 9th was a strange mixture of contentment and discomfort.  The square with Neptune was related to me feeling like a “thing” at work.  I was slightly behind of several projects and felt out of sorts with a lot of forces in my life.  Although some things were going well in some ways I feel smaller than ever.  There are a ton of things going on in my life I don’t understand and although I feel I’m getting answers at last I trust the world less than ever before because it basically all just seems like a huge waste of time.  On the other hand the sextile with Mercury was fun as I had a lot of 3D work to look forward to, and also I was looking forward to leading the circle on Sunday and I had a good time shopping for comics and toys after work.  I found some good stuff.

I also had a very bizarre Buffynicity:

Buffynicity #1:  I had ordered a “Firefly” cap on ebay a while ago, wanting some merch of the show.  It came in the mail on Saturday but I cut the package open with scissors and cut a big hole in it, which pissed me off and made me wonder what it meant.  I decided to wear the hat anyway, but then on Friday, with the Moon squaring Neptune but sextiling Mercury, I realized that the cap was really just from a sporting goods company called “Firefly” and not from the show at all, which was reassuring as it had bothered me a lot that I cut a hole in it.  It makes me think now that my guides were showing me something.  And so I ordered a genuine Firefly merch cap and also a patch on Friday, validating the transits as this weird push-and-pull of forces related to the dreamworld.  The cap just came today as I was thinking of this ghost, who is kind of like Jayne Cobb from that show.

So the Neptune square was related to the murky emptiness I’ve been feeling, but the Mercury sextile was related to seeing through my mistake and undertaking the transactions to fix it.

Thursday the 8th I was working downtown.  Unusually, there were no Pluto transits.  It was a pretty laid-back day with the Moon entering Sagittarius in the morning, bringing increased perceptions of Kara but also the usual laziness and self-satisfaction.  I did start catching up on work, though.

Wednesday the 7th, the Moon squared the Sun, sextiled Pluto, conjuncted Jupiter.  I don’t remember much except that I unexpectedly braved the unpleasant weather to get the IANDS books a day early, so that I could avoid driving in the lousy weather on Thursday, when I worked downtown and took the train.  I know the square with the sun related to the square with Neptune on Friday.  I just haven’t felt like anything’s real, although I have been happy about resolving certain financial issues and looking toward my future.  Sextiling Pluto and conjuncting Jupiter really had this eerie way of making me feel so “together” that I was moving too fast, like expecting one more stair at the top of the staircase and going a little too far with it.  Like everything is taken care of (Jupiter) but now with this added momentum I have to find something else to do in the world (the collective represented bu Pluto).  I feel more focused than ever but also smaller.  I feel like I fit into the world but only in a very small place.

I was recovering nicely from a shock on Tuesday the 6th, which was the really disruptive day that set me off on this spaced-out arc in wich I didn’t blog for 9 days. 

The Moon sextiled Saturn in the morning and I hit a financial disruption (from which I recovered quite nicely on Wednesday) which made me feel nervous.  I felt I could handle it but it was also marking a new and necessary era in my day-to-day life.  I straightened things out but the Moon square Mercury in the evening was definitely related to this shift.  The shock made me think about my life situation very differently, reorganizing mental/Mercurial energies.  Mercury is also the exaltation of Saturn-rule Aquarius and I definitely saw myself as moving toward a different role in the Aquarian collective.  Venus sextiling Uranus in the evening was several hours away from the Saturn transit that marked the surpise, but I still feel the transit is validated.  It was definitely the most unexpected jolt I’ve had in months.  And Venus and Mercury working together marked a new direction in my “inner vision” of spiritual activity.  I definitely feel like I’m in full swing toward a different future.

Moon trining Neptune also reinforced the psychic changes related to this upset, which as I said was resolved by the next day with almost too great an intensity, making me feel like I’m barreling along a Pluto/Jupiter themed tunnel toward the unknown.

Buffynicity #2: So that catches me up for the week, except for Monday the 5th, which seems so far back it hardly matters.  I just checked my blog though and found that on that day I was recovering from my last trip to King Spa, and now here I am catching up my blog the night before I’m going to King Spa again, an interesting Buffynicity.

And that Monday I was indeed feeling like everything was different, and I can now see that that change in intensity was related to the upsets that took place on Tuesday.  It was all a part of a major shift which will be advanced tomorrow night. 

So Monday the Moon trining Venus was validated as the psychic energies of my trip to King Spa stayed with me, even at work.  The Moon oppposed Uranus and I think this was related to how deeply King Spa had affected me.  I also found the perfect setting for my magical 3D images.  That was a major shift for me, being able to see just the magical qualities I want.  It’s difficult to describe just how profound that was, after weeks of searching, to finally find the context for this phase of my magical work with 3D, which hasn’t slowed down since.  There were also a couple of characters that affected me so intenstely that I felt to use them was literally “breaking on through to the other side”.  3D is really bringing all my pathological mind-wandering into laserlike focus and getting me over so much of the boundariless emptiness that has plagued me for decades.

The Moon inconjunct Chiron in the afternoon was definitely related to this healing.  And the Moon entering Scorpio in the evening was validated as it is usually, marking an intense and exhilarating increase in focus and power.

Looking back I can see how the intense energy of my visit to King Spa pushed me deep into psychic art on Monday and related to the upheaval on Tuesday which has now settled out so that I’ve quit drinking, started losing weight again, and in general feel I’m on a different and much more clear and productive trajectory through life.

I expect to keep this “trajectory” as the Moon sextiles Mercury tomorrow.  I’m looking forward to Thursday, with two Uranus transits, sextiling Mercury and the Moon, and also another trip to King Spa (which I’ve been planning since the last one) on Sunday.

It’s nice to be sober and feeling like I’m back on track again.

11:18 PM 1/26/2018

Catching up on things again. 

Buffynicity #1: I was thinking of Don Maclean, the singer of “American Pie” the other day.  Specifically I was thinking of the movie he made about rock stars back in the 1970s.  Then that afternoon I got an e-mail announcing that he’s playing a show here in Chicago.

Buffynicity #2: 

10:22 PM 1/29/2018  I’ve really got to get back into the narrative, here.  I feel pretty good but I’m in outer space.  I have five people to write to and I’m not doing it. 

Buffynicity #2 was amazing.  Last Thursday I woke up and everything was difficult.  For instance, my cutting board got caught in the kitchen drawer and I made myself late for work trying to get it out.  Then when I got to the “El” station my Ventra card was not where it usually was in my wallet.  I dug a little deeper and found an old one, but it didn’t work.  I finally found it in an unusual pocket and managed to get on a train, but then a voice came over the loudspeakers reminding passengers that their Ventra cards would expire soon and to get them renewed.  To hear that announcement for the first time this year on the day I briefly “lost” my Ventra card and found an old one I had forgotten was in my wallet, was a very complex validation of synchronicity.

Unfortunately I’ve been in such a daze for the last week that I am way out of my narrative and I’ve forgotten very many other Buffynicities, although I have had a few with “Sense8”.  I’m on episode 6 of that show now.

Buffynicity #3:  There’s all kinds of stuff about parents in the last epidsode I watched, and my parents came to visit this weekend.

Wednesday the Moon entered Taurus, bringing the usual lethargy and a sense also of burdensome obligation as I have a lot of demands on my time, like laundry and taking out the recycling and such, and I am not keeping up very well.  Mercury conjunct Pluto in the afternoon was related to my recent successes with 3D, and some deep insights I’m getting into what to do with it.  The Moon squaring the Sun and Venus in the evening brought a sense of not being able to get comfortable anywhere.  There are big changes happening but I can’t control them so they’re a little uncomfortable.

I had my big “Ventra” Buffynicity on Thursday, and in general the day went smoothly.  They left me a bunch of tasks down there but I took care of them.  In the evening the Moon trined Pluto, once again a Pluto transit on my day downtown.  It also trined Mercury and opposed Jupiter.  I felt pretty secure in myself but totally at odds with the world around me, like the spirit world is getting me ready for takeoff, some kind of total escape from who I’ve been in this world. 

Mars entered Sagittarius on Friday, which I think explains my total lack of ability to focus.  And yet I have this warm, fuzzy feeling about everything and I don’t care what happens.  The Moon entered Gemini, which also contributes to total flakiness so I had no serious thoughts but just messed around.  Moon opposing Mars also contributed to this total scattering of energies.  I met with my parents and we had dinner and then went to see “The Last of the Jedi”, which was pretty amazing.  Moon inconjuncted Saturn during that time.  I think it might have been related to how long that movie seemed to go on for me.  It was like it ended and then went on for another 45 minutes. 

I went home and fell asleep. 

Moon was squaring Neptune in the morning as I got up and prepared to meet my parents again, so I dawdled around and was still getting ready when they arrived.  Then there was some hassle as I wanted to stop by the Library but forgot my books.

Buffynicity #4:  I had videos overdue at the library on the 23rd, but I didn’t get an e-mail until Friday night. I intended to stop by there with my parents on Saturday morning, but completely forgot until my father spontaneously asked me if I ever got to the library anymore.  I went back and got my books and this was a powerful validation that these visits are governed telepathically.

No tranists all day while I was at the Museum of Science and Industry until the evening when the Moon inconjuncted Pluto and Jupiter while I was at a ritual.  I was still feeling totally out of sorts, like I was only part way in the world and never coming all the way back.  I went home and fell asleep.  In the morning I woke up to meditate, but then fell right back to sleep and wound up sleeping for another 19 hours, only getting up to go to work this morning.

Moon trining Neptune brought good news, a really fantastic sale at Renderosity, and also the Dionsyian theater I’ve had my eye on at Daz3D for a few weeks went on sale.  I made some amazingly powerful pictures last week and I am getting more and more skilled at working magic this way, which feels exhilarating but at the same time like it’s taking me into totally unfamiliar territory. The Moon incojuncted Venus and I felt totally lost in the world but at the same time like I was being carried away into something much better.

I got home and I thought I was going to catch up on the tasks I’ve been putting off for a week but I wound up working on 3d all evening, looking up at 9:30 to find I’d missed my chance to work out or even to do laundry.  Catching up with my blog now is my last effort to actually get something done tonight.  Moon is opposing Pluto and I find this alienation from all my tasks related to the collective validates the transit completely. 

Then the Moon trined Jupiter as I finally got in gear and caught up with my life, so I feel this transit is validated as well.

Tomorrow the Moon opposes Mercury but also enters Leo, which is the start of my best arc of the lunar month.  I wonder how that mix will turn out?  It could be like a full moon.  Moon trining Mars will bring energy I’m sure, and I’ll be back on track.

All in all I can see how astrological influences added up to this last few days of a strange contentment even while I feel like crap and don’t get anything done.  And I’m encouraged to see how the aspects for tomorrow are much better for accomplishing things.  I feel I’m back in my narrative.

11:03 PM 1/23/2018  I let myself get way behind on my blog again, mostly due to 3D, but at least I got a cool new image done.  I wish I could remember back to last Wednesday.  Mars inconjunct Uranus brought something, Venus entering Aquarius as well.  I’m in too much of a rush to go over it so I’ll just leave placeholders.  Although Venus in Aquarius is much more peaceful, and I feel better adjusted to the world – even hopeful, especially as I make progress with 3D. 
Thursday Mars trining Chiron at lunchtime was pleasant enough downtown.  I’ve made a big breakthrough in terms of the daydreams that haunt me – I feel like I’m leaving the sphere of the Earth.  It’s not as important for me now and there’s some other identity that I have elsewhere in the cosmos that I can return to.  The Mars aspect was that it’s okay to be pissed off and disappointed in this rotten world, and I can just go somewhere else.  In the evening I came home and fell asleep, and then I went to Brian’s astrology salon and got a lot of insights.  I channeled a bit about what a total disaster this world is, and picked up a new reading client.

Friday went pretty smoothly.  The Moon entered Pisces in the afternoon, which always makes me lazy and apathetic.  Mercury was sextiling Neptune in the evening which made me feel very psychically alert and grounded.  My drive home was very pleasant as I looked back over all the other Friday homeward commutes I’ve conducted, and saw the improved psychic quality of my inner dialogue.  The fact that I’m even remembering to write this shows that my awareness is shifting – the different states are getting grounded, and this has a lot to do with 3D, which is a ver psychic process for me.

The Sun entered Aquarius later in the evening and I have felt the change dramatically – I feel very in control of life and I am taking a very businesslike approach.  I’m bringing forces into play and getting amazing insights about the types of things I might do in this world.  The Moon sextiling Saturn was a kind of acceptance of limitation related to productivity.  Once again I felt that I’m happy to have this be my life.  I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything except expand my perceptions.

I had two readings on Saturday afternoon and I made a ton of money as the Moon conjuncted Neptune.  It wasn’t too hard to see the validation of that transit.  I still have a lot to think about concerning what I achieved in those readings.  I’m hitting a new level with it.  Moon sextiling Mercury was also validated in the ease with which I translated information.

Sunday I spent at King Spa and had a fantastic time.  Moon conjuncted Chiron and trined Mars.  I felt these in the healing of my inner senses.  I’m still turning over those events in my mind but I felt the transits in the sense that I feel I’m emerging from chaos at last, after decades of being lost in it.  Mars is giving me the directing force.  I know what I need.  I’m not worried so much about how I got this way (the Chiron healing in effect), but instead I’m just forgetting it and moving on to much more exciting psychic layers of awareness.  That story of wandering in daydreams is ending.  I’m getting hard psi information now.

Moon entered Aries in the evening.  I felt like I was starting a new life with the new year.  With the validation of two full-length readings conducted the day before, I now see myself as an intuitive, and not just someone who wonders about his intuition.

11:18 PM 1/23/2018 I’m going to bed now.  I’ll catch up with yesterday and today tomorrow night.  “Gentlemen Take Polaroids” is going through my head for some reason.  I’m on episode #3 of “Sense8”.

Buffynicity #1:  Last night I posted a picture of an angel with gray hair that hung over one shoulder and then tonight at the grocery store I wound up standing near the entrance next to a woman with a similar hairstyle and color.

7:24 PM 1/16/2018

I don’t think I’ve worked out or watched a video in several days.  I had a lot of other things going on.  For instance, i went down to Edgewater on Sunday and ate at one of the worst restaurants in the world, and I got sick so yesterday I staggered through my day at work and then took Nyquil when I got home.  Then I slept in a couple of extra hours this morning.  Now I feel pretty good.  I’ve got some great stuff downloading from Daz3D as I speak.  After that I’ve also got some cool stuff from Renderosity to install.  My last picture really rocked my world and I’m very enthusiastic about making real magic.  I found this great Greek amphitheatre on Daz that I’m going to buy on Friday which may be one of my main settings from now on. 

I’ve forgotten most of what happened.  Without Buffy to remind me what’s going on I’m drifitng a little.  2018 feels as though it’s going to be an exciting year, however. 

On Thursday I was working downtown, getting some things done.  I barely remember what the Moon sextiling the Sun and Venus meant, except it all went fairly smoothly.  Moon inconjunct Uranus in the afternoon probably had some pretty good sales on Renderosity and Daz3D as I’ve been picking up some amazing stuff there.  And I do remember a big, unexpected computer hangup in the afternoon, trying to get some files processed that wouldn’t work right, so I believe that validates that minor transit.  I do remember my mood as the Moon trined Chiron, and now that I think about it I didn’t get out of there until much later than I expected, forgetting things and wandering around the building – I went to McDonald’s and then realized I’d left something undone and so yes, all that forgetting and aimless wandering does amount to an unexpected Uranus-related event.  The trine with Chiron right afterwards had to do with sadness, feeling rushed and a little unloved, wondering where I belong in this rotten world, but at the same time the train ride home was familiar and I was giving myself a break, not pushing myself to go run before the show at the Wilmette Theater.

The show itself was very powerful.  I had good trance states and some nice conversations as the Moon entered Sagittarius.

Friday there were no transits all day, I just worked.  I felt pretty solid taking care of business.  In the evening Mercury conjuncted Saturn and the Moon squared Neptune.  i think I felt the square with Neptune all day in a sense of isolation from my own dream.  I just worked and didn’t feel as though I belonged anywhere at all. 

I wish I’d felt more when Mercury inconjuncted Saturn.  I went to pick up the books for the IANDS meeting, which was a little limiting, since I usually do it on Thursday but I had to reschedule.  It was snowing, too, I think.  I should be able to find more meaning in this transit, shouldn’t I?  I usually do with Mercury transits, but perhaps that obscurity is the meaning of Mercury conjuncting dark Saturn.  I had a great meditation session; I had returned some Library books earlier in the evening.  I was doing some good 3D stuff.

Saturday I had a big surprise to validate the Venus square with Uranus.  The speaker was Eric Pearl, whose book I read years before.  I had no idea it was going to be him and it was extraordinarily powerful to do meditations with him, having used his healing modality for years and years.  It was extremely powerful and I felt exceptionally focused, which led to a very mystical evening as Venus sextiled Chiron and took me back through the years.

Sunday the Moon entered Capricorn.  I didn’t have any car trouble, but I went down to Edgewater and ate at this crummy restaurant I’ve eaten at for years just because it’s between the Bryn Mawr stop and Graham Crackers, but this time was the straw that broke the camel’s back – the service and the food were so shitty and overpriced that I vowed never to return.  And then on top of that I got sick.  So that fit with the Sun squaring Uranus – this unexpected disaster at one of my old haunts, which actually gave me the impulse to cut my comic subscriptions and stop going down to Edgewater on Sundays altogether, and use that time for something else.

So I was feeling sick and the Moon conjuncted Saturn in the evening.  I didn’t get anything done and I just went to bed early. 

I woke up early monday morning, around the time the Sun was sextiling Chiron, feeling “convalescent”, a kind of cozy drowsiness with work still several hours off, and lay awake through the Moon conjunction with Mercury, feeling the presence of the spirit world and doing my laundry in the middle of the night. 

I’m turning a corner with my astrological perceptions, feeling te presence of the planetary energies in a more specific way, more distinguished from my awareness of my physical body. 

Work was pretty typical.  I found some great stuff on Daz.  Moon sextiling Neptune in the afternoon made me feel like I’ve entered a new era in my life, when I can finally just transmit impressions from the spirit world and stop wandering in chaotic daydreams of what it all might mean.

I dropped off the IANDS books in the snow and made it home.  Jupiter sextiled Pluto late at night but I was sleeping, having taken some Nyquil.  I’m convinced it was the lousy food at that restaurant in Edgewater that messed me up.  I’m so annoyed with that place that I’m thinking I should go online and leave a bad review for them somewhere.

This morning came and I was still a little tired and under the weather so I slept in a couple more hours.  But then I felt pretty good and I was actually fairly excited when I got to work.  There was an amazing sale on Daz3D and I finally got the Terradome I’ve been wanting so I can get the right sky and seascape for my Black Citadel.

I rode the quest of the Moon sextiling Mars, thinking all about my character Zane and how he loves barfights, how essential barfights are to his personality.  I didn’t realize until just now, checking the transits, that this particular observation was so related to celestial timing.  It’s encouraging as I get deeper into storytelling through 3D.  I have to remember to work on astrologically-timed and -themed subjects.

The Moon squared Uranus just before I got off work.  I’m trying to remember what it was that hit me but I was feeling very strange.  I almost stayed late to keep working.  My subconscious is telling me that if I keep searching I’ll remember something that happened.  I know I got a call from some kind of credit card scam around 12:48.  And also I now remember that I was checking my bank account and realized that my student loan payment hasn’t come out for this month.  That wasn’t a crisis, as it’s in the budget, but it was still a surprise, so once again the transit is validated.

I was shopping while the Moon sextiled Chiron – it was nice to get back to routine after being sick, and having a rushed weekend.  I was feeling very confident, as though many of my telepathic problems have been solved, and that I finally have the distance I’ve always wanted from the rotten personal relationships of my past.  Also I was feeling extremely enthusiastic about the 3D stuff I picked up today.  My work in that area is really taking me places.

8:11 PM 1/16/2018 So I just caught up with my narrative after four or five days of sickness and chaos, and I look up to realize that the New Moon is only 6 minutes away.  That certainly validates that transit.

Last summer I noticed that I usually had car trouble during Capricorn Moons.  It’s true that with all the snow my windshield has been very messy but the car is not such a hassle.  However I did get sick from that damn restaurant so my wariness of this phase is still justified.

I just won game on Chess.com that I’ve been playing for weeks.

Venus enters Aquarius tomorrow.  I think Venus in Capricorn has been very related to my work with 3D, taking the lush Venusian imagery of my imagination and translating it into hard parameters.  Venus in Aquarius will probably bring a phase of more publishing, making more stuff for the web, probably setting up an account on DeviantArt.com.

I’m especially looking forward to Mars inconjunct Uranus tomorrow afternoon.  i wonder if there’s a way I can prepare, so nothing bad happens?

It’s nice to be caught up again.  This is the longest I’ve gone without running in months … but getting sick and getting better has brought me some new vitality and a sense of what I’m supposed to be doing.  I’m off to work on 3D now.

11:12 PM 1/10/2018

I’m going deeper into trance now, less concerned with what anyone might think than I have been in ten years.  On Monday the 8th, Venus sextiling Jupiter and Mars sextiling Pluto made me feel quite expansive, like I have a lot of interpersonal relationships sustaining my life and a lot of involvement with the world ahead of me.  The picture I posted on Renderosity, with major Plutonian themes, has been on my mind and also the immanence of some kind of revelation about what the spirit world wants me to do with my insights. 

Monday I still had this disastrous project from the week before hanging over my head, but somehow it was working out a little at a time.  I did spend a lot of time thinking about how meaningless corporate America is, how empty and sad this entire country has become, and how I don’t give a damn about anything that happens here. 

Major Lunar squares in the afternoon, Venus, the Sun, and Pluto.  Life was feeling pretty awkward.  I need a haircut and I had a lot of errands to do.  I did manage to get my grocery shopping done but I was still feeling pressed for time.  I was thinking a lot about the entertainment business, which I’ve thought about for most of my life, and how all the latest sex scandals just make the whole thing seem like garbage, and make all of America seem like nothing but garbage in retrospect.  What a lame, sad bunch of souls come to this pathetic world to cocreate!  How easily forgotten this ugly, insignificant world must be to the souls of the dead.

But my planner pages came in the mail that night and I began to get my life back on track as the Sun conjuncted Venus and I felt more than ever like I can finally see my true spiritual home, can finally focus on getting what I want and forgetting about the idiocy of the society I live in.

The darkness is increasing all around me; it’s a comforting darkness with the name of an angel.

Tuesday the 9th I forgot my phone.   Moon sextiled Mercury and I was still thinking about how cool my latest picture on Renderosity is.  Also I took major steps to resolving the disastrous project from last week.  There was a ton of cool stuff for sale on Daz3D. The Moon entered Scorpio and I tuned out the world.  Venus trined Mars.  I wish I could remember what was going on at that time, because it was deep. 

But I feel now like someone is in the room with me, some ghost, and I recall that I had a bunch of stuff in my shopping cart at Renderosity but I stayed up late drinking and never bought it so my coupon expired and the sale ended so I never got any of it, validating the Moon sextile with Saturn considerably – although it’s not so bad because there was also a one-day sale (urgent time concerns again) on Daz3D where I actually got away with a ton of much better stuff.  I also did a lot of work on the elements of greek tragedy in my heptalogy, with unity of time-place-and-event coming into focus.  I also found some settings ond Daz that will produce just that level of intensity in my 3D work.

Another wild validation of the Saturn transit was that I went to run and thought I had forgotten my tablet, even though it was stuck in my coat pocket, so I listened to music instead of watching more of Sense8.  A rather silly mistake but evidence of a trend that continued this morning.

Moon sextiled Mars and made me feel too good to sleep late last night, but then I woke up early this morning and lay lazily in bed wondering how long I had before work – until I realized that the volume on one of my alarm clocks was set all the way down and I was missing it.  It was just making a little tapping noise.  When I discovered that I realized that my main alarm was also off, and my phone was out of charge.  It had run down during the night.  This was the biggest drag as it took hours to charge.  I actually bought another phone on Ebay to replace it before it came back to life around 11 am. 

There were a number of other major screwups.  Yet another project I thought was done turned out to be fucked up and then there was a messed up delivery that had several people across the nation deeply annoyed with me.  And on the day my phone isn’t working for hours I got five text messages and a call from my housemate who went on vacation and left her passport at home.  Whatever is going on in the cosmos, it’s been extremely fucked up for the last couple of days. 

However the Moon trining Neptune was crystal clear.  The parallel dimension I inhabit was crystal clear, especially in the ten minutes right before the transit.  I’m finally getting the answers I want and cutting free the evil monsters of my past.

More and more I’m able to catch myself in the middle of the mysterious daydreams that haunt my life, and bring myself back to the world. 

But the continuous stream of disasters is still going on, as when I got home it turned out that all of the charger cables I have here are now broken so I had to spend an hour going to all the stores in the neighborhood searching for a replacement, ultimately paying 10 dollars for a cable I could have gotten for $3 on the web if I’d had the time.  I was exhausted from walking up and down the block as well, so I didn’t bother to run. 

All of this is probably related the Mercury entering Capricorn tonight.  Possibly, with all the 3D I’m doing and some other things, the cosmos is moving me toward greater articualion and less escapism.

I’m too tired to go on right now, but I’m generally very happy with all that’s going on.

10:44 PM ¼/2018

Today was a f***ed up day at work as I struggled with the screwed up project that I was informed of on Tuesday, but as the day progressed I made the necessary contacts and figured out how to fix it so it is basically resolved and the loose ends should be tied up tomorrow or Monday. 

I got my astrological planner tonight, but I had a lot of other stuff on my mind so I’m not doing transits.  Really I just had to make an entry becase I watched the season 7 finale of Buffy and even though I wasn’t expecting much (I just squeezed it in because I finished season 5 last night) it rocked my world and made me miss Buffy all the more. 

ATT Fullscreen ends tonight, and it showed in the lousy reception – the show kept pausing to buffer.  It was funny all the other disasters that happened – I forgot my headband so I had to keep wiping sweat out of my eyes, and so I dropped my towels and had to get off the treadmill to retrieve them.  I came right down to the wire, trying for 800 calories burned but the timer ran out at 799.9 – obvious proof of synchronicity, the last Buffynicity of the era.

But all that was fun for me, I took it as a synchronicitous echo of the mad scramble of the finale, just the chaos of the final battle. I’m going to miss this show – not that I won’t be able to see it, but Netflix doesn’t carry it and I’ve already downloaded Star Trek to watch tomorrow.

However I must say that Joss Whedon is my favorite TV writer and Buffy is the greatest show since Star Trek TOS.  I can’t wait to watch it again.

And I have so many ideas for my own 3D animation but tonight I’ve told the world how much I love Buffy and I’m off to bed.