5:57 PM 5/25/2017 I’m on episode 100, I think, only two thirds of the way through the series. I just checked and I think the Jupiter retrograde with which I started “The Buffy Diaries” will be over on the 9th, so I’ll still be watching season six when it ends, and then I’ll be on into the future. What a wonderful 3 months this has been. I really feel like a part of the Buffyverse now. I have to decide if I want to go on and watch Angel when I’m done, or go back and start over, maybe this time reading the scripts as well. There’s quite a bit going on with this, telepathically. At the moment I’m struggling with the balance point of my self-awareness – I have a lot of different strands of information I wouldn’t mind writing about but it’s hurting my head to choose between them because I have so much energy. I got home a little early and made myself happy by sweeping the floor – I’ve started doing it in small sections every day instead of taking an hour to do it on weekends. I feel very productive, especially after making it through another day downtown with everyone taking me seriously and respecting me for organizing all the insanity that was down there when we took over. Also I am developing the ability to simply work without falling into distracting daydreams. The fragmented pieces of my mind are coming together.
Now I’ve hit kind of a wall and I’m debating whether to write about the music I listened to today or to go to the trouble to dig my astrological guide out of my bag and go over transits. But I’ve already done that and the book is sitting next to me, I realize. Also it’s cold in here. Since the horoscope book is here I’ll start at the beginning.
I stayed up late last night, until 1 am, very excited about the new wave of orderliness and organization I’m feeling. Only now when I check back do I realize that I kept myself awake with nervous energy until the Moon inconjuncted Saturn. Given that getting enough sleep for work in the morning was a concern, once again I see that a Saturn transit brings a crisis concerning time. However I did get a lot done and I did have some extra time this morning because I leave later to go downtown. The moon entered Gemini just after I got on the train. It was a pretty comfortable ride, it never got crowded. I was listening to “Ballad For Dead Friends” again, as I did on and off all day. I actually got to work on time as well. Everything was going well.
So what did I experience while the Venus/Pluto square was approaching? Mostly good things. I was able to get a lot of work done and feel very in control while at the same time enjoying myself. The climax of season 5 of Buffy was on my mind, and the amazing Buffynicities I’ve been experiencing. The latest resonance between the memory trips in Guardians of the Galaxy and Buffy, in which the relationships turn out to be significant, is very relevant to my life, and very healing. I take it as a kind of sign from my angels that they are real and whatever I’ve experienced on my long, strange, psychedelic trip it has substance and relevance in higher planes.
I also found a couple of great Megadeth songs to go in the soundtrack of my heptalogy – “Vortex” and “FFF”. I really like Megadeth now and it’s like collapsing time to go back across all those years I avoided metal.
My writing is getting more peaceful because I’m accepting the limitations of it. I think that’s part of what my Buffy watching is about, it’s getting my emotions going while at the same time showing me that there are limits to what can be said about what is going on. There are all kinds of amazing resonances and synchronicities but now I know first-hand that even if you do describe them in detail it doesn’t stop the world, it doesn’t make people any better than they are. It takes some of the pressure out of writing for myself. I know I can’t depict all the magic anyway so I might as well go on with some nice characters who will give people fond memories like the ones the characters in Buffy give me.
I’d have to say that Venus squaring Pluto coincided with me feeling more like a part of the world than I ever have, and more like I could do some things that I want to than I ever have. I think enjoying heavy metal for the first time is a part of that. I’m accepting that even though the world is a disaster I can still live in it.
My boss showed up a little after noon and then I had a big conference call. I was ***
10:26 PM 5/25/2017 I was interrupted by an angel at that point and fell asleep for a little while, then I woke up and I was having some pretty good interactions with them, accompanied by very powerful energetic experiences that made me not really care if I make sense anymore. I am reporting it however. Then I cleaned up my model table which was important as I will explain shortly.
Buffynicity #1: As I cleaned up my model table, I had a large plastic jar that had held Jelly Bellys, which I finally cleaned out and I put it on the table to hold paintbrushes and files and stuff. Then, during the episode Buffy says to Willow “don’t get a jelly belly on me now." That was nice but then as the episode went on and I collected Buffynicity #2 I forgot this one until in the first episode of season six Willow is relishing the thought of breakfast with "pancakes in bellies”, which reminded me. So that was a minor one, but it was reinforced.
And having said that I note how, after months of this and 5 seasons, having characters on Buffy mention things I was just thinking of has become so regular that this is minor. Even though it was only half an hour or so before I went to run that I was setting out that jar.
On another, minor note, I was wondering whether Anya’s terror –
ANYA: No, no, it’s an omen. It’s a higher power, trying to tell me through bunnies that we’re all gonna die. Oh god.
Was a reference to Donnie Darko.
Buffynicity #2 was even more dramatic although I’m disappointed because I have no evidence again. However as I was cleaning up my model table I started thinking about Angels in movies and how the original film “Escape to Witch Mountain” was a great metaphor for angels because the little telepathic girl who talks with her mind without moving her mouth evokes the kind of presence angels have, appearing very clearly but not seeming to speak. Then I walked down the street and I was seeing the advent of Willow’s telepathy which is handled just that way. That was powerful for me. Jelly Bellys are kind of goofy but I’ve always loved that movie and to start thinking about it in detail just an hour before I saw Willow start doing that was so smooth, so perfectly timed – even though I’ve had other more spectacular Buffynicities the total clarity of this one, the vividness and distinction with which I was imagining that specific aspect of the movie, the fact that I saw Willow doing it within an hour, makes me feel like I’m supercharged telepathically.
So now I’m wrapping up loose ends for the night. New moon in Gemini, the crap season of the Moon is almost over. Tomorrow I’ll be waking up right when the Moon squares Neptune so I bet I’ll have some really wild telepathy. Moon inconjunct Pluto at 1:11 PM, I’ll be getting more answers. Pluto aspects are all about answers now, the ones I’ve been waiting for for decades about society and justice and even entertainment. Moon sextile Venus I’ll have to watch closely. Since the Venus conjunct on Monday turned out to be unexpectedly dark I’m going to be examining that planet a little more closely. For instance, in my chart Venus and Lilith are both in the same house. Moon conjuncting Mars at 9:21, the first Friday I won’t have a dreaming circle in two months. I should do something crazy. Possibly I’ll go see Alien: Covenant or maybe Guardians again. Moon opposing Saturn at 11:53. Will I be rushed for time again? I’m expecting something fun.