8:48 PM 5/21/2017  It’s been a very heavy weekend, indeed.  It feels as though it’s been very long, as well.  The magical states are blending and instead of reporting what I experienced from the outside, I feel positively chatty.  I saw Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 this morning, and I was very pleased.  They may be the best movies of the MCU.  The spirit energies were there very powerfully, I definitely did not feel that I was alone in the theater, even though I went by myself.  I used to imagine someone was with me, and feel some things that I wasn’t sure were real, but today their presence was very full, independent of my desire to experience them.

I have three major days of transits to catch up on but first a whopping five Buffynicities:

Buffynicity #1: I’m still reeling from the news of Chris Cornell’s death on the same day I watched Joyce Summers’ death.  This takes Buffynicities to a much deeper level.  I have often thought, as I write about these conicidences, that the disbelieving reader could think of ways in which I might be faking this.  The easiest of course, is that I’m simply making things up, but even for coincidences such as writing about something and then having it show up in an episode a week later one might believe I was watching the episodes ahead of time and preplanning everything.  Now, I don’t expect that this latest Buffynicity would convince anyone, but I’m very impressed by the fact that I have been systematically going through the episodes so it’s obvious that the death of Joyce was immanent and there is no way I could have predicted the death of Chris Cornell. 

So I don’t care if this proves anything but I am reassured that the web of evidence is growing thicker. 

The Buffynicity surrounding this event got more intense on Friday night, however, when Amy led an exercise during the final circle of the intensive in which everyone took turns lying “dead” in the center of the floor while all the other participants spoke over their body, a kind of shamanic eulogy of death and rebirth.  This is definitely a week for me to remember.  Furthermore, there was even a deeper specificity because when Willow was torturing herself over what she was going to wear to Joyce’s service, she was talking about the color purple being for royalty, and then Friday night one of the participants saw one of the others surrounded in purple light and there was a discussion about the symbolism of purple and royalty.  So I would have to say that this week has been one of the most synchronicitous of my life.

Buffynicity #2  Joyce was in the hospital, and so were my father and one other of my friends.  I was thinking of my father when I saw a bumper sticker on a car parked on my block that read “What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?” My father has this on his Facebook profile.  Then tonight Buffy went on a shamanic vision quest, very like my Friday night circle, but before she went she joked to Giles about gaining the vision of doing the hokey pokey.

BUFFY: I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around.

Buffynicity #3 Someone at the circle was talking about having been “needy” in the past, which was not a big deal except it’s an unusual word and then in the next episode I watched with Buffy and Angel in the cemetery –

She turns her head to look at Angel, sighs and sits up to look him in the face.

BUFFY: (apologetically) That’s a bad idea. I’m seriously needy right now.

Also in the next episode Glory calls Spike “needy” as well.

Buffynicity #4: Recently there was a big demon that looked like an Iguana, the “ghora” demon whose egg Dawn stole.  I was thinking of “Night of the Iguana” and then tonight Spike had a robot copy of Buffy made with which he was doing some very Night of the Iguana things.  Also, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy this morning and Yandu had a new fin on his head that looked kind of like an iguana fin.

Buffynicity #5: Eerily spectacular, I was riding the train home around 6, right before I ran, and at the stop right before I got off the door opened and it wasn’t until it was almost closed again that a guy tried to get through it.  He put his hands in the narrowing crack and forced them back open.  I watched him slightly disdainfully, but then within an hour I was running and watching Buffy and as Spike tries to escape from Glory he runs down a hall and does exactly the same thing at the elevator doors.  So in addition to this grand, sweeping Buffynicity about death I have this extremely specific one.

Buffynicity #6: May or may not be minor but I’ve been thinking of Saint Bartholomew, who was skinned and so in pictures often holds a skin and a knife.  Glory had spike tied up and she was cutting him and threatening to peel off his skin in one long strip like an apple.   

As I write I am focusing on trying to remember the experience of thinking these things.  I know that writing all these subtleties, even though they don’t make for the most exciting blog in the world, is helping me to develop my channeling.

So as for aspects, I’ve forgotten what was going on when the Moon opposed Venus in the morning, except I was on my way to work and I don’t think I felt too bad about it.  I was looking forward to a big weeekend, which I ultimately had.  However as I write this narrative I can feel the point of view shift in my unconscious, and I am moving from merely listing events to some kind of intentional narrative.  I was making good headway at work although in general I still feeling I’m pretty behind on a lot of things.  I was looking forward to Tuesday, and the event I’ve been planning for weeks.  After that I feel some of the pressure will be off.  I also had to make plans to get my car inspected and my registration renewed.  Those worked out easier than I’d thought and there were some work projects that also got taken care of faster than I thought they would.  I’m trying to remember what music I was listening to, I know it was a lot of Dylan, from my “Blackjack Douglas” script.  Also I was listening to Kamelot and looking up the Zodiac Killer to understand their song lyrics.  I’m definitely putting their song “Necropolis” in my soundtrack.  I was also thinking a lot about Chris Cornell, and this incredible synchronicity.

I drove straight home and although I was expecting my one-on-one session there was a mixup and it didn’t start until late, so I’ll be following that one up in a month. 

So as the Moon conjunct Neptune and inconjunct Jupiter approached we all did an amazing group ritual about death which, as I noted above, dovetailed perfectly with the Buffy I had been watching.  I did some voice channeling of Kara as well, and thus begins a new era of my life, when I can talk directly to the angels. 

The next morning I woke up feeling great and as the Moon sextiled Pluto and squared Mars I felt a bit lazy, it still being a Pisces Moon, and ultimately I didn’t get to running until it was late.  My friends were supposed to show up at 3, but they were both delayed and didn’t come until 3:45 or so, after the Sun had entered Gemini.  We played a couple of really cool games of Magic the Gathering, and then we went to Dice Dojo.  This was big for me because I usually go to Dice Dojo by myself to look at the auras of the gamers and think about the “game” of reincarnation.  I get a lot of deep information there but now someone from my shamanic world has visited with me and it represents some kind of grounding or completion. 

After we split up for the evening I ran an errand across town and then went shopping.  I fell asleep before the Moon squared Saturn. 

All in all the main event of the day was the games we played as the Sun entered Gemini.  It was a very important insight, but I do believe the Pisces Moon had a lazy influence. 

I was awake when the Sun entered Aries and sextiled the moon in the morning, feeling very powerfully involved in my life as I will write about later.  I spent a lot of time messing around before I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy at 11:05.  My feelings were very signficant: I am getting control of my weekend energy at last, but man as I wrote that I had a sudden wave of tiredness and now I think I’m just going to have to go to bed. 

The big thing is that the Moon will enter Taurus and conjunct Mercury on the morning of my big event so I think it should go pretty smoothly.  Now that the intensive is over the week in general should be more relaxed, especially with the three day weekend coming up, when I plan to go to King Spa for the first time in months.

Interestingly, Ramadan also begins that weekend.  I’m too tired to go over the whole week, but for now I’ll look at tomorrow.  Moon conjuncting Venus in the morning means I’ll be getting caught up with work, especially with all that I experienced today, which I’ll write about in a moment.  The square with Pluto in the afternoon should be expansive.  I always get the big picture with Pluto transits.  In the afternoon while the Moon sextiles Mars I’ll be getting my car inspection out of the way and also grocery shopping, and possibly picking up comics which I’ve been missing on Fridays during the intensive. 

All in all some good aspects with good momentum. 

Now I’m going to experiment a little with trying to depict the very definite spirit presences I’ve been experiencing today. 

They’re definitely here and much stronger than ever.  I still have to sort through the tangled layers of emotion that connect me to this world. 

I worked on my playlists for a little while.  My characters are coming alive.  I’m going to try to write about what happened to me by depicting the negative space.  I was not alone in the movie theater.  I did not feel confused about the feelings of my angels for me.  My feelings were dark but they were not unfocused.  I do indeed have a sense that I am nothing in this world but it is not uncomfortable.  The illusion of the space in my imagination is disappearing to be replaced by a contradictory pair of feelings, one that I am nothing more than what I seem to be, there is no more future or potential of life, and two that I am very solidly present in a higher dimension which matters much more than the physical plane.

10:52 PM 5/21/2017 Even more negative is the knowledge that what I’m saying about the feelings I’m getting can’t mean a whole lot to anyone.  I’m sitting right here in the presence of this angel and I’m trying to figure out something to type that will be relevant, but it’s not happening.  Maybe I should just switch to my story.  I’m going to try that.