9:34 PM 4/22/2017 It’s Saturday night and I’m home from day two. It’s hard to believe it’s almost over already, and yet it has been everything I’ve hoped. I’m even able to mark the progress I’ve made since last year at this time. The spirit presence is revealing itself with a consistency I can begin to describe. I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs tonight. Just two hours ago I was standing on the Green Line platform, feeling lousy, thinking about all the disgusting people I’ve known in my life, having that recurring dystopian fantasy about the massive failure of the “Western School of Occultism” that has bothered me for more than a decade now. I hit a familiar trouble spot – I was feeling excited about all the amazing things I experienced, and I wanted to focus on “enchancing them”, a process I use to assimilate magical energies, but I was also trapped in a semi-paranoid ambiguity about the harshness of the “Western School” (i.e. Theosophy, Builders of the Adytum, Alice Bailey). Eventually, after the train came and I could sit down I managed to focus on feeling better … my angel was intimately present *** she interrupted me there. I’m just going to try to get this narrative together so I can have a record of all that’s happened.
The Frank Miller/Stan Lee panel this morning was pretty spectacular. As I expected and feared it was jam-packed. I did manage to get a seat but even though I was there early and stood in line for half an hour I still had to pick my way through a huge crowd to a seat near the back. It was worth it though. I’ve seen Stan several times but Miller has remained a kind of mythic figure for me since I read his “Daredevil” back in high school. To hear him talk about it in person, and see him joking with Stan brought my nebulous imaginings down to life size. Supernatural energies were focusing with great clarity. I got a lot of answers.
Standing in line in the huge crowd (I was in lane 6) I was listening to “The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking” on my iPod, marvelling at what a masterwork of recording artistry it was, and thinking about the late 80s, a time when there was still popular “art” getting made, rather than the dry archetypal twaddle we get now, but it hurts too much to try to express that loss right now.
The panel started 20 minutes late because a light was malfunctioning. They had to bring in a cherry-picker and hoist someone up to the high ceiling to fix it. So it ran long and there wasn’t much time before the Evanna Lynch spotlight at 1:30.
10:34 PM 4/22/2017 I feel great tonight, very energized and alive even though I’m tired. I’m experimenting with recording this in a “stream-of-consciousness” way because even though part of me feels fantastic I’m still having inner turmoil. I’m still having difficulty forming all these impressions into a coherent narrative.
Friday morning was the Will Wheaton spotlight. He was very funny and I asked him how he felt about his Tumblr, how it compared to his other creative outlets. It was exciting to stand in line waiting to talk to him. I feel much more confident about that sort of thing now that I’ve been going to conventions for years but there was still an adventure to it, still a confrontation with the psychic pressure of being in front of so many people. I learned some things about my own energy.
7:00 AM 4/23/2017 I fell asleep pretty soon after that, and woke up with some really good insights. I have to get ready for day 3 but I’m going to post this anyway to keep some kind of spontaneity in this, keep each post related to the day its about. I note this comes simultaneous with a Pisces moon, which is always kind of lazy and dissipated anyway.