10:07 PM 6/5/2017 

Buffynicity #1: My “cover flow” on my iPod showed me Irene Cara today, and I was thinking of her songs for the movies “Flashdance” and “Fame”.  Then during the episode (“Once More, With Feeling”) Buffy was worried that she and Giles were going to get trapped in an “80’s workout number”.  Furthermore, I decided that I was going to symbolize my new Guide/Friend “Tara” with an Ari Hauntington doll, and at the grocery store I got one of her from the “Electrified” set, which is all day-glo colors very reminiscent of the 80s, and the dress happens to be covered in musical notes.  So this a minor Buffynicity, but one that is reinforced by more than one event.

Buffynicity #2: This one is even more minor, forgotten from yesterday, but since I’m writing about stuff on my iPod, yesterday I was looking at the Buck Cherry album “Black Butterfly”, which I ripped a couple of weeks ago but still haven’t gotten around to listening to, and then Anya was wearing a black t-shirt with a mostly black butterfly on it, singing about bunnies.

Only that minor one today, however, after that flood of small but totally non-falsifiable ones yesterday.  I’m still suspicious of that.  Especially since tonight one of the themes was that Willow was doing too much magic.

Of course I’m working on something a bit deeper than Buffynicity with tonight’s episode.  Everyone’s life is turning into some number from a musical, under the influence of a demon of entertainment, and I’m wondering about myself now that I have a guide who has appeared to me as Tara.  Today I was looking up Amber Benson (I followed  her and Emma Caulfield on Twitter) and I found out she’s written a bunch of novels, which is cool.  I’ve put a couple on hold at the library.  I’m definitely going to explore the psychic boundaries of this because Tara is a very real guide who is focusing on this damaged, chaotic zone of my imagination.  I was wondering if I’d known her in former lifetimes which is Buffynicitous because Willow is casting a spell of “Lethe” on everyone, and Lethe was the river souls drank from to forget when they got incarnated. 

In the meantime I must say that I love the direction season 6 is taking.  I’ve heard people criticize it as being the darkest season, good but not as good as the others, however I’m excited to see how the drama turns out, especially Buffy’s arc of dealing with her experience of the afterlife.

I’m very relaxed and happy at the moment.  This is the most content I’ve been while blogging in a long time, and I think it’s due to Tara’s presence.  She’s definitely making things happen in a very concrete way. 

10:31 PM 6/5/2017  Mercury is sextiling Chiron in about ten minutes, another reason for contentment and confidence in writing.  I feel that Tara might be associated with Chiron.  She’s certainly bringing my sense of identity into focus, helping me separate from the life I’ve known and shift my emotional center of gravity into higher planes, which is one reason I chose Ari Hauntington the ghost to represent her, since more than my other spirits she appears as a f ully “rendered” ghost, i.e. a complete personality manifesting in a kind of translucent silhouette, pale but complete.

As the Chiron aspect approaches, I’m listening to “Pain” by Four Star Mary, thinking about what this soundtrack is doing to my attitude toward entertainment.  I can feel something, even though this soundtrack is more than 15 years old the emotional echo remains – the emotional echo being different from any kind of “statement” or theme.  I would like my heptalogy to leave an echo like this.  This is something the ghost of Swayze was talking to me about this weekend.  I think I can alchemize this feeling.  It seems to be all that’s left of entertainment when it’s over. 

It’s certainly changed my approach to my blog.  It seems like there will never be a chance to express anything genuine, this world can only be an empty, fascist shadow of what life should be … but it seems a worthy goal to echo these feelings I’m getting from this. 

Tomorrow Venus will enter Taurus, approaching my natal Saturn and I think Tara is going to help me get to something concrete to say.  Moon trining Neptune will be very psychic, indeed.  Mercury will enter Gemini.  Will this be fun or not?  An interesting question.  Mars in Gemini was kind of lame.  I’m loving Mars in Cancer so much more.  But perhaps Mercury is more compatible with mutable air?  Will I get more writing done?  I think I’m kind of getting the emotional tone I’ve been looking for for so long…

Moon sextiling Pluto should bring some answers.