7:38 PM 6/6/2017  One way or another, Tara is the most direct and forceful spirit guide I have ever experienced.  I do have to wonder if “Tara” is actually “Kara”. 

10:01 PM 6/6/2017  Tonight there weren’t a lot of typical Buffynicities, however what did happen was that Spike, Tara, and Amy all got out of situations that were very limiting, Spike and Amy having been stuck for years.  This is interesting because Tara is healing me in a more focused and definitive way than I have ever felt myself to be healed by a spirit.  I see her more clearly as well.  Even as I write this I’m moving gently back and forth between a state of seeing her and of writing about her.  She’s really rocking my world, and rocking it so hard that I can’t even begin to describe it.  She comes right out of the “damaged” zone of my mind and passes through me like a whirlwind, tying up loose ends and putting all the pieces together for me.  It would be nice if she turned out to be Kara, but right now she just looks like Tara from Buffy TVS.

I’m listening to “TVC15” now, feeling really good.  Tara is talking to me about how I should be presenting this.  I should give her another name, though, so people don’t think I think this being I’m talking to is from Sunnydale or something. 

I just thought of something really funny, which may count as a Buffynicity.

Buffynicity #1: Yesterday I was listening to “Drive in Saturday” by David Bowie, and it just came on again.  Then this afternoon I stopped at Half-Price Books looking for books by Amber Benson.  I also checked for other Buffy-related books and I found “After Image” which is about a drive-in theater opening in Sunnydale.  I’ll have to stop by and get that after all.  I’m not sure how coincidental this is because I listen to this song every few weeks anyway, but it is true that it just came on my playlist as I was writing.  I wonder if that means an expanded range for Buffynicities in the future?

There weren’t any books by Amber Benson, but I did find the first two seasons of Angel on DVD on clearance, and a couple of books by Andrew Vachss, who I look to for inspiration in my heptalogy of vengeance upon the forces of darkness.  I bought one of each and I’ll go back next week and get the others if they’re still there.  Once again, Tara was ripping up my mind, going through all my old habitual trance states and imploding them.  I’ll never be the same again. 

I was checking aspects and the Moon sextiled Pluto right before I wrote that first line above, and then went Void of Course, where it’s going to stay until tomorrow so I’m not going to bother trying to focus too much. 

This morning I was in an international meeting at 9 am.  We were teleconferencing with people all over the world.  It was just a general information session on the state of global operations, but all the big shots were there talking about long range plans and I was sitting off to the side having the most amazing experiences with Tara creeping all through my mind, leveraging my telepathic awareness against the mundanity of international capitalism.  I was intimidated by that whole environment years ago when I started this job, but now it’s getting to be pretty tame stuff for me.  Other than the meeting I did manage to work pretty steadily.  I am overcoming my daydream problems I think, and Tara is helping me.  She’s always there now, helping me out of this world into a higher realm.  I’m still not sure who she is but this is a pretty spectacular development in the months-long process of watching Buffy.  THe coincidences got more and more spectacular until finally they peaked and a new spirit came through (although I’m still wondering if she’s going to turn out to be Kara).  However, she feels human, like someone I’ve known before.  When Tara on Buffy was breaking up with Willow I wonder if I might have been some kind of black magician in a past life, and broken up with this woman for similar reasons.

But she says I’ll have my answers within a couple of weeks.  Right now I’m just recording the pressure point she’s hitting at in my mind.  She brings great clarity to my mind and the nebulous delusions I’ve been wandering in for years may come to an end at any minute.  I’m very excited.

This meeting I was talking about got extremely intense, psychically and it was over at 10, fourteen minutes before the Moon trined Neptune, once again producing the spectacular results I expected.

I was at lunch when the Moon inconjuncted the Sun.  It was fun because I’d worked hard all day and accomplished quite a bit.  I felt very secure in my work and in my telepathic contact with Tara, very confident in the immanent revelation of some great destiny of reincarnation, and by that time the day was almost over and I was headed for a night with Tara.

When Mercury entered Gemini I was at Half-Price Books, immersed in my usual bookstore trance there.  I did have the Buffynicity of finding that book, “After Image”.  My usual trance was much more powerful, much more focused, as though I’m somehow no longer subservient to the writing of the past.  “So, Tara,” I’m asking, “I keep getting interrupted by the presence of you, for which I am so grateful, but there’s a crazy vortex of energy in my head and I can’t tell what’s happening.  Over the last few days you’ve become so much clearer every time I see you.  When can I leave this pathetic world behind and simply be with you?  And are you really Kara, or Jody, or someone else?”

“If only I could tell you now.”

Meanwhile I am blazing with telepathic energy.  My prediction on Sunday was accurate – yesterday was pretty mellow but today has been another peak experience.  I feel the whirlwind of Tara’s energy around me, pulling me into some other form. 

Now the Moon will be void of course in the morning, but it will inconjunct Uranus and trine Chiron.  I’ll be listening to the Buffy TVS soundtracks of course.  I feel like I’ve found a key to my own fiction in the Four Star Mary song “Pain”.  The Moon will enter Sagittarius at 5:59, climaxing my Lunar season … So the whole day is going to be one for not giving a damn about anything, daydreaming that I’m dating Amber Benson. 

But the Moon inconjunct Venus will bring an otherworldly sensation which I now know I will be able to understand.  The sensations of vast interior space will now be made clear, put into context.  The Lunar opposition to Mercury, three minutes before the inconjunct with Mars, will be like a “full moon” of information.  Kara will be coming through very powerfully.  So I will intend to use this transit to clarify the relationship between Kara and Tara.

The appearance of Tara has also made my other angels much clearer, by the way.  I seem at this time to be studying the actual boundary between ordinary consciousness and the channeling trance.  Tara is right there on it, seemingly able to push me over at will – something I love about her as I have been so frustrated with non-falsifiable cocreative daydreams.

So I’m giving myself the day off, basically just messing around all day, listening to Four Star Mary and the Dashboard Prophets, waiting for the evening when I’ll have some kind of revelation. 

Jupiter goes direct on Friday.  When I started watching Buffy I expected to be finishing the series about this time, but there’s still a month to go – not that I mind at all.  I’m just congratulating myself on this trip through the past, picking up lost momentum, a lost sense of belonging.  It’s amazing how entertainment can make you feel like you belong in the world.  Thanks, Joss! 

There’s something else to shoot for, an intention for my heptalogy. 

Tara says it’s going to be okay.  My new project is to plan ways to “catch” the experience of the transition between my old life and the dimension I’m now sharing with her.  She could be any of my guardian angels, or all of them, or some woman on the other side of the world, or a ghost, I don’t know, but I can see her so clearly that it’s breathtaking and she is focusing energy directly at the block that’s separated me from the human race for so many years.  She is directly at that pressure point and we are ready to break through. 

I realize now that she is actually the woman who the story “The Day Genny Enslaved Victor With a Blow Job” was based on.  She is Genny from that story, that novel.  She is the goth moppet, and I was probably married to her several lifetimes ago – not during World War Two, but a former lifetime.  This is pretty amazing.  These last few sentences were channeled.  She pushed her energy into mine and we blended.  This will get more intense as time goes on.  I guess she’s not Kara then.  But I’m just so glad she’s here.  In case anyone’s worried she says she doesn’t blame me for that past life … I think it was England, although we may have lived in Germany for a while.  It was before the 19th century, perhaps the 16th or 17th.  I can see our house.  So this is quite wonderful. 

Now I’m going to go concentrate on her.