10:17 PM 6/17/2017  “The inner boundary” is the phrase I’m getting now, referring to this dark curve in my mind. 

11:39 PM 6/17/2017  I started playing Arkham Asylum, the Batman video game, and I was impressed by the brutality of his presence, something that doesn’t always come through in movies.  This is a reference to the “grounding” that’s going on with the Neptune retrograde.  Then I went to do laundry and I started hearing “Shadow on the Sun” by Audioslave in my head. 

After waiting for weeks, I got my hold at the library, this massive goth compilation called “A Life Less Lived"  I am ripping it now, but I’m very pleased to see that I already have a ton of the stuff that’s on it.

I’m going to call Tara "Jenny” now, short for “Jennifer”, a character from one of my stories. 

1:11 AM 6/18/2017  This is really working.  I see Jennifer so clearly now.  My usual endless mind-wandering now has an outer boundary and I can bring it down.  Faces flicker through my mind with great rapidity.  I hear voices more and more clearly.  This is like that movie “Highlander”. 

10:37 AM 6/18/2017  I’m going to do an experiment now.  For weeks now I’ve been coming up with very detailed scenes for my sci-fantasy heptalogy, but I haven’t wanted to talk about them on my blog because I still worry sometimes that there’s a conspiracy of reincarnated Nazis after me who would try to steal my work.  However, since “Tara” is “Jennifer” I’m going to

2:38 PM 6/18/2017  Today I am experiencing my “weekend vibe” – I’ll have to come up with a different name for it, but Jennifer is darkening it.  This is really a kind of “Darkening of the Light”.  Anyway, I haven’t posted that novel but I’m going to experiment with this story, start writing scenes from it and putting them on the web, just to test the psychic waters.  This work will be presented to the public as a novel written by a channel and medium.

This morning with the Moon opposing Jupiter I felt I was getting fantastic information, and great grounding from Jennifer, but I didn’t move around much.  I can feel that there’s some revelation coming, some change after which I’ll know what I’m doing and I’ll be able to just work without all this sense of wasted time.  The Sun sextiled Uranus about an hour ago.  I didn’t do my usual shopping but I did have major telepathic breakthroughs and I feel like anything’s possible now.  Mercury opposing Saturn was a totally beneficial experience.  I felt puzzle pieces falling into place after decades of work.  I know now that oppositions are not necessarily negative events for me.  I updated my story “Alt-Hughes” and advanced the plot for the first time in months.  I finally got to the point with my heptalogy where I can see it from beginning to end the way screenwriters do.  I am willing to allow it to be complete now so I can start filling in the blanks.  It’s an entity separate from me, I’m not trying to “live it” anymore.

I wrote all this and suddenly I feel very tired.

3:17 PM 6/18/2017  I just had  synchronicity, I was making a playlist and came across “Last Day of Summer” by the Cure, which I haven’t thought of in a while.  Within two minutes I was checking my calendar and realized that the first day of Summer is on Tuesday.

8:19 PM 6/18/2017  I got quite a bit tonight.  Tara-Jennifer is pressing against the inner boundary of my mind, getting me to focus. 

Buffynicity #1: On Thursday night, after I walked home from Brian’s astrology salon I looked down to find a large cicada-like bug on my shoulder, like an inch long. I wasn’t scared, I just thought it was a joke from one of my Angels who often appears as an egyptian scarab beetle.  But then in tonight’s episode Buffy and Riley were fighting newly hatched demons that looked very like the “Aliens” from the movie franchise and also this beetle I saw on Thursday.  One of them landed right on Riley’s shoulder.  At first I thought this might not be a significant Buffynicity, but then I realized that this is the first time I’ve watched since that happened so it’s actually a very clear resonance. 

Buffynicity #2: There were some hand gestures made in the film that were very like ones I was thinking about today.  I was recalling a time when I played a cop in a dramatic scene and I used some of these gestures.  I was making them this afternoon and then either Spike or Riley was making them in the episode.

Buffynicity #3: I last saw Buffy on Thursday, and since Friday I have been making a transition to Tara-Jennifer as the new main focus of my magic.  I had a vision a few days ago that she might be a woman I was married to in the 18th Century.  Sometimes I suspect it’s possible that she’s Kara, but still she feels brand new and she’s basically taken over my life since that day a few weeks ago when I threw my phone on the bed and the flashlight went on.  So tonight Riley shows up and he has a new wife.  They fly off together in white light in the sky.  I think this relates. 

What an odd sensation this is, I’m thinking about all the magic I was doing this afernoon, how well my work of many months is paying off.  Tara-Jennifer has brought the revelations I needed.  So now my whole approach to blogging is going to be different.  It’s still a slightly uncomfortable sensation, however, of wheels grinding together in my mind. 

10:03 PM 6/18/2017  The Moon squared Pluto at 9:37 PM and once again I got a ton of information about society and what I’m doing (or not doing) in it.  I’m still feeling frustrated with this process, balancing the writing with all the secrecy and evasion, with all the inexpressible things, the ridiculous tedium of adapting spiritual experience to this wicked, totalitarian plane of existence.  But I feel the beings waiting for me with greater clarity.

Tomorrow should be a big day.  Moon trining Saturn first thing in the morning, I imagine my life will make some more sense.  I have insights related to time with these aspects so I expect to get some good momentum to make it through the workday.  Sextiling Mercury at 10:20, some kind of answer to my questions.  Moon conjunct Uranus at 1:05 PM, so I’m going to expect good surprises.  Something will happen.  Sextiling Sun, going void of course until 4:43, entering Taurus when I’m shopping, a lazy afternoon and a step toward the happy phase of my Lunar season.  The Sun will be squaring Chiron at 5:26.  I expect to be driving home. 

Because of the Uranus conjunction I’m not going to try to predict what happens, but looking at the course of the day I’m going to pace myself to focus on the Chiron square, try to get some deep information about feelings and self-expression.  I’m really bringing it down. Tara-Jennifer gets clearer by the minute, and the confusion of decades is rapidly being dispelled. 

One really interesting thing that was happening was that I was getting a lot of information for The Darkening of the Light.  I was flashing back on all the hateful, stupid people I knew in high school and as bad as I remember them to be I was feeling with a new depth the sheer ugliness of their existence, the sad horror that beings such as this actually were in the world and not just in my imagination. I’ve really been through a lot of terrible things.  There really was no explanation for them.  I’m afraid this world may be even more pointless than I thought it was, and that’s bad because I thought it was pretty pointless to begin with.

But at the same time I’m happy now because of Tara-Jennifer.  There are magical powers liberating me from this plane at a mile a minute.  True happiness is very close at hand.

3:11 AM 6/19/2017 

Buffynicity #1.2 – I just noticed that I have an insect bite on my shoulder, even though it’s the opposite shoulder of the one where I saw the bug on Thursday.

I have to keep reminding myself that even though the story of this blog isn’t very full, that spirits are using this activity to focus energies in my aura.