10:04 PM 6/21/2017

Buffynicity #1: Before I went to run I was scrolling through my iTunes, specifically looking for albums to “uncheck” so they won’t go on my iPod, because I’ve ripped 20G worth of albums since I started watching Buffy and got inspired by Motorhead.  For years I had about 40G to spare, and now I’m down to twenty.  Scrolling down I was also looking for old music to listen to more closely, checking each title as it went by.  I came across the song Frequazoid by Freq Nasty.  I kept scrolling and forgot about it, but then I went to run and within the our I was watching this line:

WARREN: It’s just stuff, big man. All right, you’ll be in the know just as soon as you stop being all freakazoid.

I remembered the Buffynicity but what really freq’d me out was that this song, which I haven’t played, was still on my screen.

Buffynicity #2:  I saw my parents yesterday for the first time in several months, probably since January at least.  Tonight’s episode was about Buffy entering a delusional alternate reality where her parents were trying to convince her that she wasn’t a hero.

Buffynicity #3 is a new peak for Buffynicities, despite the spectacular accuracy and prima facie evidence of tonight’s Buffynicity #1.  As the episode was climaxing I was going along with it, wondering about my own “parallel realities” – because Tara-Jennifer has her own reality, which I’ve been thinking about a lot, and today I was looking up Amber Benson some more and found this quote:

“I always said that, when I grow up, I want to be like Joss Whedon: I want to have my own world.”

I could see why Tara-Jennifer would want me to be looking at Amber.  I found also that we have three very significant planets in the same sign – Chiron in Aries, Moon in Leo, and Vesta in Cancer.

And Tara did “bring it down” when the episode climaxed, casting the spells that turned the tide of the battle. 

So when tonight’s episode turned out to be about Buffy drifting between her life and a strange parallel reality where her mother was still alive (and I had just seen my mother for the first time in six months), I began thinking about my own strange fantasies about entertainment, and how I live in these strange two world – and how Tara-Jennifer is bringing them into collision, which is what I want very much.

And as the episode went on I began to think of a party I went to one time, and someone asked me if I’d ever found myself in a situation so crazy that I went into total denial, and I told him about a time I had been sitting on a staircase, and then I had looked down and there was a guy who was trying to come up the staircase but had stopped.  He couldn’t move because there was a piece of metal in front of him.  And then I realized that the piece of metal was a knife stuck in his throat.  And then I realized that it was my hand that was holding the knife.

And then this imaginary being at this imaginary party asked me “did you look into his eyes”?  And I remembered that indeed I had.  And he told me that this was an initiation, to look into someone’s eyes as you kill them.

And on the screen:

WILLOW: (OS) Everything’s gonna be okay, Buffy.

Flash to the institution. The doctor shining a flashlight at the camera (Buffy POV). He clicks the flashlight off, then on again.

We see CrazyBuffy sitting there catatonic, unresponsive as the doctor shines the light in her eyes. The doctor makes an upset face, turns to speak over his shoulder.

DOCTOR: I’m sorry, there’s no reaction at all.

Close on CrazyBuffy leaning in the corner of the room.

So this is a major night for Buffynicity.  The “Freq-a-zoid” coincidence was spectacular, but for me to be daydreaming about looking someone in the eyes, telling my “imaginary friend” about it at the exact instant that the doctor in the episode shone a light into Buffy’s eyes – a light very similar to the one Tara-Jennifer arranged last week – is yet another quantum leap in immediacy.

Buffynicity #4: (minor) The doctor in the episode looked just like the guy who handled the paperwork on my car yesterday.  I noticed the resemblance immediately.

Now for aspects:  Moon inconjuncting Saturn wasn’t too noticeable except I was feeling rather incoherent with so many things to do so that I actually left my breakfast in my car until after 10 AM.  It was definitely a morning of being rushed but it didn’t bother me too much.  I recovered pretty well.  As a matter of fact, the Sun conujuncting Mercury was making me feel like a genius.  I have taken care of the problem of my car, and Tara-Jennifer is bringing me two major magical influences – she’s “bringing down” my fantasies about entertainment, by drawing me into falsifiable tests of reality which are clarifying my imagination in a breathtaking fashion, and she is also animating my story “The Darkening of the Light”, helping me break through into the actual writing of magickal fiction.

Moon sextiling Chiron as the day ended was a great relief, as the disruptive drama of my car is now resolved and I was off to take care of collecting my insurance money and having my first free evening of the week.  There was a sense of security in resolving an important issue and also in having such a solid grasp of “TDOTL” now, and also Tara-Jennifer’s world.  I’m really getting a handle on the emotions of the world I live in now. 

When the Moon entered Gemini I was at the Schaumburg Library, printing out a label to mail the insurance company my old car’s title and looking up books about “Goth” and checking out a couple more albums, including “The Raw and the Cooked” by Fine Young Cannibals.  Then I stopped at the Rogers Park branch of the Rogers Park library to pick up “Death’s Daughter” and get formally introduced to Calliope Reaper-Jones.  I have decided that during this Neptune retrograde I am going to read every novel by Amber Benson, to ground out any delusions in my visions of Tara-Jennifer, and also to give me some of the emotional substance I need for TDOTL.

Now I’m going to do aspects for tomorrow and then make myself get some lines of TDOTL up.

Not much tomorrow, Moon trining Jupiter in the afternoon, follwoed by a square of Neptune probably just after I get home.  This will be good.  I’ll get some kind of revelation, I know.  Moon inconjunct Pluto indicates this revelation will be more about how what I’m writing fits in with the world.  I got a bunch of that today but it’s too much to describe.

I’m going to post TDOTL separately.