Daily Archives: March 30, 2017

The Buffy Diaries 3-29-2017 part 2

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9:31 PM 3/29/2017  I found some of the notes I took yesterday morning.  Since I saw “Logan” and felt prompted to write about it I’ve been shifting toward a different “frequency” or “range” of expression, trying to get myself more emotionally involved in the world.  I need to find some kind of personal presence in all these aspects I keep blogging about.  There weren’t any major aspects during the workday yesterday, but on the way to work I started listening to Drain STH and thinking about one of the main female characters in my story and also a big scene set in a stadium.  Here I have to think about how much I want to reveal, because there were some really scummy people I used to know when I lived in Grand Rapids who still spy on me sometimes and try to steal my story ideas.  And anyway if I ever wanted to publish there would be copyright issues.  But this is part of the challenge or vortex I’ve falllen into now that I’m more concerned with entertainment.  Buffy is getting me thinking about the world at large and “Logan” was so good that for a moment I transcended myself toward the emotional collective, or whatever you want to call it.  The problem was I immediately hit that wall of how evil and amoral America and American popular culture are, how slimy it is to feel connected to this species.  But I’m going to write about it anyway because I’ve seen that this process is truly magical and can truly shift me to a higher perspective.  The only way to develop that presence is to do it step by step, day by day.  I’m surprised because before I started I was worried that someone from work would find out, but now I realize that this process is the actual me and my reluctance to do this was the very reason I was trapped in that work persona.

I lost some information yesterday about specific moods but at least I recovered a bit and now I can move on to today.  I started listening to “Don’t Change” by INXS on the way in to work, thinking about my old website, where I had the lyrics to that posted.  I may put it back up on Wikidot, just for the hell of it.  I’m feeling the urge to start making more dramatic stuff for the web, either editing together some mashups or working with Blendr to make some animation.  I really need to get my website working, of course. 

I was having a lot of forgiveness this morning.  This process is really helping me to cut “entertainment” loose.  I’m finally getting the insights I needed into why souls choose the life path of entertainers in this rotten, amoral world.  I’m also getting a specific understanding of the actual astral effect of watching stories on video, studying my own movements in and out of time as I think about these stories.  I feel I’ve almost alchemized my own “target”, the specific emotional effect I want my own stories to have.  I’m 90% of the way there.

The Moon trined Saturn and went VOC and I was kind of spacey until it entered Taurus.  Within minutes of that transit I felt a renewal of focus, like I could finally get answers to all of my questions.  I started using some “Abraham-Hicks” meditations again, which I haven’t done for a while.  When Mercury was trining Saturn I was looking up “The Tempest” and having daydreams of living in London in the middle of the 19th century.  I think it’s possible I was interested in theater then.  It’s very obvious to me that my soul chose “The Tempest” as a kind of symbolic signal to myself in this incarnation.  I looked up the flag of London and the history of British theater.  I remember being married at that time and it was nice to get an emotional piece of myself back. 

There’s a kind of dark structure in my mind that’s becoming more visible.  It’s making it easier to do the ordinary work of the day.  It has something to do with recalling past lives and realizing that human life has always been tedious and unrewarding for most people.  It’s giving me a perspective on my imagination in the sense that when I listen to music or watch movies I get a kind of “warlike” excitement but these Saturn aspects today have helped me see that there is no “target” for this surge of energy, that just having imagination as the target isn’t good enough.  I don’t know why I had to spend so much of my life in such vague trances – if it was necessary to become a channel it was certainly worth it.  But now I am definitely moving toward the concrete.

Here comes a huge string of events – Brian’s having a class on Astrology and learning on Sunday, then a circle, then Vincent Genna will be here and he is a very powerful presence, and then into the Angelynx intensive and Sharyl’s intensive starts right after that, and then 10 days later is C2E2, which I know is going to be extraordinary.  That’s the one I’m going to plan.  I’m going to focus on the Moon conjuncting Neptune at 2:57 on Saturday.  I’m going to see what happens if I focus on an aspect months in advance, see if I can get any special insight or effect then.  It also happens to be Earth Day. 

I got a little more integrated tonight, put my feelings a little more together with what I was writing.  There’s a lot to uncover but it’s working.

I’m going to practice a little by focusing on the Moon sextiling Neptune at 7:37 tomorrow.  Moon conjunct Mars in Taurus, I may have a plan of action.  Maybe I could try to gain some insight from Neptune and focus on using it at the conjunct.  Jupiter squaring Pluto at 1:19 pm – will anything happen?  Some big surprise in politics?  I’ll pay close attention to whether it’s positive or negative.  But then Moon is trining Pluto in the evening so I bet it will be postive, except then it goes VOC all night, until after noon tomorrow when it enters my second-worst lunar sign, Gemini.  Hmm.  I’ll probably wind up watching the rest of “The Tempest”.

The Buffy Diaries 3-29-2017 part 1

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9:07 PM 3/29/2017  The most exciting thing about tonight is that I watched the first half hour of Christopher Plummer as Prospero in “The Tempest”.  I could immediately see the resonance of Ariel and Caliban as the balance between the activity of two of my angels.  Furthermore, my third angel, Kara has a name that means “Stormy”.  So there’s all three of them together.  This is cool because yesterday I started listening to “Simon Says” by Drain STH and envisioning a scene from my epic septalogy, “The Nuunar”.  I’ve really begun to write it, my first new scene in a year or more, and this is appropriate as Pallas is entering Aires tonight – I have Pallas in Sagittarius in the 10th house, to go along with Mars in Sagittarius in the 9th house. 

Furthermore, the biggest Synchronicity of the night is that on Friday I saw “Logan” and in that movie is a mutant character named “Caliban”, and boy don’t I feel like a goof that it wasn’t until I was looking up “The Tempest” today that I realized that “Caliban” is a character in “the Tempest”.  Considering that if the Music Box hadn’t been showing that movie this week I might never have thought of that at all, this is really a spectactular synchronicity, which leads to …

Buffynicity #1 – In “Graduation Day” Buffy literally declares “war” on the Mayor, and this relates to my angel of Mars.  Furthermore…

Buffynicity #2 – Today I was thinking about the upcoming C2E2, and this made me think of holidays in general.  The whole Logan-Texas-Mexico chain led me to look up the Mexican “Day of the Dead”, which I guess is now 3 days – October 31-November 2, but I believe it was orignally November 1.  Then a little while later I looked up “The Tempest” and the Wikipedia entry says

“A record exists of a performance of The Tempest on 1 November 1611 by the King’s Men before James I and the English royal court at Whitehall Palace on Hallowmas night.”

Then, in “Graduation Day” Buffy tells Xander he’s going to have to use the soldiering skills he learned on Halloween in Season 2.  So that was three distinct references to “Hallowmas” or “All Saint’s Day” from three different angles.

That’s the biggest.  There were also a couple in the scene between Angel and the Mayor in the hospital.  First, the mayor uses some insults that evil members of my family used to use, but I’m not going to repeat them, except I was thinking of one of them earlier today so it was telepathic.  Second, when Angel throws him across the room he says “You’ve been eating your spinach."  This is a minor synchronicity because even though I gave up eating pasta months ago, just last Sunday I was at a salad bar and I broke down and ate some spinach lasagna.  It was a pretty big deal for me to break my rule and even though it’s minor I accept it as valid.

So the Buffynicities are a little less spectacular today.  There was actually a towtruck with yellow flashers going that sped by the club while I was running, but I don’t even know if I should count that. 

However, the coincidences surrounding "The Tempest” were pretty spectacular and they have deep resonance.  I remember reading parts of it in junior high.  I also watched “Tempest”, a film by John Cassavetes with Raul Julia, Susan Sarandon, and Molly Ringwald several times on HBO back then.  Like Prospero, I have an evil brother who is a scumbag and did things to mess up my life.  I also have spirits who work magic for me.  I leave the rest to the public to figure out.  It’s enough to say that seeing “Cool Hand Luke” and “The Tempest” during this Jupiter retrograde is a very big deal and brings a lot of things from my past to a close.

In part two then, I will go on to astrological aspects and other things.